Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!
by Dis Lexic
Summary: A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.
1. Chapter 1

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. This should be fun. Anyway, lets see where this goes. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

You know, I often wonder if maybe I pissed someone off last time through. Then I look at my friends and realize that no, I most definitely didn't. Sorry, I'm getting WAY ahead of myself. Lets back up a bit and start from the beginning. It all started after I died from having a shelf full of Harry Potter merchandise fall on me. Not the most grandiose of deaths, although it does make me think that maybe Death has a sense of humor considering where I woke up. Anyway, after I ied from blunt force trauma, I woke up again in the body of a baby. Not what I was expecting. But lets roll with it. What I can't roll with is the fact that someone upstairs seems to be having a laugh at my expense. What makes me say that? Well, my Father can turn into a stag, my mother is known for a fiery temper and green eyes and my Godfather is literally a mutt. I am fucking screwed! Still, at least there was one good thing about all this...sort of. I can finally find out what it was that Lily used to protect Harry...me. This is confusing…

* * *

Or maybe not. Let me tell you, baby senses or NOT very good and even if they were, theres no way I'd be able to focus with all the shaking from Mum rushing upstairs with me making me dizzy, a ton of flashing lights and more. The only impressions I could get was that Mum pulling something about the size of her arm out from under my crib and somehow shoving it into my chest while muttering something to herself. Let me tell you, it was a very strange feeling, as if something was being shoved into my Soul.

"Remember Harry, Mama loves you, dada loves you," said Lily once the thing had fully vanished inside me, "Always remember, we're proud of you!"

A loud crash from the door made her glance over her shoulder.

"I'm out of time," she muttered, "Alright, I hope this works…"

She placed a palm on my chest.

"Activate."

There was a flash of light and I felt something burning its way up my spine, making me cry out. Despite that, Lily let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank god, it worked," she said, "Now, all I have to do is…"

The door burst open and everything went to hell. Like I said before, baby senses aren't the best, so I'm not sure what actually happened beyond the basics. Riddle ordered Mum to step aside, she refused and was cut down. Riddle then went off on how he would be the only one to live forever and shot an AK at my head. The light touched me and, for a brief moment, I felt the concept of Death being being forced upon me, shutting down my bodys biological functions in an instant. Then, a searing warmth erupted from my stomach and a burst of golden light shot out, completely healing my body and turning the concept of Death back on its originator in a blast of golden energy that vaporized Riddles body and blasted a hole in the house. I saw the black smoke that was Riddles Soul flee, screaming its head off and leaving behind a fragment that shot towards me.

" _OH HELL NO!"_ I roared in my head and mentally reached out to grab the rapidly fading power that had protected me.

I quickly forced the last remaining bits of energy into a shield that the chunk of Soul splattered against like a bug on a windscreen, reducing it to existential dust and black ectoplasm. I didn't have chance to feel proud of myself though because the effort required to force the remnants of whatever it was Mum had used to defend me was immense and I passed out with blood leaking from my nose. That could not be healthy. Neither could waking up to a horse woman's ear piercing scream.

* * *

You know, I don't know if its because of the extra life knocking around in my skull or whatever Mum did to me, but I'm apparently very good at Wandless Magic. Or at least controlling my Accidental Magic. And that was a very good thing considering how the Dursleys treated me. Or rather, tried to treat me. See, this was apparently a world where the Dursleys decided that it was a good idea to try and literally beat the Magic out of me. When I was 5, Petunia set me to work on jobs that no reasonable person would ever expect a young child to do. Now, heres the thing. I didn't actually mind doing them since it gave me something to do that wasn't humiliating to my adult mindset and I could surreptitiously use Magic to help me along. What I did mind was when Vernon and Dudley decided it was a good idea to try beating me. That was when I started really playing with what I could do with my Magic without a wand.

In my last life, I had been pretty into martial arts, leading me to learn a good number of them over my life and those skills hadn't been lost. True, I didn't have the muscle memory or strength built up thanks to my new body, but I still knew the stances and quickly figured out how to use Magic to augment my strength. Thanks to that, I was able to toss my Uncle across the room when he came home drunk and tried to lash me for supposedly causing his deal to fail. Needless to say, that scared the crap out of the elder Dursleys (I mean, I had just thrown a man who was more than a little porky clean across a room with no problem and, despite what you might think, a good portion of that bulk was muscle. Vernon used to play Rugby and he hadn't quite lost the muscle that required). I think they assumed that what I'd done was accidental magic, but even so, I found myself being moved from the cupboard to the spare room and they started being far more wary around me.

* * *

Of course, Dudley was still a pain in the rear. At school, the fat git did his thing by being a thick headed bully who spread nasty rumors about me that did absolutely nothing. See, while Dudley was a cruel, small minded little boy, I played the part of a kind, if quiet, little boy who was more than happy to help out. It worked to turn the schools perception of me on its head, even after Vernon tried to convince everyone that I as the troublemaker. The fact I didn't exactly hide my intelligence (augmented by the addition of a high school and university education from last time through) meant that the teachers were raving about me and I managed to make friends with most of my class. The end result? Dudley was known as an idiot and ended up getting expelled, along with his gang, for trying to beat up the daughter of a wealthy landowner who lived in the area. I say trying because the girl quickly proved that she was NOT to be messed with when she systematically took all four boys apart with an extremely efficient martial arts style that looked like something you'd see in a pro wrestling match.

But the pièce de résistance of Dudleys fall from grace was when, after being forced to attend multiple sessions with multiple child therapists, Dudley received multiple recommendations to attend Saint Brutus's School for Incurably Criminal Boys. And I didn't even have to do anything to achieve it! I laughed about that, and the Dursleys reaction to the whole thing afterwards as said reaction certainly didn't help Dudleys case when Petunia tried to say that I should be the one to go to that school, not her ' _Precious Dinky Diddykins'_ and Vernon decided it would be a good idea to threaten violence towards the psychiatrists and the bloke who pushed for Dudley to be examined by psychiatrists in the first place, the father of the girl he and his gang had tried to assault. It...didn't go well and now Vernon was landed with a suspended jail sentence, court ordered anger management sessions and a broken arm from where the man had countered Vernon's attempted attack by shattering his elbow.

* * *

Yes, I was having a lot of fun watching the Dursleys life fall apart without any input from me. A good thing to because it made the years up to my 11th birthday fly by and before I knew it, I was finding my Hogwarts letter on the mat.

"Hmm, finally," I muttered as I slipped upstairs before the Dursleys could see the letter, "Now, what should I do now...I wonder if Petunia would be willing to get rid of me for the rest of the summer?"

With that idea in mind, I waited for Vernon to leave for work and Dudley to head off with his friends to add yet more crimes to his rap sheet before I approached Petunia with my letter. She was sat in the sitting room with a cup of tea and a sneer as I entered.

"What do you want?" she growled.

I held up my letter. Immediately, she went the colour of off milk.

"Ah, good, you know about this," I said, "Now, I don't like being here and you don't like me here, so how about we make a deal. You tell me where to go and I'll bugger off for the rest of the summer."

I watched as a number of different expressions crossed Petunia's face, before it landed on an expression of resigned acceptance.

"Fine," she growled, "Theres a pub on Charing Cross Road that normal people can't see. Thats the entrance to _that_ world. If you ask someone inside, I'm sure they can help you more."

She stood and grabbed her purse, shoving a handful of notes into my hands.

"That should be enough to get you there and I'm sure your freakish parents left you something. Now get out and don't come back."

She sat back down and ignored me as I scampered out of the house and down the street.

* * *

One bus ride later and I had found the Leaky Cauldron. It was...pretty much exactly what I was expecting to be honest, a grimy, gloomy place that was sparsely populated with a few patrons at this time of the day, none of whom gave me a second look.

"Can I help you lad?" asked Tom the barman as I approached said bar.

"Um, yes, I was hoping you could help me…" I said.

Tom smiled, showing his lack of teeth and forcing me to hide a grimace.

"Ah, Muggleborn, right?" he asked, "Alright, come along."

He led me out the back and showed me how to open the gate to the Alley.

"Um, would it be possible for me to rent a room for the rest of the summer?" I asked, "Its just, my family…"

"I understand," said Tom, "My own family didn't understand when I received my Hogwarts letter, so I tend to give kids like you a good rate. Go and see the Goblins at Gringotts for some money then come back and we'll get you a room. You can use an owl at the post office to send your reply to the letter for free."

I blinked. I honestly hadn't been expecting that, but I guess its one of those things you never really think of.

"Thanks," I said.

"Not a problem son," said Tom, "Oh, but I'll need a name for the books."

I hid another grimace.

"Harry Potter," I said and stepped through the portal before Tom could react.

* * *

However, whatever bad mood I could have had was quickly washed away as I walked down Diagon Alley and my Harry Potter fanboy nature came out full force. It really was something else to walk down the _actual_ Diagon Alley and take in all the magic that this place practically dripped in. I couldn't wait to have a proper look around some of the shops and see what I could find! By the time I reached Gringotts, I had a massive grin on my face and practically skipped up the steps, much to the amusement of the guards. Once inside, the bank took my breath away. I didn't even mind the five minute wait there was so much to see.

Once the family in front of me was done, I stepped up to the window and waited for the Goblin to finish writing in his ledger.

"Hmm, patient, for a human," he sneered as he looked up, "How may I help you today?"

"I understand that my family was rather wealthy," I said without beating around the bush, "I was raised by my non-magical family for most of my life and have only found out about my magic today. I would like to enquire into my family's assets."

"Name?" said the Goblin.

"Harry Potter."

The Goblins head snapped up and he glared at me. He slowly put down his pen and took a deep breath.

"Do you know how many people have come in here claiming to be Harry Potter?" he asked with an air of forced calmness, "Most who come claiming that attempt to show the scar as proof. Are you going to shove that in my face as well?"

I blinked. That was one of the things that set me apart from the normal Harry. I didn't actually have the scar, mainly because I destroyed the chunk of Soul before it could latch onto me, although I did have a VERY faint mark on my head.

"What scar?" I asked.

The Goblin narrowed his eyes and looked me up and down.

"Hmm, interesting," he muttered, "Very well, lets see if you truly are Potter. Come with me, Client."

The Goblin paused, apparently waiting for something.

"Alright, lead the way Master...Grindclaw," I said with a quick glance at the nameplate on his desk.

Grindclaw nodded and led the way into a network of winding tunnels that I quickly became hopelessly lost in. Eventually, we reached a door with the name POTTER on the brass plaque screwed to the door.

"Place your hand on the nob," said Grindclaw, "If you are a Potter, it will let you in. If not…"

He gave a nasty grin but didn't elaborate. I gulped, but did as I was told. I winced as I felt something pierce my finger, drawing blood, before the plaque glowed and the door unlocked with a click. Grindclaws long eyebrows shot up so quickly I'm surprised they didn't go shooting off into orbit. Apparently he hadn't believed that I was indeed the genuine article. Still, he didn't say anything and instead led me inside the room where he took a seat behind the desk and opened the file that rested on the desk.

"So, I take it that I do have money?" I asked as I sat down across from him.

"Oh yes, and lots of it," said Grindclaw, "Your Trust Vault contains a total of 2000 gallons and is refilled yearly from the Main family Vault. I am afraid that I cannot give you any details on that until you come of age."

I nodded.

"Fair enough," I said, "How do I access my money?"

"You will need your Vault Key," said Grindclaw, "However, judging from what you said earlier, it is not in your possession, correct?"

I nodded.

"Correct."

"Hmm, in that case, we will have to make you a new one and change the locks on your Vaults," said the Goblin, "I'm sure you understand the security measure."

I nodded.

"Of course," I said, "May I ask if this will cost me anything?"

Grindclaw shook his head.

"Not this time as you could not possibly have been aware of your Keys location. However, any future updates will come with a cost of 50 Galleons, so please keep your key safe."

Well that was a nice surprise. Grindclaw scribbled something on a piece of parchment and dropped it into a slit in the desk.

"There, we shall have your key ready for you by the time we get back to the main hall," said Grindclaw, "Come along."

The Goblin led me out of the office and back to the main hall where we were met by a smaller, younger looking Goblin who Grindclaw handed me off to and led me down to my Vault. After a ride that had me stumbling around for a few minutes after we arrived, the new Goblin led me over to my Vault door and opened it with a key that he handed to me. After a quick explanation of the conversion system, I filled up a money bag and headed back to the surface, ready to get my shopping done so I could start learning Magic.

 **And done. Hmm, I wonder what it was that Lily implanted into Harry? Should be interesting, no?**

 **The Dursleys fate was based on DZ2's Harry Potter and the Return of Firestorm story. I thought it was cool and rather ironic, so I went with that.**

 **I couldn't find any information on Tom's blood status, so I decided that I might as well have him as a Muggleborn from a slightly battered home.**

 **And I think thats everything. Please leave a review on your way out!**


	2. Chapter 2

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 2

After the bank, my first stop was the post office where I sent my reply back to Hogwarts, followed by the Trunk shop where I bought a multi-compartment trunk, an auto-shrinking charm and a featherlight charm to carry the huge amount of shit I was no doubt going to pick up. I also shelled out for an enchanted bookbag with similar enchantments. After that, I headed off to pick up stationary, potions supplies and a copper cauldron as the pewter ones still contained lead and I really didn't want to risk contamination. I also went to pick up a telescope and was pleasantly surprised to find that the shop sold Muggle style telescope in addition to the traditional ones. The shopkeeper told me that Muggleborns who knew there stuff tended to buy the former and Purebloods tended to buy the latter, although they were basically the same.

In the bookshop I bought the all the books on my list, along with some supplementary reading, including the basic books on Runes, a few extra texts on potions, all of the Standard Book of Spells series and a very interesting looking book on magical weapons through the ages, along with a copy of the Tales of Beedle the Bard. With that done my next stop was to get my robes where I was sorted out without to much trouble as it was a rather slow day for the tailor before heading out to my penultimate stop, Ollivanders.

* * *

The shop was small and dusty, but I could feel the magic in the air singing against my skin.

"Good afternoon," said a soft voice. From right behind me.

I nearly jumped a foot in the air and spun around to see Ollivander stood behind me with an amused twinkle in his eye, along with...something else.

"Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter."

It wasn't a question. I shivered as the old man scanned me with his luminous eyes, apparently searching for something. Whatever it was and if he found it or not, I have no idea.

"You have your mother's eyes," he said, "It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work."

Mr. Ollivander moved closer to me, staring right into my eyes as he spoke.

"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favored it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."

Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and I were almost nose to nose. I could see myself reflected in those misty eyes and I could smell his breath. Apparently he had eaten pickles recently. The odd and strangely normal scent served as excellent grounding for the strangeness of this encounter.

"So, she succeeded," murmured Ollivander, "I knew the theory of course, but I never would have imagined that she would actually…"

"Um, pardon me sir, but what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Oh, it doesn't matter right now Harry," said Ollivander, "You will find out eventually. For now, lets see about getting you your wand. What is your dominant hand?"

"My right," I said.

"Hold out your arm. That's it."

He measured me from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. As he measured, he said:

"Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand."

I suddenly realized that the tape measure, which was measuring between my nostrils, was doing this on its own. I mean, I was sort of expecting it, but it was still pretty weird. Mr. Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes.

"That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor, "Right then, Mr. Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. Just take it and give it a wave."

I did as I was told and the desk burst into flame.

"Ah, I think not," said Ollivander as he put out the fire, "Next we have…"

What followed was pretty much what you'd expect, with random stuff happening every time I flicked the wand I was handed, ranging from floods to fires to turning the spindle chair into a snake that Ollivander promptly vanished until finally…

"Holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."

I felt my heartbeat speed up as Harrys wand was revealed and handed to me. I took it, eager to see what would happen when…

THPPPPPPP.

I blinked as the wand let out a sound like a deflating balloon and literally went limp in my fingers.

"My, I've never seen such an impotent reaction," said Ollivander, taking the wand off me that immediately snapped back to rigidity.

"Was that a dick joke?" I asked.

I was ignored as Ollivander went back into the stacks and returned with another wand.

"How about this, Silver Lime with a Dragon heartstring core, 11 inches, slightly springy."

I took the wand and felt something snap into place as the wand began to glow with a golden light. At the same time, I felt my back tingle and warm slightly.

"Very impressive my boy," said Ollivander as he cleaned up with a wave of his wand, "I must admit that I was expecting that Holly and phoenix feather to resonate with you, but I suppose that I should have known better. One cannot predict what wand another will have after all. Best of luck to you in the future Mr Potter, I think that you will need it."

I nodded and payed the creepy old man before hurrying away from the shop as quickly as I could without seeming rude.

* * *

My last planned stop of the day was the Magical Menagerie to find a pet. Now, no offence to Hedwig, she was an awesome character and all that, but I was actually much more interested in getting a cat. Sure owls were useful and everything, but I'd always loved cats and much prefered the idea of having a pet that could curl up next to you. Besides, cats are AWESOME and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Of course, Harry Potter doesn't do anything normal and I was no different.

The second I stepped through the door, something small and black came streaking out of the back of the shop and clawed its way up my body to sit on my shoulder, hissing at the slightly plump man who came puffing out of the back after it. I blinked and took a look at my new passenger. It was a small, black cat with big, green eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I'll just take that cat and…"

He reached for the cat, only to yank his hand back as it swiped at him with its claws and hissed. I chuckled and rubbed its head, making it purr and rub its head against my fingers.

"Aw, don't worry about it," I said, "I think she likes me."

The shopkeeper gaped at me.

"B-but shes bitten everyone else who tried to touch her!" he protested, "She won't even let me touch her!"

"Guess that makes me special," I said, "So, how much?"

"Just...just take her," said the shopkeeper, "Shes such a menace I don't think I'll be able to sell her to anyone else"

He still charged me for the cat care supplies though, although I guess that was to be expected.

* * *

With my shopping now done for the day, I headed back to the Leaky Cauldron. As I entered, Tom glanced up and nodded, tossing me a key.

"Room 16," he said, "The menus in the room, as are breakfast times."

"Thanks," I said.

Tom nodded and smiled slightly as he turned back to polishing the glasses. I headed upstairs, found my room and immediately dove into my trunk to start devouring the books at a pace that would have made Hermione tell me to slow down a bit. I even made use of the fact I was in a high magic location and tried a number of spells, resulting in a number of explosions and botched Transfigurations that made me believe Tom made a point of enchanting the rooms against this very thing. Either that or he had some very efficient House Elves as most of the damage I inadvertently caused was gone the next morning.

Considering all the stuff I was doing, it was no surprise that the remainder of the summer flew by. I didn't spend all my time in my room, but I made it a point to duck out of sight whenever I saw Hagrid or Mcgonagall come through. I had managed to fly under the radar so far and I really wanted to keep my anonymity a little longer.

* * *

Anyway, the last day of the holidays rolled around and, after one last check for anything I'd forgot to pack, I scooped up my cat, who I had named Kuroka, and caught a cab to Kings Cross. I drew some odd looks as I made my way through the station, mainly due to the cat on my shoulder and my lack of obvious luggage. I had my shrunken trunk in my pocket thanks to the built in Shrinking charm. Anyway, despite the odd looks, I made it to the Barrier without incident and, after a quick glance around, stepped through onto the platform. I ghosted through the crowded platform, inwardly relishing the fact that I was still unknown. Exactly why that was I wasn't entirely sure since I was basically Harry Potter, even if I did lack the scar and glasses. Apparently I'd inherited more than just my eye colour from my Mum and my version was perfect.

Considering it was still relatively early, it didn't take me long to find an empty compartment. I enlarged my trunk and pulled out a few books for the journey. Among them was an absolute jewel of a find I'd discovered in one of the thrift stores off the main Diagon Alley during one of my excursions out when I needed a break. It was a very old book, bound in fabric and written in a combination of old style Chinese characters and Kanji that contained details of a magical martial art practiced by a sect of Magical Buddhist Monks. How in the world it got into a second hand shop in the UK is anyones guess, but since the shopkeeper had no idea what it actually was, I got it for three knuts. I couldn't read the Chinese part, but I could read Kanji (yay for being a nerd last time through!) and that part of the book contained details on techniques that had me drooling. I'd pretty much mastered using magic to enhance my physical abilities, but the book also contained details on using ones magic to create pulses of force and even platforms under ones feet so you can literally run on air. Obviously, with the lack of places to actually try the techniques, not to mention the fact that they were incredibly hard skills to learn, I had only really read up on the theory behind them and done some of the less...overtly destructive exercises.

* * *

I was so engrossed in the book (admittedly mostly trying to decipher the archaic style of Kanji more than anything) that I hardly noticed the train start to move and the sudden sound of the door opening made me jump, much to Kuroka's annoyance. I looked up and narrowed my eyes slightly when I saw Ron stood there looking a tad uncomfortable. Now, I admit that I did not like Rons character last time through, although that may have been the result of too many fanfics. However, I had decided over the summer that it would be unfair of me to judge everyone I met on what I knew from my last life. I fully intended to give everyone a chance. Even *shudder* Malfoy.

"Um, do you mind?" said Ron, "Everywhere else is full."

I was tempted to call bullshit, but quickly reminded myself of my promise to take everyone as their own person and not a bundle of cliches.

"Sure, have a seat," I said.

"Thanks," said Ron and sat down across from me, "I'm Ron by the way, Ron Weasley."

"Harry Potter," I said.

Ron let out a gasp and immediately started raking my forehead. I had picked up a habit of wearing my hair pushed back with a headband after getting supremely annoyed by my uncontrollable fringe constantly getting in my eyes, meaning that my forehead was on full display. It also made me very glad that my scar was just that, a thin white line that was almost impossible to see under normal circumstances. After a moment, Ron scowled.

"Lire," he growled, "You can't be Harry Potter. You don't have the scar!"

"What scar?" I asked, "Oh, you mean that stupid lightning bolt thing from those stupid books? Yeah, never had it. I don't need glasses either."

I indicated to my glassesless eyes. Ron looked stupefied.

"B-but…"

"You really shouldn't take things you read in story books seriously," I said, "Seriously, do you honestly believe that I could have defeated a horde of mummys when I was only three? Thats just stupid."

Ron seemed to accept that and settled in with a grumble as I switched from the Martial Arts book to a book on Occlumency. I'd found it in the bargain bin, although why it was in there I have no idea considering how useful the whole thing was. Then again, it was written by an American Muggleborn and was about a newer form of Occlumency that basically allowed you to turn your mind into a computer, so that might have something to do with it. Bloody idiot Purebloods. Unfortunately, while it was undoubtedly useful, it was also incredibly difficult to pull off, hence why I had barely scratched the surface of what this form of Occlumency was capable of. Fortunately, I had managed to create some basic defences that would keep out, or at least deter passive scans.

Unfortunately, while I was trying to concentrate on mastering the best method of defending my mind, Ron was already being a pest.

"Come on Harry, quit reading and lets do something interesting!" he wined.

I sighed looked up from my book.

"Ron, unlike you, I grew up around Muggles," I said, "I want to familiarize myself with the Wizarding World so I don't accidentally insult someone or get pulled head first into a situation I don't want to be in."

Ron scoffed.

"Come on Mate, your Harry Potter," he said, "You don't need to worry about that sort of thing."

I blinked a few times.

"What does my name have to do with having the knowhow to avoid pissing people off?" I asked.

"You're the Boy-who-lived of course!" said Ron, "The only people who'd get pissed off at you are slimy snakes and they aren't worth knowing anyway."

I rolled my eyes. Great, thats all I need, a Ron who is more interested in labels than people. Fucking moron. I went back to my book, ignoring the redhead as he tried to get my attention again while my other hand petted Kuroka in my lap.

When the cart rolled around at lunchtime, I bought some food (thankfully, it didn't just contain sweets and she actually had a decent selection of sandwiches) and settled in to eat my lunch with a moody looking Ron eating his corned beef sandwiches and eyeing the small pile of chocolate goods on the seat next to me. I'm not particularly keen on 'chewy' sweets, but I could never get enough chocolate.

"You can have some if you want," I said, trying to make a peace offering.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't see me becoming friends with Ron, but that didn't mean I wanted to me antagonistic. Yet. Ron immediately brightened and snatched a good portion of the pile. My eye twitched, but I kept my mouth shut. I'd probably bought a tad to much anyway.

"Thanks mate," said Ron as he took a big bite out of a cauldron cake, "Dunno why you wasted your money on sandwiches though."

"Eating nothing but sweets is bad for you," I drawled, "Besides, these chicken sandwiches are delicious."

We fell into an easy conversation to pass the time, talking about familys (that was mostly Ron), Quidditch and Chocolate frog cards after I opened my first one and managed to catch the frog on my first try. I glanced at the card, expecting Dumbledore, but instead I was greeted by the sight of a feminine looking fellow with long, pale hair and blue eyes.

"Huh, you got Aleister Crowley," said Ron, "Thats pretty rare."

Cureous, I flipped the card over.

Aleister Crowley

Considered by some to be one of the greatest Wizards of our age, Aleister Crowley was one of the great pioneers of Magic. It is said that he himself taught Dumbledore many things before his disappearance. He is credited with the creation of many legendary artifacts, including multiple Grimoire and a wand so powerful that it rivals the legendary Death Stick. His current location is unknown, but it is widely believed that he is still alive.

I blinked a few times. That all sounded...oddly familiar, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

"I've got Morgana again and I've got about six of her," said Ron, "Do you want it? You can start collecting."

"No thanks," I said, "I think I'll keep this though. Something tells me I'll need it…"

With lunch done, I returned to my stack of books, much to Rons displeasure, although he had the decency to keep his gob shut.

The countryside now flying past the window was becoming wilder. The neat fields had gone. Now there were woods, twisting rivers, and dark green hills. It was around this point when a knock on the door drew me from my book as a tearful looking Neville stuck his head in.

"Sorry," he said, "but have you seen a toad at all?"

"No, sorry," I said, "But if you've lost one, you could ask one of the upper years to summon him for you."

Neville looked surprised, but nodded and vanished, no doubt to do just that.

"Don't know why he's so bothered," said Ron. "If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk."

I stifled the urge to glare at the rat snoozing on Ron's lap.

"He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," said Ron in disgust, "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look."

He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end.

"Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway —"

He had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again to reveal Hermione. She looked pretty much as I imagined, with bush hair, slightly large teeth and a cute splash of freckles across her nose.

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said.

"I already suggested that he ask an upper year to summon him," I said.

Hermione didn't seem to be listening and was instead focused on the wand in Rons hand.

"Oh, are you doing magic?" she asked, "Let's see it, then."

She sat down. Ron looked taken aback.

"Er — all right."

He cleared his throat.

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

Nothing happened.

"Here, try this," I said, flicking my wand at the rat and turning him bright pink, "Colour Changing Charm, Standard Book of Spells, Grade 3."

The last bit was for Hermione's benefit.

"I bought the whole set in Diagon alley."

Ron gave me a look that said he thought I was barmy while Hermione looked mildly surprised that I actually gave enough of a damn about my education to read ahead.

"Did you really?" she asked, "I bought some extra books for reading as well and I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard. I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough. I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?"

She said all this very fast and even I had a bit of trouble keeping up.

"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered.

"Harry Potter," I said.

"Are you really?" said Hermione. "I know all about you, of course. I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."

"I read them too," I said, "And its all complete bullshit."

Hermione looked scandalized.

"Well how else are you supposed to take the idea of a five year old facing down a dragon without a wand?" I said before Hermione could respond.

The girl shut her mouth with a click and looked thoughtful.

"Thats...actually a good point," she said.

"First rule of reserch, take everything you read with a grain of salt," I said, "History is written by the victor, so its often a good idea to check with multiple sources before jumping to conclusions."

"I suppose thats a good point," said Hermione, although she didn't look happy about it, "Do either of you know what House you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad. . . . Anyway, I'd better go see if Nevilles found his toad yet. You two had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon."

She left the compartment.

"Whatever House I'm in, I hope she's not in it," said Ron.

"Aww, shes not that bad," I said.

"Are you mental?" asked Ron, "Bloody know-it-all'll be a nightmare."

I rolled my eyes and stood to extract my robes so I could change and took the opportunity to grab some more books as my stack was getting a little low.

* * *

About an hour later, the door opened again and Malfoy, Crabb and Goyle walked in. The second they did, I knew we wouldn't be getting on. At all.

"Is it true?" he said, "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?"

"Thats me," I said, eyeing the trio and wondering if these idiots were worth the time it took to tell them to shove off.

"Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," said Malfoy carelessly as he noticed where I was looking, "And my names Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."

Ron gave a slight cough, which might have been hiding a snigger. Malfoy looked at him and sneered.

"Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford."

He turned back to me.

"You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."

He held out his hand to shake mine, but I ignored it.

"If some Wizarding Familys are better than others, why in the world would I make friends with one who's name means 'Bad Faith'?" I drawled.

Malfoy went purple.

"As I understand it, old family names usually had a reason for coming into being, correct?" I continued, "So, what did your family do to get labeled as being bad faith?"

"I'd be careful if I were you, Potter," he said slowly. "Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents. They didn't know what was good for them, either…"

He was cut off by a loud hiss as Kuroka stood up on my lap and bared her teeth at the blond, arching her back and hissing. I placed a hand on her back to calm her down.

"You should leave," I said.

My voice was calm, but anyone with a brain would have been able to hear the warning in it. Malfoy apparently lacked a brain as he sneered and stayed put.

"But we don't feel like leaving, do we, boys?" he said, "We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some."

Goyle reached toward the Chocolate Frogs next to me. Before he could reach it however, I caught his wrist in a vice like grip. The big bo's face quickly turned white as I squeezed, increasing my strength with my Magic until the bones creaked ominously.

"Unless you want a broken wrist, I strongly suggest that you get lost," I said, "Now."

I released Goyles wrist and shoved him, sending him stumbling back into Malfoy and causing all three morons to fall to the floor in a tangled heap. They quickly untangled themselves and ran down the hall with as much dignity as they could muster.

"That was bloody brilliant," said Ron.

"Thank you for that assessment Ron," I said, "But how about you get changed? We'll be arriving soon."

I was proven correct as the intercom crackled to life and the driver informing us that we would be arriving in five minutes. I started packing away my books and the remainder of my sweets as Ron started changing. Before long, we were pulling into the station and I was raring to go and get started. This was gonna be fun!

 **And done. A tad longer than normal, but I wanted to get to Hogwarts swiftly, mainly because I want to get onto the more interesting part of the story quickly. I wonder if anyone can guess what I have planned considering the card he got? And no, that wasn't an arbitrary change.**

 **On a side note, Harrys wand in this story is a very slightly altered version of the one that I would apparently have according to Pottermore. He'll also have my Patronus.**

 **Harry and Ron will NOT be friends in this story. Harry just couldn't be arsed to kick him out since he didn't really do anything that bad, other than be a tad annoying.**

 **Just to be clear, Harry does actually have the scar, its just that its not got the Soul fragment inside, so its largely healed. It looks like any other 10 year old scar would, almost unnoticeable.**

 **And with that, I'm done. Please leave a review on the way out!**


	3. Chapter 3

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

The train slowed right down and finally stopped. People pushed their way toward the door and out onto a tiny, dark platform, shivering in the cold night air. I was more interested in surprising the urge to smack Ron over the head after he had stolen some of my few remaining Cauldron Cakes that I had become slightly addicted to. Fortunately, the arrival of Hagrid distracted me from my annoyance as a lamp came bobbing over the heads of the students

"Firs' years! Firs' years over here!"

Hagrid's big hairy face beamed over the sea of heads, his eyes scanning the gathering of shivering shrimps before him.

"C'mon, follow me," he said, "Any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!"

Slipping and stumbling, we followed Hagrid down what seemed to be a steep, narrow path. Honestly, it wasn't to bad though, no worse than some of the paths around where I grew up the first time through. It was pitch black though, so that made keeping ones footing a tad hard. Nobody spoke much, being more interested in not slipping over. Neville, the boy who kept losing his toad, sniffed once or twice.

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," Hagrid called over his shoulder, "jus' round this bend here."

There was a loud "Oooooh!" and I can honestly admit that I was among them. Seeing Hogwarts for the first time in person was, pardon the pun, magical. It truly did look like the sort of place that magic was made. Hagrid gave us a couple of moments to take in the gorgeous sight before shepherding us into the boats at the waters edge. I ended up in one with Ron, Neville and Hermione. Once we reached the other side, Hagrid lead us up a long flight of stone steps to where Professor Mcgonagall was waiting for us.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid, indicating to us with a huge wave of a hand.

"Thank you, Hagrid, I will take them from here," said the Transfiguration Teacher, before turning to us, "Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your Houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your House, sleep in your House dormitory, and spend free time in your House common room.

The four Houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each House has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your House points, while any rule breaking will lose House points. At the end of the year, the House with the most points is awarded the House cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever House becomes yours.

The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose, before turning and vanishing into the Great Hall, leaving us to talk amongst ourselves. The inevitable topic was what exactly the Sorting Ceremony entailed, with theories ranging from tests to wrestling a troll. That comment drew a snort from me.

"What?" asked Ron.

"Sorry, it's just that I think your brothers might have been having you on," I said, "A troll could easily smush just about anyone in this school into paste with a single strike, with the possible exception of Hagrid. Oh, and I doubt it will be a test either since we haven't actually learnt anything yet."

That was for Hermione's benefit, who looked like she was about to start hyperventilating.

"So what do you think it'll be Harry?" asked Ron.

"Hmm, probably a simple test where you have to wear an enchanted item that reads your personality to determine where you'd best fit," I said, "Most likely a hat of some sort."

"Oh? And what makes you say that?" asked Hermione.

I shrugged.

"It makes the most sense," I said, "Not everyone is studious enough to have read everything like you and I and they wouldn't put us in danger. To me, the best way of sorting us based on personality traits is to perform a personality test and what better way than with an enchanted object?"

"A logical deduction."

I turned to the source of the voice and blinked a few times at the sight. Stood slightly apart from the group was a pair of girls that made me do an epic double take. One of them was unusually tall for an eleven year old, while the other was shorter than me, which was saying something as I was probably one of the shortest in the year. The tall one had long, ash blond hair, flat, green eyes and an equally flat face that seemed to show no emotion. The other girl also had long, blond hair, but hers was a golden blond and her eyes were blue and shining with amusement. She was smirking slightly, but it wasn't a particularly nice smirk.

"It seems I may have underestimated you Mr Potter," said the shorter girl, "I thought you'd be nothing more than another brainless sheep following the herd. I'm pleasantly surprised."

I blinked a few times as I tried to decide whether I should be insulted or not.

"And you are?" I asked.

The girl smirked.

"Daphne Greengrass," she said, "And this is Tracy Davis."

"A pleasure to meet you," said Tracy with a slight bow.

I blinked a few times then suppressed the urge to say something really stupid. No such luck from Ron unfortunately.

"No one asked you," he sneered, "Why don't you get lost. Harry doesn't want to talk to slimy snakes like you."

My eye twitched.

"I'd ask that you don't put words in my mouth," I growled.

"Wha..? But Harry mate, surely you don't want to talk to slimy snakes like these," said Ron.

"First of all, snakes aren't slimy," I said, "Second, I prefer to get to know people as individuals, not as labels given by someone else."

"But Harry…"

I fixed him with a glare and cracked my knuckles. Ron apparently had a few braincells to spare and shut his gob. Although that might have something to do with the ghosts that had just floated through the wall.

"Forgive and forget, I say," said one that looked like a fat little monk, "We ought to give him a second chance..."

"My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost — I say, what are you all doing here?"

A ghost wearing a ruff and tights had suddenly noticed us staring at them with expressions ranging from fear to interest. However, before anyone could answer, one of the ghosts spotted me and gave a little gasp.

"Oh my," she said as she drifted closer, "Aren't you an interesting one...Hmm, yes, very interesting indeed."

I blinked.

"Pardon me madam but, what's interesting?" I asked, "I'm just a normal 1st year."

The Ghost looked me up and down and raised a spectral eyebrow.

"No, I don't think you are," she said, "There's something different about you. I'm not sure what it is, but there's an air about you I have not felt since I was alive…"

She eyed me for a moment longer, but before she could say anything else, Mcgonagall returned and shewed the ghosts away

"We're ready for you now," she said.

She lead us through the doors and into the Great Hall which, I have to admit, took my breath away, despite the fact I knew what to expect. As with the first view of Hogwarts, there was just something about the magnificent room that simply could not be replicated by Hollywood.

It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables where the rest of the students were sitting, tables laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting in front of the four massive hourglasses that served to count the house points. Professor McGonagall led us straight up towards the head of the hall, in full view of everyone else, hundreds of faces staring at us, shining like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, we reached the head of the room where the Sorting Hat sat on the four-legged stool, looking just as frayed and dirty as I was expecting. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched and a rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth and the hat began to sing.

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song and bowed to each of the four tables and then became still again.

"Told you," I muttered, earning myself a glare from Ron.

Professor McGonagall stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Abbott, Hannah!"

A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. Their was a moment's pause, before...

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.

The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.

"Bones, Susan!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled offto sit next to Hannah.

"Boot, Terry!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them. The Sorting continued in this vein, with Daphne and Tracey ending up in Slytherin and Hermione going to Gryffindor, as expected, drawing a groan from Ron, before he went back to searching desperately for Holly. The hat took a long time to decide with Neville. When it finally shouted:

"GRYFFINDOR."

Neville ran off still wearing it, and had to jog back amid gales of laughter to give it to "MacDougal, Morag." Malfoy swaggered forward when his name was called and got his wish at once: the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!"

Then, at last...

"Potter, Harry!"

I stepped forward, ignoring the whispers that suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.

"Potter, did she say?"

"The Harry Potter?"

The last thing I saw before the hat dropped over my eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at me. Next second I was looking at the black inside of the hat. For a moment there was silence. Then…

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

That was shouted out to the entire hall if the muttered reactions were anything to go by.

" _Found something interesting?"_ I thought.

"I...what...how…?"

" _Not a clue,"_ I said, _"But if you tell anyone…"_

The hat shivered on my head as he picked up on what I had in mind for him.

 _"Oh don't worry Mr...Potter I suppose since thats who you are now, I am bound to keep any secrets I find in a student's mind. Hmm, this is fascinating and rather horrifying stuff. I assume you intend to do what you can to avert some of these disasters?"_

I snorted.

" _That'll depend entirely on the sheeple,"_ I said, _"If they annoy me to much I'll leave them to their fate and bugger off to Japan or something."_

" _Albus won't like that,"_ said the Hat.

" _He can suck a fat one,"_ I said, _"I could care less what that crusty old man wants. If he wants Riddle dealt with, he can damn well do it himself."_

The Hat chuckled.

" _I have a feeling that you're going to do a real number on the status quo,"_ it said, _"Now, lets get you sorted. Considering your attitude, Hufflepuff is right out. You're smart enough for Ravenclaw, although how much is actual intelligence and how much is from two runs through life is up for debate. You have the cunning and ambition for Slytherin, but I get the distinct impression that if I put you there you'll have killed Mr Malfoy before the weeks out. Plus, you're more likely to take any plans you have and use them as a battering ram to beat down whoever gets in your way...this mind actually reminds me a lot of a young woman who came through many years ago...Ah, but thats a story for another time. I think you'd be best suited for…"_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

I ignored the cheers from the red table as I took of the Hat and headed over to join my table. I absently returned Percy's handshake as I sat down across from Hermione and glanced up at the Head table. As I did, I met Dumbledores eyes and immediately felt a slight pressure on my fledgling Occlumency shields. Before I could break eye contact, Dumbledore jerked slightly and looked away, rubbing his eyes. I blinked. I didn't have anything in place that could get that kind of reaction. I shrugged off the curiosity for now in favor of dinner. I could deal with Dumbledores apparent inability to read my mind later. Right now I was more interested in filling my belly.

Conversation was light as we ate and I made it a point to turn the conversation away whenever it looked like it was going to turn to me and made it a double point to avoid looking at Ron who's table manners were atrocious.

Eventually, the food faded away and Dumbledore stood to do his announcements. Don't go in the Forbidden Forest, no magic in the halls, certain death, etc, before having us sing the school song. I did to the tune of Still Alive. No idea why, it just seemed appropriate. With the torture to our eardrums done, we were sent off to bed like good little children. Still, my bed was warm and comfortable and the hangings had built in silencing charms to deal with Rons snoring, so I couldn't complain. Besides, tomorrow would begin my magical education. I can hardly wait!

 **And done. Man, that was a quick chapter. Then again, I did take chunks from the book and my past HP story, so maybe I can't take all the credit…**

 **So, Harry's met Daphne and Tracy who have more than a little in common design wise with a certain vampire and robot duo. I'm going to be making a couple of jokes with that.**

 **I know some people might be disappointed that I stuck Harry in Gryffindor, but considering what I have in mind for his personality, it fits.**

 **Ron makes a fool of himself. Nothing new there.**

 **And with that, I'm gonna sign out. Next time will include a blatantly obvious clue to what I have in mind in the future. This is gonna be fun! Until then, leave me a review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 4

The next day dawned bright and early with me being up and about before anyone else so I could go for a run and run through some Kata's before breakfast. I also took the book on Magical Martial Arts so I could try some of them out now I had a wide open space to work with. It...didn't go well is all I'm willing to say about that kerfuffle. Still, the idea of being able to walk on air was an extremely attractive one, so I'd be keeping it up. Once I was done with my morning workout, I headed back upstairs to get washed and dressed, just as the rest of my roommates were starting to wake up. I think Neville was the only one who noticed I was wide awake and sweaty as everyone else looked like Zombies. I was done before any of them and headed back down, just as Ron was starting to stir. Lazy idiot.

* * *

When I arrived in the Great hall, I was one of the first to do so, only being beaten by a few upper year Ravenclaws and Slytherins who looked like they were studying already. Christ, even I wasn't that studious! Anyway, as soon as I sat down, a decent selection of breakfast goods appeared in front of me and I was soon tucking into a plate of bacon butties with a cup of strong tea as I read through my Transfiguration text. It was like this that Mcgonigal found me and handed me my timetable, pausing only to nod in approval at my chose of literature.

As I worked my way through my breakfast and book, the room began to fill up. Then, at eight o'clock, the post arrived. Considering that it was the first day, there wasn't much, mostly just things students had forgotten or letters from the parents of first years to make sure their kids were OK. Thats why I was quite surprised when a barn owl swooped down and landed in front of me with a letter in its beak. I took it and gave the bird a bit of bacon as I looked at the letter. The postmark was Japanese and that told me exactly who it was. A few years ago, my primary school had made an arrangement with a Japanese school to attempt to convince the students to get to know foregen kids and learn another language. Why they chose a Japanese school I have no idea, but we were all assigned a penpal. Most kids stopped writing as soon as they were able, but a few maintained the connection, myself included. My penpal was a cheerful and very friendly girl who I simply couldn't not like, not that I had any problems with doing so. It was nice to have someone I could practice my Japanese with after all. I do admit, I was half expecting to lose contact with her now I was at Hogwarts, but it was nice to see that wasn't the case.

I eagerly opened the letter and pulled it out. As was standard, it was in English since this was originally a scheme meant to improve the students English.

 _Hey Harry,_

 _Sorry I haven't written in a while, but things have been hectic. Between cram school, test and the exams needed to get into Middle School, I haven't had chance to breath, let alone write. Still, its not all bad. I made a new friend whos going to be going to the same school as me. Her names Uiharu Kazari and shes the most adorable girl I've ever met. Our first meeting wasn't exactly...great considering I accidentally flipped her skirt up, but she didn't hold it against me and now we're the best of friends! I enclosed a photo of us._

I stopped reading. That...sounded oddly familiar but for the life of me I couldn't think of why. After a moment, I shrugged and went back to the letter.

 _So whats new with you? I'm still Level Zero and have basically been told that I'm officially incompetent. Not exactly something you want to hear from your teacher. Still, maybe you could help. I just don't get what the teachers mean by Personal Reality. Think you could explain it better than them?_

 _Anyway, I'd better go. I can't wait to hear from you again!_

 _From_

 _Ruiko Saten._

I upended the letter and, sure enough, a photo fell out that showed two girls with their arms around each other, smiling for the camera. They were a little younger than me and actually looked pretty much opposites in terms of personality. One was grinning widely and had long, black hair with a small flower clip in her hair and blue eyes, while the other girl had a smaller smile, short black hair with a flower covered headband, slightly thick eyebrows and golden brown eyes. Both girls were wearing the same Sailor Fuku uniform. When I saw them, I started cussing up a storm in Japanese. Now I remember why the names Uiharu Kazari and Ruiko Saten sounded familiar, along with some of the terms Saten had used over the years! Actually, the better question was, how the FUCK did I miss it when it was staring me in the face?! The school Saten attended was in Academy City, Japan, a city that was at least 20 years ahead of the rest of the world in terms of technology and was the unknown domain of a Certain Famous Magician whos Chocolate Frog card I had in my pocket. Not getting it? Alright, the city was also home to a Certain walking bug zapper, a Certain man with the enough bad luck that I'd believe he'd broken at least 50 mirrors, a Certain frog faced Doctor and a population of 2.3 million students, many of whom could make Wizards look like chumps. Oh, and lets not forget A Certain teacher who looks like a 10 year old and the boss of the whole place is suspended upside down in a tank.

"Um, Harry? Are you OK?"

I looked up from where I was banging my head on the table to see Neville looking down at me worriedly.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," I said.

"Who's Ruiko Saten?" asked Ron from where he was reading the letter.

"Thats none of your business and thats private," I growled as I snatched the letter back and shoved it into my pocket along with the photo.

"Hey, I was only looking!" protested Ron.

"Its rude to read other people's mail," I snapped

"Sorry," mumbled Ron, although it was clear he didn't mean it, "So who…"

I ignored him as I headed up to the Staff Table. I needed to talk to Mcgonagall about sending a letter back to Saten that didn't involve sending an owl. Not only was it a bloody long way to Japan, but even in a city as weird as Acadamy City, an owl turning up with a letter was not something that could just be brushed off.

"Can I help you Mr Potter?" asked Mcgonagall as I approached.

"Yes, I have a penpal who's a Muggle and doesn't know about the Magical world," I said, "I don't really want to lose contact with her, so I was wondering if there was a way I could post letters without it being obvious that somethings going on."

Mcgonagall looked a bit surprised, but nodded.

"Of course," she said, "Theres a letterbox on the wall of the Owlery. If you write and address your letters like normal and put them in there, the letters inside are sent to a Muggle post office to be sent out."

I nodded.

"Thank you Professor," I said and went off to get started on my letter before classes started.

"So, who was the letter from?" asked Daphne as she slid into the seat across from me with Tracy at her shoulder.

The two Slytherin girls got some odd looks from the rest of the table, but completely ignored them.

"I have a penpal in Japan," I said as I rummaged through my bag for some paper that didn't look like it belonged in a museum gift shop, "Considering the distance and how busy we both tend to be, the letters are somewhat sporadic, but we keep in touch."

Daphne opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Ron beat her to the punch. And he wasn't happy.

"WHAT?!" he roared, spraying the person sitting across from him with chewed up food, "You tell that slimy snake and not me?! What's she even doing here anyway? Get lost Snake, we don't what your kind here!"

I pulled out my wand and vanished the sprayed food with a scowl.

"First, say it, don't spray it," I said, "Second, I told her because she asked politely and didn't read my private correspondence and then demanded answers. Finally, I strongly suggest that you learn some manners before you utterly destroy what reputation you have."

I turned away from the moron and back to the smirking Daphne.

"What?"

"Oh, I just get the feeling that you'll really end up rocking the boat," she said.

"That is an understatement," I muttered.

* * *

Thankfully there were no more interruptions from the moron, although he kept muttering under his breath and shooting glares at Tracy and Daphne. I also noticed that Snape and Dumbledore seemed to be eyeing us warily.

I didn't have long to think on that however as classes started soon after. Honestly, there really isn't much to say about them, other than they were pretty much what you'd expect. Binns was so boring that I started bringing my Muggle textbooks to class and working through those. Ever since I'd discovered that this world has Acadamy City in it, I had decided that I'd continue working on my Muggle education, just in case I ever needed to leg it. The Center of Science sounded like an awesome place to go to get away from the Magical Idiots after all, but I'd need to know my shit if I wanted to test into a school there. The obviously Muggle books got me some odd looks, but I don't think anyone realized what I was doing.

I also had Transfiguration and Charms classes where I did a pretty good job with the assigned work. However, despite the praise transfiguring the matchstick into a needle on my first try earned me, I couldn't help but feel that it was almost expected of me. Like, just because my parents were good at those subjects, I was somehow expected to be good at them to. It was an...odd feeling to say the least and not one I particularly cared for.

* * *

Other than that, the only interesting thing that happened was when the first Potions lesson rolled around. I made it a point to sit with Daphne and Tracy and dragged Neville with me, despite his feeble protests.

Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the register, and like Flitwick, he paused at my name.

"Ah, yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new...celebrity."

I rolled my eyes. Frankly, I was more interested in trying to figure out if I should be amused that Snape looked exactly like Alan Rickman or planning a prank involving somehow turning him into the Sherrif of Nottingham for the day or something. I also pointedly ignored Malfoy and his cronies sniggered behind their hands. Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making," he began, "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses. . . . I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

More silence followed this little speech. Beside me, Neville gulped loudly and I could see that Hermione was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead.

"Potter!" said Snape suddenly, making me jump slightly, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"There are a few potions that use those ingredients, but the most obvious is the Draught of Living Death," I said, "Its a sleeping potion so strong that it places the drinker in a state of suspended animation until the antidote is administered. According to legend, its what Merlin gave to Arthur so he'd be able to return when England needs him."

Snape looked surprised at my complete answer, but quickly shook it off and went back to sneering.

"Hmm, perhaps fame is good for something," he said, "Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

"I would hope most Potions sets as it is an excellent general antidote," I said, "However, its source is the stomach of a goat."

Now Snape looked impressed, although he quickly suppressed it behind another sneer.

"So, you actually thought to a book before coming, eh, Potter?" he said, although his sneer now appeared a tad forced, "Very well, lets see if you know this. What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"They are the same plant and are also known as aconite," I said, "It is a highly toxic plant that is especially deadly to Werewolves and is one of the main ingredients to the Wolfsbane potion."

"Correct again," said Snape, "So, I see you did study for this lesson after all. Well, why aren't you writing this down?"

There was a flurry of movement as everyone hurried to obey. With that done, Snape put us into pairs to start on a cure for boils and I immediately found myself with my hands full as I tried to keep Neville from blowing us sky high.

"For gods sake Neville, calm down already!" I said after stopping him from adding another ingredient too early, "We don't need to rush, we've got plenty of time."

"B-but…" protested Neville, shooting Snape a scared look as he swooped around like an oversized bat.

"Neville, if you don't calm down, I'm going to petrify you and finish the potion on my own!" I snapped, finally losing my patience.

Neville whimpered and shut his mouth with a click. I sighed.

"Look, Potions is not that hard," I said, "All you have to do is follow the instructions carefully and, wherever possibly _take your time._ Ignore Snape, ignore Malfoy, ignore everything except your potion. Here, you focus on preparing the ingredients and I'll deal with the cauldron. Thats where the danger is."

Neville nodded and we switched places. Now that there was no risk of an exploding potion, we were able to work far quicker and more efficiently than before and, by the end of the lesson, we had one of the best potions in the class. Potions was nothing more than cooking with strange ingredients and one thing I was good at was cooking, both from the practice in this life and last time through. Quite frankly, how you can fuck up following basic instructions I'll never know, but Weasley somehow managed it, resulting in a loss of points for Gryffindor.

Once the lesson was over, everyone filed out but I held back. Snape glanced up as the door shut and raised an eyebrow as he saw me standing there.

"Can I help you Potter?" he asked with surprisingly little venom.

Maybe I'd made a good impression on him.

"I wanted to ask you if you meant it," I said.

"Meant what?" asked Snape.

"That you regret my mothers death. Did you know my Parents?"

Snape jerked in surprise, evidently having not expected me to catch that. He stared at me for a moment, before he looked down.

"I see I truly did misjudge you," he said, "Yes, I did know your parents at school. Lily and I were friends before I...made a mistake I can never take back. As for your father…"

He trailed off with a scowl.

"You know, I once heard that the best way to find out what a person is truly like is to ask their enemies," I said, "I'm sure if I asked anyone else, all I'd get in response is 'they were good people' and other platitudes. Thats nice and all, but it tells me something between fuck and all about what they were actually like."

Snape snorted.

"Yes, I can imagine that would be the case," he said.

The Potions professor hesitated for a moment.

"If you want to hear some accurate storys about your parents, my door is always open," he said at length.

I shot him a look of surprise. I knew I'd likely made a better first impression and showed him I was less James than he was likely expecting, but I hadn't expected that. After a moment, I smiled and nodded.

"Sure," I said, "It'll be nice to hear some stories about them that don't make them out to be angels."

Snape nodded and shooed me out of the room. As soon as I stepped out of the classroom, Kuroka came streaking out of the shadows and climbed up my to my shoulder with a letter in her mouth.

"Whats that?" I asked as I took the letter from the cat.

 _Dear Harry,_

 _I know you get Friday afternoons off so would you like to come and have a cup of tea with me around three? I want to hear all about your first week._

 _Hagrid._

I glanced at my watch and saw it was ten to three. I glanced at Kuroka.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

The cat just yawned and nuzzled my cheek.

"Wait, why am I asking my cat?" I muttered, "Eh, I got nothing better to do. Lets go talk to the BFG."

I headed up to the first floor and out the doors towards Hagrids hut.

"Where are you going?" said a familiar and hated voice.

I stifled a growl and turned to the red headed pest.

"That is none of your business," I growled, "Now will you please leave me alone?"

I spun around and stalked out the doors, once again suppressing a growl as the pest followed me.

"Aw don't be like that mate," said Ron, "I've been worried about you ya know. You spend all your time studying and You've been hanging out with Slytherins. You can't trust them, bunch of slimy snakes."

"Right, thats it," I growled as I stopped in place and whirled around, "Listen closely you ignoramus. Who I'm friends with and what I do in my spare time is none of your business so kindly keep your nose out before Kuroka bites it off."

The cat gave a nasty grin that showed off her razor sharp teeth.

"But Harry, we're best friends!" said Ron, "I'm just worried about you!"

I stared at him, trying to figure out where in the hell the idiot had got the idea we were friends when I couldn't stand to be around him.

"Ron, we are not friends," I said, "Truth be told, I don't even like you. I find you to be unpleasant, aggravating and to be little more than a pain in the ass. I was perfectly willing to simply ignore you, but since you seem to be fixated on me, I'll tell you straight out. Leave me alone or else you'll find out exactly what I've learnt in my reading."

I turned on my heel and marched away in the direction of Hagrids hut. Hopefully that would get Weasley off my case.

 **And done. Well, that was certainly a big stick to whack you lot over the head with concerning what I have planned in the future. Incidentally, if you haven't seen it, A Certain Scientific Railgun is an amazing Anime to watch, as is its Magical counterpart.**

 **And Ron got smacked down. It was really only a matter of time before Harry gave him a good verbal smackdown. He even made up with Snape by picking up on the whole language of flowers thing.**

 **He's also experiencing the first indications of the whole 'of course hes good at that hes *insert reason here*' thing that will NOT endear him to his classmates or teachers.**

 **And with that I'm signing out. Don't forget to leave a review on the way out!**


	5. Chapter 5

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 5

Tea with Hagrid went pretty much as I expected, with horrible cooking, singing Dumbledore's praises, a few interesting stories about my parents and the newspaper cutting that was probably meant to get my attention. Other than that, theres not really anything else to add, other than the fact that Hagrid made a really nice cuppa. I actually got him to give me some of the leaves so I could make some myself later.

* * *

Anyway, now I'd permanently given Ron the boot, the idiot had taken to glaring at me across the table/common room/classroom whenever he could and muttering under his breath about how I was going 'Dark' due to hanging around with Slytherins. Speaking of which, my relationship with Daphne and Tracy was an odd one to say the least. Daphne made it perfectly clear that the only reason she'd even approached me in the first place was because she was intrigued and because I could potentially offer her an advantage in the future. I didn't hold it against her though, thats just how Slytherins worked. Real Slytherins that is.

Speaking of fake ass Slytherins, Malfoy had been surprisingly quiet of late. Oh, he was certainly an annoying little so and so, but he didn't target me personally. Still, it was nice not to have to deal with the annoying little toerag. Maybe he'd taken my warning on the train to heart, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that he wouldn't stay quiet for long. That feeling was only amplified when the notice of the Flying Lessons appeared on the notice boards around school.

The notice triggered a heck of a lot of boasting from just about everyone about their feats on broomsticks, with Draco and Ron being the worst offenders. Unfortunately, Hermione was being a bit of a pain by spewing hints and tips to anyone who would listen. It got so bad that I had to cut in.

"Hermione, enough," I said, cutting through her lecture as I rubbed my temples, "You're not helping anyone with all this."

"I was only trying to help," she said.

"Yeah well, you're not," I said, "You can't learn to fly from a book, just like you can't learn to ride a bike or play a sport. You need to actually do it. The tips can be helpful, but it's better to experience it yourself."

At that moment, a barn owl swooped down and dropped a package in front of Neville. He opened it excitedly and showed them a glass ball the size of a large marble, which seemed to be full of white smoke.

"It's a Remembrall!" he explained when he caught Hermiones look, "Gran knows I forget things. This tells you if there's something you've forgotten to do. Look, you hold it tight like this and if it turns red... oh . . ."

His face fell as the smoke turned red.

". . . you've forgotten something . . ."

"Fat lot of good that is," I muttered, "It might be useful as a study aid to tell you if you've forgotten an answer, but for remembering anything else, its bloody useless."

Fortunately, Neville didn't hear me as he was busy trying to remember what he'd forgotten. I snapped out my hand, stopping Malfoy in his tracks before he could grab the orb from Neville.

"Don't push it," I said.

Malfoy sneered and opened his mouth.

"Well, trying to make a fool of yourself again I see Draco," said Daphne, cutting across whatever the blond idiot was going to say.

Malfoy sneered at her, but turned and his heel and marched away. Now, you might be wondering why he didn't do anything considering how he usually acted in such situations, but in this world the Greengrasses were Old Money. As in, really old. I'd done a bit of research into the old families and found that, while the Potters were old money as well, my family were from Rome originally, as were our traditional allies, the Longbottoms and Prewitt's. The Greengrasses on the other hand were descended from Celtic Druids, meaning that they had far more connection to the Old Magic of the land, not to mention a high social standing in the Wizengamot. The Malfoys on the other hand, while they had money, had only come to England in the last couple of centuries. In other words, if Malfoy made an enemy of Daphne, the heir of the family, he was completely screwed.

"Thanks, I don't really want to deal with that idiot today," I said.

"Not a problem, I enjoy taking fools down a peg or too," said Daphne with a smirk.

"Forgive me Master, but we should go," said Tracy, "Our first lessons will be beginning soon."

"Right, see you later Harry," said Daphne.

Oh yeah, I probably should have mentioned that. See, Tracy and Daphne weren't friends in the typical sense, rather the Davis family served as Retainers for the Greengrasses. I nodded to my sort-of friend and went back to the textbook I was reading. It was one I'd mail ordered from Academy City on the subject of Personal Realities and HOLY SHIT was it complicated! Frankly, I'm not to surprised that Saten couldn't get her head around it and that wasn't a jab at her intelligence. I reckon that even Hermione would have trouble with the theory behind it all! However, that was only the theory, actually putting it into practice was much simpler. All it was was changing your perception of reality to accept that the impossibly was, well, possible. Hell, with my burgeoning Occlumency Skills, it'd probably be easy to create my own. Of course, I was a little leery of doing so since I had no idea how it would interact with my Magic.

For those that might not know, Magic and Science don't tend to mix well and that is definitely true in Magicians and Espers as well to the point that if an Esper trys to use magic, their body literally comes apart at the seams. Then again, the Magic taught at Hogwarts was very different to the stuff used by the Magicians. Ours was based on our internal magic and only certain people born with a Magical Core can use it, while anyone can technically learn the magic used by Magicians. Still, I think I'll hold off on those experiments for now. I did send Saten a book on Occlumency with my last letter though. That might help her learn to meditate and possibly create her Reality, even if she couldn't fully use the discipline as a Muggle.

"Whats that your reading?" asked Hermione, "It looks like a Muggle textbook."

"It is," I said, "I've been trying to keep up my Muggle education as best I can. This one however is a tad different."

Ron scoffed in the background.

"Why would you want to learn Muggle stuff?" he muttered.

"Because its interesting and a lot more useful than anything we'll learn here," I said, "The Muggle world is a lot bigger than the Magical One and I fully intend to make sure I can be self sufficient in both."

Ron scoffed again.

"How does studying Quantum Theory have anything to do with being self sufficient in the Muggle world?" asked Hermione.

"Absolutely nothing," I said, "I was just curious about the concept of Personal Realities."

"Personal Realities?" asked Hermione.

"You ever hear of Espers?" I asked.

Hermione nodded as we all stood to head off to lessons.

"Yes, they're Ability Users, right?" she asked, "I admit that I was considering going to school in Academy City before my Hogwarts letter came."

"Right, well Personal Realities are the source of an Espers ability," I said, "Its based on a combination of Quantum Theory, utterly ignore the Uncertainty Principle and basically giving our normal reality the middle finger. Its kinda like Magic in that regard…"

We walked off to our first lesson, discussing theorems that, logically, should be well above our level as eleven year olds and made our Wizarding friends heads spin. Yep, I created a foundation of a friendship with Hermione on a goddamn physics lesson.

* * *

At three-thirty that afternoon, I joined my fellow Gryffindors as we hurried down the front steps onto the grounds for our first flying lesson. It was a clear, breezy day, perfect for flying. The Slytherins were already there, stood at the two lines of broomsticks lying in neat lines on the ground. I'd heard some of the upper years complain about the school brooms, saying that some of them started to vibrate if you flew too high, or always flew slightly to the left.

We took our places as the teacher, Madam Hooch, arrived. She had short, gray hair, and yellow eyes like a hawk that I had to wonder if were from her Animagus form or something.

"Well, what are you all waiting for?" she barked. "Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up."

The class hurried to obey.

"Stick out your right hand over your broom and say 'Up!'" Said Hooch

"UP!" everyone shouted.

The broom immediately jumped into my hand and I got an image of a big, floppy eared dog, panting up at me and begging for a treat. I couldn't help but snort at the image. I was one of the few who managed it on the first try. Hermione's just rolled over, Nevilles remained perfectly still, Rons smacked him in the face, Pansy Parkinson got her skirt flipped and Malfoy got smacked in the balls. It took me until Hooch got the chaos sorted out to regain control over my laughter at the look on Malfoys face.

Once everyone had their brooms in their hands, Hooch moved up and down the line, showing us how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end while walking up and down, correcting their grips.

"Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard," said Madam Hooch. "Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come straight back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle — three — two —"

Neville, nervous and jumpy and frightened of being left on the ground, pushed off hard before the whistle had touched Madam Hooch's lips.

"Come back, boy!" she shouted, but Neville was rising straight up like a cork shot out of a bottle, twelve feet, twenty feet.

I could see the terror on his face as his grip slipped and he started to fall...only to land squarely in Tracy's arms. I blinked. I hadn't even noticed the stoic girl move. Actually, the more surprising thing was that she caught him without even having to bend her knees or even really moving that much at all. Hell, her expression didn't even change. Surprising because, no offence to Neville, but he wasn't exactly a lightweight and he had fallen from quite a height.

"Thank you for that Miss Davis," said Hooch as she hurried over, "Are you alright Mr Longbottom?"

Neville nodded shakily as Tracy placed him back on his feet.

"Hmm, well, just to be safe, I think it would be best if you pay Madam Pomfrey a visit," said the teacher, "Come along."

She turned to the rest of the class.

"None of you is to move while I take this boy to the hospital wing! You leave those brooms where they are or you'll be out of Hogwarts before you can say 'Quidditch.' Come on, dear."

Neville shakily headed off with Madam Hooch, who had her arm around him. No sooner were they out of earshot than Malfoy burst into laughter.

"Did you see his face, the great lump?"

About half the Slytherins joined in while the rest just rolled their eyes and turned to talk amongst themselves.

"Shut up, Malfoy," snapped Parvati Patil.

"Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" said Pansy Parkinson, "Never thought you'd like fat little crybabies, Parvati."

"Look!" said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass, "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's gran sent him."

The Remembrall glittered in the sun as he held it up.

"Give that here, Malfoy," I said quietly.

Everyone stopped talking to watch. Malfoy smiled nastily.

"I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find — how about — up a tree?"

"Don't be childish Draco," said Daphne.

"Stay out of this Greengrass," snapped Malfoy, "This is between Potter and me."

He jumped onto his broom and took off, flying up to the top of a nearby oak

"Come and get it, Potter!" he shouted.

I sighed.

"Here, hold this a sec," I said, handing Hermione my broom.

"What are you…" started the girl, but was cut of as I pulled out my wand and flicked it in the direction of the tree.

"DRACO MALFOY, COME DOWN THIS MINUTE!"

The entire class jumped as Mcgonagall's voice issued from the tree. Malfoy had it worse because his sudden jerk had pulled his antique broom off course and caused it to drop out of the sky. It was only the branches of the tree that saved him from a serious injury, but he was still scratched up when he landed at my feet in a heap.

"Voice change and throwing charms," I said as I plucked the Remembrall from Malfoy's fingers, "Zonko's Tome of Fun and Frivolity, chapters 20-23."

I turned my back on Malfoy and headed back to my fellow Gryffindors. He wasn't badly hurt, just dazed, so his sycophants would be fine to look after him.

"Not bad," said Daphne, "An impressive use of prank spells."

"Why do you even have that book?" asked Hermione.

I shrugged.

"Why not?" I asked, "I mean, I can think of countless uses for just about every spell you can think of. Besides, you never know when a simple spell can turn the tide of a duel."

"Still, I suggest that you watch your back Harry," said Daphne, "Draco won't let this go. He'll find some way of getting even."

I shrugged.

"He's welcome to try," I said, "I'm pretty sure I can take him if it comes down to it."

"Thats true I suppose," said Daphne, "Even so, watch your back."

I nodded as the bell went off and everyone headed back inside for our next lesson.

 **And I'm going to leave it there. Next time, Malfoy finally loses his cool and does something stupid.**

 **Harry and Hermione get to make friends early due to a shared love of SCIENCE! Will all that have bearing on the future? Hmm, maybe.**

 **A short AN this time because I honestly don't have much to say. Make sure you leave a review on the way out!**


	6. Chapter 6

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 6

It actually took surprisingly little time for Malfoy to decided to do something stupid. It was dinnertime and Hermione and I were once again engrossed in a discussion on the application of science and magic when a sneering voice made me look up.

"You think you're so good, don't you Potter," sneered Malfoy, "I bet you wouldn't stand a chance against a real Wizard!"

I snorted.

"Malfoy, piss of," I said, "I honestly don't give a rats ass what a coward like you whose only brave with your little friends around thinks about me."

Malfoy scowled.

"I'd take you on anytime on my own," he snarled, "Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Wands only, no contact. What's the matter? Never heard of a wizard's duel before, I suppose?"

"Actually, I have, casually," I said, "I also know that, as the challenged party, I have the right to chose the time and place."

Malfoy went the colour of gone off milk.

"So, if we're gonna do this, it'll be here and now," I said, resting my chin on my fist as I smirked at the blond pest.

I watched in no small amusement as I saw a number of interesting expressions cross Malfoys face. It was evident that he hadn't expected me to know anything about Duels when he made the challenge. He also hadn't really thought it through, making the challenge in a public place as I had deliberately raised my voice so the Gryffindors around us could here, attracting more attention as the whispers spread. That basically meant that Malfoy had one of two choices. He could apologize and withdraw his challenge, but that could make him look like a coward since he was the one who issued the challenge in the first place, or he could go through with it and risk losing to me. Since I was a Half-blood and from a Muggle home, that would be a huge blow to the Malfoy pride and their standing among the Dark families who actually give a shit about Blood Purity.

Going from what I knew about Malfoy from Canon, Fanfictions and what I had observed of him so far, there was no way he'd risk losing face, even if it was just perceived and he likely thought there was no way I could beat him since I was, according to his beliefs, an inferior Wizard. Heres the thing though. While I wouldn't say that Malfoy was an idiot or a bad student, he was just average. I on the other hand, was one of the top students in the year and I had done a ton of extracurricular reading. Admittedly, he likely knew more nasty curses than I did, but I could use the spells I knew in a far more inventive way than him.

"Whats going on here?" asked Mcgonagall as she walked over.

"Malfoy challenged me to a duel and I agreed," I said before Malfoy could say anything, "I was just about to go and ask Professor Dumbledore if he could provide a Strip for us to use."

Mcgonagall looked surprised and her lips thinned. She didn't say anything however and instead marched of to the head table, no doubt to relay the message.

"Harry, what are you playing at?!" hissed Hermione, "You can't go around picking fights!"

"I didn't pick it, Malfoy did," I said, "Besides, as the heirs of our houses, we can technically duel at Hogwarts, so long as its in a proper arena and has a qualified referee."

I caught Hermiones look.

"I'll give you the book when we get back upstairs."

Hermione ground her teeth together, but nodded.

"Fine," she grumbled, "But are you sure this is wise? I mean, he is a Pure Blood. He's likely to know a lot of spells you don't."

"Sos Ron," I said, "Besides, its not like I don't have quite the arsenal of my own."

"Good point," said Hermione, shooting a look at the red headed pig, "But I don't think those prank spells you've been learning will help much here."

"Oh I don't know, I could get lucky," I said with a smirk.

My smirk widened as Hermione fixed me with a withering look. I glanced up at the Staff table and saw Dumbledore, Flitwick and Mcgonagall whispering heatedly together. As if sensing my gaze, Flitwick glanced up and, upon seeing that I was looking their way, beckoned for me to join them. I stood and headed up to the head of the room. As I approached, Dumbledore smiled, his eyes a twinkle. I made sure to focus on his overly long nose instead of said eyes, but that didn't stop me from noticing the ever so slight frown he pulled as I did.

"Ah, Harry my boy, Professor Mcgonagall tells me that you and Mr Malfoy have had a slight disagreement," he said.

"No, he challenged me to a duel and I accepted," I said, "Its well within our rights to do so."

"True, but is it really necessary?" asked Dumbledore, "I'm sure that all this can be smoothed over with an apology."

"For what?" I asked, "I've done nothing wrong and Malfoy was the one who issued the challenge. If he withdraws the challenge, I'll let this go, but I won't apologize for nothing."

"Now Harry…" said Dumbledore.

"Whats the hold up?" demanded Malfoy as he approached with Snape.

It looked like he'd grown some balls and decided that he'd be able to beat me. Dumbledore looked like he'd swallowed a lemon as he realized he wouldn't be able to stop the duel.

"Very well," he said and stood, "Attention students, I apologize for interrupting your dinner, but it appears that we have a duel between Harry and Mr Malfoy."

A buzz of chatter filled the hall as the Headmaster waved his wand, causing the room to expand and a section of the stone floor to rise up, creating a regulation sized dueling strip. Once the stone stopped moving, I felt multiple Wards snap into place.

"Take your positions gentlemen," said Flitwick as he hopped up on a raised platform that appeared half way down the strip, "As a ICW recognized Master of Dueling, I shall be the referee. I expect you both to show your opponent the respect he deserves. Since we don't want any deaths, this duel will be to incapacitation or forfeit. Do you both understand?"

"Yes sir," I said.

"Yes yes, get on with it," said Malfoy.

"In that case, begin!"

"Impedimenta, stupefy, immobulus, locomotor mortis, incarcerous!" shouted Malfoy as he started shooting spells at me as soon as the command left Flitwicks lips.

I danced around the spells, deflecting the few I couldn't dodge with well placed shields. Malfoy was clearly getting more and more agitated as I continued to deflect or evade his spells and his next spell was a nasty looking gray curse that ate its way through the wall when it collided with the stone.

"Well, that wasn't very friendly," I said, "My turn."

And with that, I went on the attack, sending a barrage of brightly coloured lights at the pompous git. Unlike me, Malfoy wasn't able to dodge or deflect them all, resulting in his hair turning florescent pink, his shoes turning into clown shoes, his skin orange and his mouth and nose into a ducks bill that resulted in him being only able to quack.

"And finally, Ornithorhynchus Anatinus Polymorphus," I said, shooting a purple and silver spell at Malfoy.

He let out a squark as it hit him and, with a loud pop, turned into an Ornithorhynchus anatinus or, in layman's terms, a duck billed platypus that fell to the floor with a splat. There was silence for a moment, before the entire school burst out laughing at the sight of the ungainly creature scrabbling around, squawking desperately. Even Flitwick was chuckling as he called the duel.

"Very well done Mr Potter," he said, "I admit, I've never seen a duel won with nothing but prank spells before."

I just grinned and took a bow.

"I must agree Potter," said Mcgonagall, who looked like she was hiding a smile, "And that last spell...that wasn't normal transfiguration, was it?"

I shook my head.

"No, it was another prank spell," I said, "The Polymorph charm. Basically, it turns the target into either a specified animal or one that both suits the target and humiliates them. It only lasts for a couple of hours."

"Ah, yes of course," said Mcgonagall, "The simplest form of Human transfiguration there is."

She shot Malfoy a look.

"Well, I suppose we should get Mr Malfoy to the Hospital wing until the spell wears off."

She turned to leave, but paused.

"Mr Potter, while I don't approve of you dueling like this, it was still impressive. Take 20 points for an incredible show and inventive use of spells."

"Yes indeed, take another 30 for showing me some new uses for spells," said Flitwick, "Now, I believe you have an essay to do for me, correct? Run along."

I thanked the two teachers and hurried back down to rejoin my fellow Gryffindors, all of whom showered me with praise for such an impressive showing, although Hermione did demand to see the book I'd got the spells from. As we left the hall, Daphne and Tracy walked past, with the former shooting a 'great job Potter' over her shoulder. I had to smile. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I was expecting.

Dumbledores POV

Albus Dumbledore was worried. Ever since the start of the year, he'd been keeping an eye on one Harry Potter and he didn't like what he saw. When the old geezer had put young Harry with his family, it had been his intention that he grow up ignorant of the Wizarding World. He had wanted to instil in the young Potter a feeling that the Wizarding World was some kind of paradise that needed to be protected, thus fostering a greater willingness to sacrifice himself for it. After all, according to the prophecy, it was only through Harrys sacrifice that Voldemort could be defeated. It was a shame, but it had to be done.

Unfortunately, that plan had fallen through. He was sure that the Dursleys would do everything they could to keep the letter away from Harry, thus allowing him to send Hagrid to collect him and start the process of making the boy believe that Dumbledore was a great man who needed to be listened to, not to mention making the boy curious about the Stone. However, he had somehow managed to get to the Alley and do his shopping alone, a fact he'd found out after Ollivander wrote to him about the Wand Harry had acquired. Dumbledore had nearly had a heart attack when he'd discovered that Harry hadn't received the Brother wand to Voldemort. However, that was a minor issue.

What wasn't a minor issue was the fact that his main spy, Ronald Weasley, had completely failed to make friends with young Harry. To make matters worse, he'd sort of befriended two Slytherins! Fortunately, it hadn't been any of the Dark children. Unfortunately, it had been Miss Greengrass, the daughter of Diehauser Greengrass, the head of the Neutral block of the Wizengamot and someone who had once laughed in his face at the idea of the Greater Good. Yeah, there was no way that she'd ever agree to be a spy for him.

Another problem (at least insofar as keeping Harry weak and ignorant) was the fact that Harry was an incredibly studious boy. He was in the top five in every class, even Potions and not one teacher had anything but praise for the boy. There was also his odd choice to continue his Muggle education and the textbooks on something called 'Personal Realities' that he kept reading, along with his Muggle Penpal, but Dumbledore didn't think they were important. After all, what could Muggles possibly offer Harry?

However, out of everything else, Dumbledore was most worried about what he'd seen when he'd peeked into Harrys mind on the first day. The most obvious thing had been the beginnings of Occlumency barriers that would be a massive problem at the best of times. However, there were two things that were far more pressing issues. The first was that, despite the fact he'd easily slipped past the barriers, the only thing he had found in Harrys head was a brilliant light and a brief glimpse of what appeared to be a gold and blue object of some kind, although he hadn't managed to get a good look. The other problem was the sheer _pressure_ he'd felt when he'd entered Harry's mind. When a Legilimens enters another's mind, they do so on a metaphysical level. See, memories are stored, not just in the brain, but also in the Soul, a detail that was discovered in the Department of Mysteries. That was why the easiest way to read anothers mind was to meet their eyes, the windows to the Soul. However, when Dumbledore had entered Harry's mind and thus, his Soul, he'd felt and incredible pressure pressing down on him. It didn't feel deliberate, like some kind of defence Harry had put in place, but rather as if he had suddenly dropped to the bottom of the Black Lake and had multiple tons of water pressing down on him. It was as if Harrys Soul was exerting this massive pressure without realizing it.

The thought terrified Dumbledore as he had never heard of anything like it. Admittedly, Souls weren't really that well understood, even by the Unspeakable, but even so, Dumbledore had no idea how someone's Soul could possibly exert that much pressure. Could it be the Power he Knew Not? Perhaps, but Dumbledore fully intended to keep a close eye on Harry Potter.

 **And done. I expect that I'll be getting some use out of the Polymorph spell.**

 **Speaking of, that spell isn't as complex as other Human Transfiguration because it basically just brute forces it. There's no finesse and it won't work on anyone with more Magic or willpower than the caster. As a result, while theres no counter spell, it doesn't last more than a couple of hours.**

 **I still have no idea why I used a Platypus, but its literally the only thing I've been able to think of since I started planning that scene. Hell, my original spell was going to be 'Platymorph', but since I plan to turn someone into something completely different in the future, I decided to change it.**

 **Not sure what I'm going to do with Dumbles yet, but I'm trying to keep him from coming across as flat out evil.**

 **The pressure of Harry's soul is a trait of Outsiders. Its why trying to possess them is incredibly stupid at the best of times.**

 **And with that, I'm going to sign off so I can go to bed. Please leave a review on your way out!**


	7. Chapter 7

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Before I forget, I put a poll on my profile to determine the future of this story, so go vote on which Route to take. Enjoy!**

Chapter 7

After my overwhelming defeat of Malfoy, things mostly calmed down. Malfoy was clearly furious about what had happened and I suspect it didn't help that people had started quacking whenever they passed him in the halls, but he wasn't stupid enough to pick a fight with me again. Not after spending an entire night as a furry animal. That was actually another reason for him to be embarrassed if he ever bothered to look up the details of the Polymorph Charm. See, the amount of time one remained in the transfigured form was dependent on the amount of Magic and will you had in comparison to the caster. Most people remained in the form for an hour at most before changing back, but it had taken Malfoy a full 12 hours to return to Human form. Not the longest time, but still pretty humiliating.

Unfortunately, said victory had created a windfall of annoyance. See, while everyone was clearly impressed by my skills, none of them seemed surprised by it. I happened to overhear multiple people talking about it and pretty much drawing the parallel between said skills and me being the Boy-who-lived. I mean, I pretty much expected it, but it was still jarring to realize that, whatever I did, it would always been attributed to me being the Boy-who-lived or Lily and James Potters son. Fortunately, I had some people who simply saw Harry Potter and not some title or my parents. One of those people was Hermione, who had proven herself to be extremely good at Physics. In fact, it had got to the point where I was seriously wondering why the hell she'd agreed to come to Hogwarts when it was obvious she'd get a LOT more out of a mundane education. She was certainly more scientifically minded than most of our classmates.

* * *

"Well, what girl wouldn't want to learn magic?" she had said when I bought it up one day.

"Good point," I said, "Plus, I bet Mcgonagall sold the Wizarding World like some kind of paradise."

Hermione shrugged.

"I guess so," she said, "Mum and Dad weren't to happy with my decision though and…"

She trailed off.

"Whats up?" I asked.

Hermione heaved a big sigh.

"I've been having second thoughts lately," she said, "I mean, as amazing as Magic is, it feels like nothings really changed. The main reason I wanted to go to Academy City is because practically everyone there is like me, curious about the world and ready to learn. The schools there are among the best in the world and they don't let just anyone in. I was a little leery of going so far away on my own though, which is why I decided to come to Hogwarts. I had hoped for something similar, people who understood me and wanted to learn. What I got was exactly the same as my old school."

I snorted.

"To be fair, you do tend to come on a bit strong Hermione," I said, "But I get what you mean."

I glanced at her as we started up the next staircase to the Third Floor.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," said Hermione, "I don't think I'd feel right if I gave up so easily and, despite how bad some people are, I have made some friends here."

She smiled at me and I smirked back.

"I guess I should be flattered then," I said, "Still, if you're unhappy here, you shouldnt let us hold you back. Its not like we can't write after all."

I patted my pocket where the latest letter from Saten was tucked away. Apparently she was making excellent use of the books I'd sent her and the simplified explanation I'd given of Personal Reality and had actually begun showing signs of developing a power.

"Good point," said Hermione, "Plus, it'd be nice to see…"

Whatever she was about to say was cut off as the staircase we were on suddenly moved, throwing us both of balance.

"What the hell?!" I spluttered as I grabbed onto the banister to keep from falling.

"W-whoaaa!" yelped Hermione as she lost her balance and started to fall.

I caught her before she could crack her head on the stone and pulled her in close until the staircase finally stopped moving.

"Well, that was interesting," I said, "You OK?"

Hermione scowled and punched my shoulder.

"Stop being sarcastic and lets get off this thing," she growled as she stood and marched up the stairs and through the door the staircase now lead to.

I rolled my eyes and followed her through the door. The second we stepped through, I knew we were in trouble. The hall was dark and looked like no one had come through in weeks, if not longer if the excessive cobwebs were anything to go by.

"Aw crap," I muttered as I suddenly realized where we were.

"I second that," said Hermione, looking equally worried, "This is the third floor, isnt it?"

"That it is," I said, "We should leave…"

We turned to do just that, only to find that the staircase had already moved and Mrs Norris was sat in the door, glaring at us through lamplike eyes. Well, me mostly. The stupid moggy had made the stupid mistake of getting on Kuroka's bad side and got absolutely savaged. Now Kuroka was the Alpha pussy cat and Filch hated my guts more than anyone else. If he caught us here…

"We should run," I said.

"Noted."

We turned and sprinted down the hall as the loud wheezing of the caretaker reached our ears. It seemed that whatever way we turned, we could hear him approaching until we were finally forced down a dead end corridor that ended in a locked door. Despite the fact I was pretty sure that was Fluffys room, we didn't really have much of a choice and besides, Hermione had already opened the door and dragged me inside. I gulped as I spotted the sleeping Fluffy, who started to stir as soon as we entered.

"I think hes going," said Hermione who was listening at the door.

"Yeah, because he thinks no one would be stupid enough to come in here!" I hissed.

"What?"

Hermione turned and froze at the sight of the massive mutt that was starting to growl as he smelt us. Hermione let out a whimper and nearly collapsed, but I caught her and started dragging her towards the door. There was no way I was getting eaten! I was just about to open the door when Fluffy started barking and lunged at us. Hermione screamed and closed her eyes while I desperately wished to be elsewhere…

WVOOP!

I blinked as the three headed dog and dark room was suddenly replaced by the dark corridor on the other side of the door as a loud thud sounded through said door as Fluffy ran head first into it. I blinked a few more times as I tried to figure out what the hell had just happened.

"W-what was that!?" I spluttered after a moment.

Hermione seemed to be just as shocked, although that might have had something to do with the lingering fear of encountering a killer cerberus.

"That wasn't Apparition," she muttered.

"Yeah, I know," I muttered as I scanned my mind to try and figure out how the hell I'd managed to teleport us...wait a second!

I quickly used my Occlumency to rewatch the memory and nearly slammed my head against a wall as I realized what had happened. Well, its nice to see that I've inherited the Potter Luck. One of the problems with incomplete Occlumency was that it could occasionally act strangely when the user was placed into stressful situations. Like almost being eaten by a giant dog for example. What had happened was that, in the moment I'd wished to be somewhere else, my Occlumency had somehow triggered the creation of a Personal Reality. I'm not sure if its because I'm a Wizard, my Occlumency or the fact I was already considering attempting to developing a Personal Reality, but thats what happened. Still, it was nice to know that I could actually use said power without falling apart.

"I think we teleported," I said.

Hermione looked at me in confusion, before her eyes widened.

"Wait, you mean you activated an Esper Power?" she asked, "But how….?"

"Occlumency and Potter bullshit luck as far as I can tell," I grumbled, "Now, lets see if I can…"

I narrowed my eyes and focused a short distance down the hall. There was a momentary feeling of weightlessness before I was suddenly where I was looking. I grinned and teleported back to Hermione, who was gaping at me in utter disbelief.

"Wha...how…?" she spluttered.

"I'll show you the books when we get back to the common room," I said, "But first…"

I pulled out my wand and, after a brief hesitation, cast a Lumos. Nothing happened. No agonizing pain, no muscles tearing themselves apart, no blood pouring from my orifices. Just the tip of my wand lighting up. I quickly went through a few more powerful spells, before letting out a sigh of relief as I didn't die horribly.

"What was that all about?" asked Hermione.

"Just wanted to make sure this hasn't affected my Magic," I said as I put my wand away and placed my hand on Hermiones shoulder.

The girl yelped as we were suddenly on the Seventh Floor corridor.

"Heh, I love this power already," I said with a massive grin.

Hermione didn't seem to agree and punched me in the stomach.

"Warn me before you do that!" she shouted as I fell to my knees, gasping.

"Sorry," I groaned as Hermione flounced off and vanished through the portrait hole.

* * *

Once I could breath again, I followed my friend into the Common Room where I found her trying to help Neville with his practical Transfiguration homework. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work.

"Hey guys, hows it going?" I asked as I approached.

"Badly," growled Hermione, "I can't understand it! Your pronunciation and Wand movements are perfect, so it should work!"

"I don't know alright!" shouted Neville, throwing his wand on the table in frustration, "Maybe Malfoys right and I am just a Squib…"

"I don't think thats the problem," I said as I examined Nevilles wand, "Neville, where did you get this wand? It looks really old."

"It was my dads," said Neville, "My Grandmother gave it to me. It was good enough for him, so it should be good enough for me."

"Yep, that'd do it," I said, "Neville, you need your own wand."

"What?"

"One of the first things Ollivander told me when I went into his shop was that the Wand chooses the Wizard," I said, "What worked for your Father, likely won't work for you. Take my wand for example. My Mums wand was willow and my dads, Mahogany wand, but mine is made of silver lime. Frankly, the fact that you can do ANYTHING with this wand is a miracle in itself."

"But I…" started Neville.

"Look, just write to your Gran and have her go and ask Ollivander about it if she doesn't believe me," I said, "But if you want to improve at all, you need your own wand."

Neville nodded hesitantly and went off to do just that.

* * *

Two days later, Madam Longbottom showed up to take Neville to Diagon to get his own wand. Upon her return, she approached me with a sheepish look.

"Mr Potter, I'd like to thank you for pointing out Neville's problem," she said, "I fear my grief over my son and his wife's fate made me forget one of the most basic elements of Wandlore that everyone knowns."

"Its not a problem," I said, "I'm always happy to help my classmates and Neville is a good friend."

I paused as an interesting idea suddenly came to mind.

"Um, Madam Longbottom, if its not to forwards, I may have a suggestion as to how you can help Nevilles parents."

Madam Longbottom gave me a suspicious look.

"How do you know what happened to them?" she asked, "I know that Neville wouldn't have told you."

"The library has an archive of old Prophet additions," I said, "I read it in one of those."

Madam Longbottom nodded and indicated for me to continue.

"Well, if the Magical World can't do anything, why not try the Muggle World?" I suggested, "They have a huge number of people who may be able to help or at least suggest a way to help them. Hell, if you're willing to travel, you're best bet would be to try a hospital in Academy City."

If anyone could help it was Heaven Canceller. He did once manage to put Accelerator back together after he got shot in the head after all. Madam Longbottom didn't look convinced however.

"Its worth a try, right?" I asked, "I know that Magicals don't exactly have the best image of Muggle doctors, but they are VERY good at what they do."

Madam Longbottom sighed.

"I suppose you're right," she said, "At this point, I think I've given up all hope that my son and daughter-in-law will ever recover. I suppose that one last attempt won't hurt…"

She thanked me one last time and left, leaving me at the mercy of a tearful Neville who started thanking me repeatedly as he hugged his new wand to his chest like a lifeline. I really don't want to be anywhere near him if my suggestion works and his parents are healed or he might drown me in happy tears.

 **And I'm gonna end this here. So, Harry and Hermione have encountered Fluffy and Harry has unlocked his power through a combination of Occlumency acting up and sheer Potter bullshitery.**

 **Speaking of, should Harry be considered an Esper or a Gemstone? I mean, he's not been through the Power Curriculum Program, but his power is now active and works in exactly the same was as a standard Esper. Interesting thought…**

 **Harrys a Teleporter and, technically, is already a Level 4 since he can teleport himself and others.**

 **And with that, I'm done. Please leave a review on the way out!**


	8. Chapter 8

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 8

Following my discovery of my spontaneous development of Teleportation, my schedule became rather hectic. I changed my training spot from by the lake to the Room of Requirement, mainly because I didn't really want word of my ability to spread. I'd already asked Hermione to keep her mouth shut and she'd agreed to do so. During my practice with my ability, I was able to learn my limits. When teleporting myself, I had practically no limits on how far I could go, having proven it when I managed to teleport myself to Sydney and back. I needed to be able to picture the location in question clearly in my mind, but a photograph worked fine for that. So did films seen in another world apparently as I managed to accidentally teleport myself into the Ministry Atrium. I'd also managed Tom Riddles Grave, the Cave by the sea where the Locket was hidden, Tokiwadai dormitories (don't ask) and the roof of the Windowless Building.

I did however have a limit on the weight of things I could take with me. Sort of. See, if I teleported along with the item, the limit was completely removed, but if I didn't, I was limited to about 100kg worth of mass about 50 meters from myself. I could also teleport things to me, so long as I knew where they were and what they looked like. However, I couldn't teleport objects between locations unless one of those locations was at my feet.

* * *

Considering all the experimentation I was doing, plus my lessons, homework and so on, it was no surprise that Halloween rolled around sooner than I thought. That didn't mean I wasn't ready though. I'd been planning a prank for months and I wasn't about to allow the fact I was distracted by practice and school work stop me from pulling it off. Actually, my new teleportation ability came in handy to pull it off.

"What are you smirking at?" asked Hermione as we headed down for breakfast on Halloween morning.

"Oh, you'll see," I said as we turned the corner into the entrance hall.

The moment I stepped into the Great Hall, a bolt of magic shot from the Slytherin table and hit me in the face, turning my uniform into a red shirt, black trousers and a black cloak and my hair a shade of reddish brown.

"If we're stuck like this for the day, you can to," said Daphne as she tucked her wand away.

The annoyed looking blond was wearing a uniform consisting of a dark red blazer and a red tartan patterned skirt under a tattered looking cloak and a pointed witch's hat. She was also sporting a set of fangs that had her housemates keeping their distance. Tracy meanwhile was wearing the same uniform, minus the cloak and hat, but her hair had been turned green and she was sporting a pair of horn-like extensions over her ears.

"At least you didn't pick Negi or Chamo," I said, "Actually, the better question would be, how the hell do you know about Negima?"

"I have a friend who's obsessed with Anime and all things Japanese," said Daphne.

"Fair enough."

I waved my wand and conjured a copy of Nagi's staff to complete the outfit.

"Harry…" said Hermione.

"Aw, lighten up Mione," I said, "Its Halloween! Lets have some fun and dress up for the day. In fact…"

"Don't you...EEP!"

Hermione glared at me as she pulled out her wand and reversed the transfiguration that gave her cat ears and a tail.

"Aww, your no fun," I said, "OW!"

Hermione stalked off, leaving me to hop after her, holding my newly throbbing foot.

"I should have turned you into Asuna for the day," I muttered.

"Don't you dare!" she growled, pointing her wand at me.

"Jeez, I'm only kidding," I said, holding up my hands, "I don't have time to set up the timed transfiguration now anyway."

The glare that Hermione gave me could have melted through solid stone.

* * *

Despite the fact that I showed up for class in what amounted to my Halloween costume for the year, most of the teachers just looked amused, likely because they'd seen what happened that morning between Daphne and I. The day went by with few issues, right up until Charms when Flitwick (In a truly idiotic move) paired Hermione and Ron together for the lesson on the Levitation charm. Still, it was a tad unlikely that Hermione would end up in the Girls Bathroom as, while she was still eager to help out anyone and everyone, she had calmed down significantly since she and I had become friends. It probably had something to do with the fact that we regularly got into conversations about science that quickly had virtually anyone listening in completely lost. Of course Ron was still a foul git who seemed to have made it his personal mission to paint me and anyone I associated with in the worst light possible. It...wasn't going well for the idiot, especially since Neville got his new wand and jumped from the bottom of the class to the top ten, helped along the way by yours truly and Hermione. Needless to say, Ron spent a lot of time glaring at us these days.

"Now, don't forget that nice wrist movement we've been practicing!" squeaked Professor Flitwick, perched on top of his pile of books as usual, "Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. And saying the magic words properly is very important, too — never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said 's' instead of 'f' and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest. Off you go."

I sighed as I pointed at the feather in front of me and it shot up to the ceiling fast enough to lodge itself in the wooden beam.

"Oops," I drawled.

"A little less power I think Mr Potter," said Flitwick, "But take five points for being the first to manage it, even if you are lacking in control."

Actually, that was deliberate. I had started to become incredibly bored in lessons as I realized that, as time went along, I was becoming further and further ahead of the rest of the class. I wasn't willing to wait around, so I read ahead, I practiced and I learned. Maybe it was because I was mentally much more mature than my classmates, even Hermione, but I just couldn't sit around playing chess or Gobstones. Oh, I took breaks, but when you consider the fact that my Occlumency gave me near perfect instant recall, that still meant I was going through the material at a tremendous pace.

I let out a quiet sigh as I scanned the room, watching as the rest of the students waved their wands and chanted the spell as they attempted, and failed, to get their feathers to fly. Neville was the only one who seemed to be having any luck, although I imagined that Hermione would manage as soon as Ron stopped nearly taking her eye out with all the flailing around he was doing.

"You're saying it wrong," snapped Hermione, "It's Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, make the 'gar' nice and long."

"You do it, then, if you're so clever," Ron snarled.

Hermione did exactly that, much to the red-heads chagrin.

"It's no wonder no one can stand her," he said to Dean Thomas as we left the classroom once class was over, "she's a nightmare, honestly. Its no wonder she doesn't have any friends."

My eyebrows shot up.

"Is he blind or just in denial do you think?" I asked.

"Hes an idiot Harry," said Hermione.

"Good point."

* * *

The rest of the day went by without a hitch until dinnertime rolled around. The hall looked an absolute treat, with thousands of live bats fluttered from the walls and ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins stutter. The feast appeared suddenly on the golden plates, as it had at the start-of-term banquet. However, while it all looked delicious and everyone else was having fun, I couldn't help but be a tad worried. Hermione had excused herself to visit the loo after the last lesson of the day and hasn't reappeared yet. It didn't help that I'd spotted Ron and his goons entering the hall a tad later than I was expecting looking very smug about something.

Maybe I was being paranoid, but I couldn't help get the feeling that those three had something to do with Hermione not being present. With that in mind, I got to my feet.

"Where are you going Harry?" asked Neville.

"I'm a bit worried about Hermione," I said, "I'm going to go see if I can find her."

"Alright, I'll go with you," said Neville, getting to his feet.

Before we could take more than a few steps however…

"TROLL, TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!"

"Aw shit," I muttered as Quirrell keeled over and the screaming started, "Hold onto your stomach Neville."

"Wha...WHOA!"

I grabbed my friend's shoulder and teleported us to the Third Floor, the last place I'd seen Hermione.

"Bloody hell, what was that?!" spluttered Neville as I dragged him down the hall.

"Teleportation," I said, "Look, I'll explain later, but for now just keep quiet about it. I don't really want word of it getting around."

"I can understand why," muttered Neville, "If you can get through Wards…"

He trailed off as a foul smell reached our nostrils.

"What the...how did that thing get up here so quickly?!" I spluttered as the Troll stumped across the corridor.

"I don't know, but isnt that the girls bathroom?" asked Neville.

He was answered as a scream echoed out of the bathroom.

"HERMIONE!"

I teleported us to the door and threw the door open, revealing that the Troll was already making a bang up job of smashing up the room and Hermione was cowering in the corner, looking scared out of her mind. I also noticed that she had a black eye and a bloody nose, but the most immediate problem was the Troll.

"Neville, confuse it, I'm gonna get Hermione out of there!" I shouted and focused on Teleporting next to Hermione.

I appeared next to my female friend, grabbed her and snapped back to where Neville was lobbing chunks of rubble around the room to cause echos to confuse the Troll.

"Here, take her out of here," I said as I handed Hermione off to Neville.

"What about you?" asked Neville.

"Well, we can't just leave it here," I said with a smirk and ducked back into the room.

I darted around the Troll, trying to get close enough to touch it so I could teleport it out of the castle, but the stupid thing wasn't making it easy as it stomped around the room, roaring and swinging its club. I couldn't get close or risk getting stepped on or smacked with half a tree trunk. I ducked as the Troll swung its club and smashed one of the few remaining intact cubicles into kindling. I winced as the splinters scored shallow cuts into my exposed skin, before jumping and challenging magic into my feet. I smirked as I felt the air under my harden and jumped again, apparently off thin air as I made use of the trick I'd finally mastered to get over the Trolls club and land on his shoulders.

"Sayonara stinky," I said and the Troll vanished…

Only to reappear a few meters off the ground, upside down, and came crashing back down on its head with enough force to shake the castle and embed said head deep into the stone floor.

"Well, that was fun," I said as I reappeared back between my friends, making them jump.

"Wha...how did you…" spluttered Neville.

"Teleporter," I said, "Its not that hard to reorient something when you teleport it."

"B-but how?" asked Neville, "Trolls are incredibly resistant to Magic and appreciation should not be possible within Hogwarts wards."

"Well, for starters its not magic," I said, "And...actually, thats pretty much it. Its not Magic, so there are no wards that can stop it and nothing for the Troll to resist. Now, back to more important matters…"

I knelt down next to Hermione, who was sat against the wall, shaking like a leaf. She looked like she had gone into shock and I doubt her injuries helped. I frowned as I looked at said injuries. They didn't look like they'd been caused by the Troll, in fact, that bruise on her arm looks a lot like…

Hermione gasped as I took her arm and pulled up her sleeve, revealing a red handprint on her forearm.

"Hermione, what happened," I said in a calm voice that did nothing to hide the fact that I was, to put it mildly, rather vexed.

"It was Weasley," said Hermione, wincing slightly as I moved from her arm to her split lip and black eye, "Him and his mates. Said it was punishment for being a stuck up, know it all mudblood."

"Did he now?"

We all jumped and spun around to see Mcgonagall and Snape stood there with a pale looking Quirrel puffing up behind them. The two Heads of Houses looked just as angry as I felt.

"I was going to ask why the three of you are here, but I feel that I already know the answer," said Mcgonagall, "Mr Potter, would you be so kind as to escort Miss Granger to the Hospital Wing? It may be best if Madam Pomfrey takes a look at her. Mr Longbottom, return to Gryffindor Tower and inform Mr Weasley that I wish to speak with him in my office at once."

"Yes Professor," we said and headed off, leaving the three teachers to dispose of the Troll.

 **And done. Just to make things perfectly clear, I will not be pairing Harry with Hermione. They will be close friends and nothing more.**

 **Yeah, not very inventive when it comes to pranks, am I? That gag was practically gift wrapped and I had it planned right from the getgo, so I'm not sure if it actually counts...eh, whatever. In case your wondering, Harry basically created a timed transfiguration that turned Daphne and Tracy into Eva and Chachamaru for the day. Then he got turned into Nagi. I considered having Hermione get turned into Asuna, but decided that was a step too far.**

 **Harrys teleportation ability may seem a tad OP, but hes actually not quite as powerful as Kuroko in terms of teleporting objects. Of course, if he goes along with them, he can blow her powers out of the water.**

 **Ron...yeah, hes a complete dick. He'll get his though, don't worry about that.**

 **And, other than that, I think I'm done. Don't forget to leave a review on your way out!**


	9. Chapter 9

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Before we begin, the poll is now over with the final result being...drum roll...the Fate Route! Considering some of the ideas I have for the not too distant future, you lot are either going to be praising my name for incredible twist or trying to stab me with pointy things. Either way, Enjoy!**

Chapter 9

Following the Troll incident, nothing much really changed. I mean, Ron and his goons were in detention for a month and the Gryffindor hourglass was looking rather anemic, resulting in said boys being in the dog house with the entire house, but other than that, nothing. We didn't even go to the Quidditch match as not one of us really cared about the game enough to go. I did plan to try out next year, but I really don't like watching sport, Hermione found it equally dull and Neville was studying up on Personal Reality after we explained it to him. He found it fascinating, but it was the same kind of fascination that Mr Weasley had with Muggles, so I doubted he'd be joining Hermione and I in our little science bubble any time soon.

* * *

There was one slightly interesting event that made me think that maybe certain events couldn't be avoided. It was during one of our visits to Hagrids (who, despite being an avid Dumbledore supporter) was still an OK guy and made an excellent cuppa. We were discussing teachers and the conversation turned to Snape and the fact he'd been limping lately. Neville mentioned that he'd noticed a large bite on his leg that looked like it had been done by a dog, leading Hermione to mention Fluffy. Naturally, that got a reaction from Hagrid.

"How do you know about Fluffy?" he said.

"Fluffy?" spluttered Hermione.

"Yeah — he's mine — bought him off a Greek chappie I met in the pub las' year — I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the —"

"Yes?" said Neville eagerly.

"Now, don't ask me anymore," said Hagrid gruffly. "That's top secret, that is."

"But if Snape was bitten by it, doesn't that mean he was trying to get past it?" said Hermione, "What if hes trying to steal whatever its guarding?"

I stifled the urge to groan and drop my face into my hands. Something told me this was going to be a right pain in the ass.

"Rubbish," said Hagrid again. "Snape's a Hogwarts teacher, he'd do nothin' of the sort."

"Then why did Fluffy bite him?"

"I'm tellin' yeh, yer wrong!" said Hagrid hotly. "I don' know why Fluffy bit him, but he is known for being a bit...temperamental and he really doesn't like Snape. Now, listen to me, all three of yeh — yer meddlin' in things that don' concern yeh. It's dangerous. You forget that dog, an' you forget what it's guardin', that's between Professor Dumbledore an' Nicolas Flamel —"

"Aha!" said Neville, "so there's someone called Nicolas Flamel involved, is there?"

Hagrid looked furious with himself.

* * *

So thats what Hermione and Neville were currently most interested in while I did my best to stay far, far away from the issue. Not that they made it easy and there were a few times that I was sorely tempted to just tell them about Flamal, but it was too amusing watching them look in completely the wrong places while I blatantly read a copy of 'The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel' in front of them. I even transfigured and animated a copy of Alphonse armour to follow them around regurgitating lines from the show, but that just annoyed Hermione to the point that she started firing hexes at me.

* * *

Eventually, the holidays rolled around and with it, the castle emptied, leaving me almost completely alone in Gryffindor Tower. Unfortunately, my only company were the Weasleys and a couple of seventh year girls I didn't know, along with a blond girl in my year who I also didn't know. I didn't exactly have chance to get to know them either as I spent as much time as possibly far away from the castle, enjoying the Christmas festivities down in Australia. It was quite the experience to have a BBQ on December the 24th.

On Christmas morning, I came downstairs to a welcome gift...Ron on the floor in pain. I paused on the stairs and stared at the scene before me. Ron was on the floor, curled up in the feotle position, clutching his stomach with his attacker stood over him. It was the first year girl who had stuck around. She was a Muggleborn, but still had the air of Nobility that many Purebloods wished they could have with the 'pure' personality to match...so long as you didn't piss her off. Then she'd pound you into the ground with no problems at all. She had long, golden blond hair styled into tight curls and tied back with large, blue ribbons and her outfit was also blue.

"Should I come back later?" I asked.

"No, I just caught this buffoon trying to help himself to other people's gifts," sniffed the girl as she turned to me.

Now, despite being the the same class and House, its impossible to really know everyone, especially when one has completely different social circles. As such, its not completely irrational that we'd never really encountered each other. What doesn't make a lick of sense is how in the hell we hadn't recognized one another sooner.

"Wha...you're that oaf Dursley's cousin!"

"You're that girl who beat the snot out of Dudley!"

We said at the same time. We stared at each other for a moment, before bursting out laughing.

"Whoa, small world," I said, as I descended the steps fully and stepped over Ron's incensed form, "So, since we're apparently from the same area and housemates, lets introduce ourselves properly. Harry Potter, Fates spitoon."

The girls snorted.

"A pleasure to meet you Mr Potter," she said, "I am Luviagelita Edelfelt, but you may call me Luvia."

I blinked a few times. That name seemed oddly familiar...after a moment, I shrugged it off as unimportant and instead turned to the tree.

"So, what did you do to get banished to Scotland over the holidays?" I asked as I started sorting through the gifts to find mine.

"My Father is involved in some rather...sensitive business right now," said Luvia, "He requested that I remain here so I don't accidentally get caught up in something nasty. Its bad enough that my sisters running around, but at least she knows not to go into Fathers Workshop."

"Your dads a workman?" I asked.

"More like a scientist," said Luvia, "Whats that?"

"I have no idea," I said as I held up the, frankly, hideous green jumper with a big H on the chest, "I think its from the Weasley matriarch though. Why she sent me such a thing I have no idea."

"I think our dear Mother…"

"...is under the impression that you and Ronniekins are friends," said the Twins as they rounded the corner.

They didn't even glance at their brother as they entered the room.

"Alright, may I ask why?" I asked, "I mean, I would have thought even a half blind sloth would have figured out I hated his guts."

"Honestly Harry…"

"...we have no idea."

The Twins wished us a merry christmas and left to do...whatever it was they did when they went of on their own. I glanced down at the home made fudge that came with the jumper and delicately placed it to one side. I didn't trust it not to be stuffed to the gills with potions. Other than the Weasley jumper, I got a book on Transfiguration from Hermione, another on Herbology from Neville and a third on high end physics from Saten. That left one, very light parcel that I would happily bet my wand contained the Cloak. Fortunately, Luvia had already headed off somewhere so no one other than Dumbles would know about the Cloak and I'd have some privacy to scan it to make sure the old codger hadn't done anything to it.

"Stupid fucking manipulative old goat fucker!" I muttered through gritted teeth as I finished dispelling the last of the many, MANY spells that had been lacing my Cloak, ranging from tracking spells to one that I think was meant to allow Dumbledore and Moody to see through my cloak.

The only one I left on was a compulsion charm that seemed to be leading to somewhere inside the castle. My best guess was that it was tied to the Mirror and I was rather curious as to what I'd see. If it wasn't...well, I can teleport, so it wasn't that hard to get away from anything that put me in danger, even if I did end up in Amsterdam.

* * *

That was for later though, right now I was more interested in having fun and Christmas Dinner was exactly what I needed for that. Between the incredibly Wizarding Crackers, incredibly food and the teachers getting tipsy, it was a truly enjoyable feast, even if it was a tad heavy. With that in mind, I decided to go and work off the feast. After a quick stop to change into something easier to move in, I came back down to find Luvia seemed to have had a similar idea and was currently stretching in the courtyard. Since there was a good number of classrooms off this area, it was charmed to be at a comfortable temperature all year round, making it the perfect place to train, so long as there weren't any other students around. Like me, she was wearing workout clothes and, like her dress earlier, they were blue. I smirked as I teleported a pair of padded gloves to my hands and slipped them on.

"Hey Luvia, you up for a spar?" I called as I tightened the velcro straps.

The blond looked up in surprise, taking in my shorts and tshirt I wore for my workouts, as well as the blue and gold padded gloves I was wearing, before she smirked and nodded.

"If you think you can take me," she said, "But aren't you Purebloods to good for good old fashioned fisticuffs?"

"Eh, I'm a Halfblood," I said with a shrug, "Besides, theres nothing like a good fight to get ones blood pumping."

"To true."

We both slipped into stances and readied ourselves, eyes scanning one another for the slightest hint of an opening. Then, an icicle on the edge of the courtyard where the charm was the weakest fell and we sprang into action. There was a dull boom as our fists collided together. I blinked as I realized I had subconsciously enhanced my strength, but it looked like Luvia had done the same, thank god. If she hadn't, I probably would have shattered her hand. Actually, she'd have done the same to me, but that's beside the point.

I twisted my wrist and grabbed her wrist, using her arm as a pivot point to swing up and around, aiming a kick at her head, which slammed into her forearm with another loud retort.

"Aw crap," I muttered as I felt Luvia grab my wrist and ankle.

She turned on her heel and threw me across the courtyard. I hit the fountain in the middle feet first and pushed back off, crushing the stone under the force. Luvia looked surprised I'd recovered so quickly, but crossed her arms in front of her face to block my counter. I smirked as I pushed off the air and shot off to the side, bouncing off another invisible platform to land an elbow to Luvia's kidney. She staggered a few steps and glared at me as I landed on my hands and flipped back to my feet.

"That was a dirty trick," she said.

"All's fair in love and war," I drawled.

Luvia glowered, before she smirked a smirk that made me seriously regret saying that.

"Oh really?" she asked.

I gulped. Luvia's smirk widened as she slammed her fists together and dropped back into her stance.

"Lets see if you can back that up!"

She charged and launched into a barrage of attacks that I was hard pressed to keep up with, both in speed and power. To compensate, I cranked up my enhancement, ignoring the slight burning sensation in my limbs as thin, green lines started to appear on my skin. At this speed, each of our strikes created loud booms as they connected and blasted holes in the flagstones when they hit the floor. We'd already decimated the fountain in the center and now the floor looked like someone had been letting of mines in it. This also had the effect of throwing up large clouds of dust, obscuring our vision and making the fight that much more interesting. It was thanks to that that I didn't notice Luvia ducking behind me as she dodged a strike to the diaphragm. I did however notice when she grabbed me around the middle with both hands.

"Oh sh…"

I was cut off as Luvia lifted me clean off the ground and slammed me head first into the flagstone floor. Needless to say, I tapped out after that considering that, despite the fact I'd strengthened my skull as much as I could with my magic to prevent it from cracking like an egg, it was still ringing like a bell.

"Next time we're using a proper sparring ring," I groaned as I pulled my head out of the floor.

"Sorry about that, I got carried away," said Luvia, looking sheepish.

The sound of an applause drew our attention to the edge of the courtyard where everyone else still in the castle was stood, likely having been drawn by the racket we were making, while Madam Pomfrey was hurrying towards us, looking annoyed.

"Honestly, what were you two thinking?!" she demanded as she started waving her wand over me, "Especially you Miss Edelfelt…you're lucky you didn't crush his skull!"

Luvia looked sheepish.

"Yes, well, its been awhile since I've had a decent spar," she said, "I got a little carried away."

Madam Pomfrey huffed and pulled me to my feet.

"You two are coming to the Hospital Wing," she said and dragged me towards the school, ignroing my protest.

"20 points from Gryffindor for damaging School property," said Flitwick as we passed him, "And 40 points to Gryffindor for an impressive display of Muggle and Magical fighting styles."

* * *

Dumbles POV

Dumbledore had gone right past worried and into terrified. He knew that his plans were ruined as soon as Minerva had dragged Mr Weasley into his office by the ear and demanded that he be placed on suspension, if not expelled, for beating up young Miss Granger. It had taken all his Grandfatherly charm and a compulsion or two to get Minerva to drop the issue and accept a heavy point loss and a month's detention. It wasn't like he could allow one of his most important pieces to be removed from the board, even if his value had dropped somewhat now he wasn't friends with Harry.

However, even with that little wrinkle, he was sure he could still regain control of the situation. Young Ginevra was due to start next year and that would be the perfect time to make a start the process of having Harry fall for her so Dumbledore could get his hands on the Potter fortune through the Weasleys once Harry completed his Destiny and died at Toms hand. Admittedly, with how Harry had been acting, he had been leery of giving Harry the Cloak, but it was something of his Fathers and the poor boy deserved something to remember them by before the end. Besides, thanks to the Charms he'd layered on it, it would only help in guiding the boy to his Destiny.

However, now he was seriously regretting gifting the Cloak to Harry after seeing the devastation he and Miss Edelfelt had wrought in the courtyard. 11 year old children should NOT be able to blast craters in solid stone with nothing but their fists, to say nothing of the fact that the Magic running through said stone increased its strength significantly! The last time he'd seen something like that was during the war with Grindelwald when that Brunestud girl had completely obliterated an entire company of Grindelwald's forces, the town they were hiding in and most of the surrounding area with nothing but her bare fists. Admittedly, that was a tad more impressive, but its not like seeing people punch holes in stone is an everyday sight in the Wizarding World!

But that was beside the point. The reason Dumbledore was so nervous was that, if Harry was competent, he may actually manage to defeat Tom, which would utterly ruin all of Dumbledore's plans. He was already far too good with Magic for Dumbledore's liking, but his apparent skill in Muggle fighting and his sheer physical strength...it made Dumbledore wonder if the young Potter was entirely Human. He'd just have to hope that the Mirror would give him something to use to get Harry back under control or, failing that, the potions that laced the fudge Molly had sent Harry should serve to bring him back to Ronald. Still, perhaps he should make contingencies…

On his perch, Fawkes the Phoenix shook his head sadly as he watched his old friend slip further and further away. He let out a croon, followed by a shining tear as Dumbledore flinched slightly at the quiet but pure sound.

 **And done. Well, that was interesting. Since I decided to use the Fate Route, I decided to get started and smack you over the head with a blatant new character.**

 **In case your wondering, Harry hasn't figured out that Luvia is a Fate character because, well, why would he? I mean, we only see Luvia when she's 17 and she's currently 11. Not only does she have a lot of growing to do, but also Harry would never put two and two together without a blatant battering over the head with the truth. That'll come soon enough though.**

 **Yeahhh, Dumbles is evil. Or at least, hes certainly going that way. Don't expect Fawkes to stick around much longer!**

 **He also encountered one of the Brunestud sisters. Which one and why she was squashing Wizarding nazi's I'll leave up to you to figure out. I'll also leave it up to you to decided how Dumbles got away with his head still attached considering what his reaction to that probably was.**

 **Luvia is technically a Muggleborn since Wizards and Magus are completely different in just about every aspect. Hell, they mostly don't even know the other exists, although both are aware of the Magicians who use the Idol Theory. How could they not when Necessarius is a part of the Church?**

 **And with that, I'm done. Don't forget to leave a review on the way out!**


	10. Chapter 10

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 10

Fortunately, between strengthening my skull and the beauty of Magic, there wasn't actually anything wrong with me, despite having just been slammed head first into a solid stone floor hard enough to blast a crater in said stone. Pomfrey didn't seem to pleased and was muttering something about Potters giving her a headache as she sent me on my way with a headache draught to deal with the ringing in my head, much to my amusement. The rest of the day was spent in a massive snowball fight between everyone in the castle, with only Dumbledore not getting involved as he was nowhere to be seen. It was fun, but I was slightly distracted by what I had planned for tonight.

I intended to follow the Compulsion Charm on my Cloak to see where it would take me, mainly because I was willing to bet that Dumbles was currently distracted. So, that night, I waited until Ron was conked out, grabbed my Cloak and teleported to the library. Once there, I slung the Cloak around me and allowed my feet to lead the way. Sure enough, after a few minutes of walking, I reached an unused classroom with the dark shapes of desks and chairs piled against the walls and the Mirror propped against the wall facing me. It truly was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. I absently flicked my wand to dispel the last Compulsion as I slipped out from under the Cloak and stepped up to the Mirror.

Looking back at me was a taller version of me with a wide grin on his face and his arms around an older looking Saten and Hermione. Neville was also there and, in the background, I could see Lily and James clapping with proud smiles on their faces. I snorted. My greatest desire was to be recognized for doing something myself, as shown by a University graduation. I think that said a lot more about the Wizarding World than myself.

"You know, its rude to spy on People Headmaster," I said.

I didn't actually know if he was there or not, this was more a test. I hid a smirk as I heard a startled intake of breath.

"Good evening Harry," said Dumbledore as he dropped his Invisibility spell, "May I ask how you knew I was there?"

"Lucky guess," I said, turning away from the mirror.

"I see," said Dumbledore with a slight frown, "So, what do you think of the delights of the Mirror of Erised?"

"I think its a nice party trick, but not that useful," I said.

"Then I assume you have figured out what it does?" he asked.

"It shows ones deepest desire," I said, "Its not that hard considering it says just that up there."

I pointed at the inscription on the frame.

"Exactly," said Dumbledore, "You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible."

My eyebrows shot up at Dumbles assumption that I'd see my family as if I had no other desires. True, the Potters were there, but I think it was more symbolic of me getting out of their shadows than anything. I didn't correct him though. Let the crazy old man keep his little delusions for a while longer. I did comment on the latter part though.

"I think that says more about the Wizarding World than you might think," I said.

Dumbledore shot me a curious look.

"Why's that Harry?" he asked.

"Because, instead of attempting to make their dreams come true, they decided to remain here and die," I said, "Thats the choice of a weakling with no resolve. I have no intention of allowing my desires to remain a dream."

"No magic can reawaken the Dead Harry," said Dumbledore gently.

"I know that," I said, "But there are other, much more fun, ways to make a family."

I grinned at the old man as he looked scandalized.

"Now, its late and I'm going to bed," I said, "Goodnight Headmaster."

I left the old geezer standing in the room with the mirror and teleported back to bed as soon as I was out of his view.

* * *

A few weeks later, everyone returned from their holidays and I was treated to yet another near death experience. I had just come down for breakfast when a blur shot out of the crowd and grabbed me in a worryingly tight hug that made my ribs creak ominosly.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" said my attacker and I recognized his voice.

"Y-your welcome Neville," I gasped, "Now would you mind letting me go before my ribs break!"

Neville did as I asked and, once I had regained my breath, I greeted an amused looking Hermione and entered the Great Hall for breakfast as Neville explained why he had reacted like he had, all with a massive smile on his face. Apparently, Madam Longbottom had taken my advice, despite the protests from the rest of the family, and transferred the catatonic Longbottom's to a Muggle Hospital. It had taken them all of two days to determine that yes, it was possible to bring them out of their catatonia and had recommended them to a Hospital in Academy City where, with a combination of advanced technology. Esper powers and good old fashioned science, the Longbottoms were well on the road to recovery.

"Oh, that reminds me," said Neville, "The Doctor in charge of my parents recovery asked me to give you this."

I blinked as I took the proffered envelope and turned it over to reveal that it was sealed with a frog sticker.

"Really? Why?" I asked.

"No idea, but he seemed to recognize your name," said Neville.

I frowned and opened the letter, pulling out a sheaf of paper and a photograph. The picture showed the Frog Faced Doctor with a chubby baby on his lap. A baby with black hair and green eyes. Both my eyebrows shot up so quickly I'm surprised that they didn't shoot off into space and I snatched up the letter.

 _Dear Harry,_

It began.

 _I'm sure you must be wondering why I asked Mr Longbottom to give you this, but rest assured I have my reasons, as will soon become clear. My name, not that anyone uses it any more, is Henry Evens. People call me Heaven Canciller, the Frog Faced Doctor and, to you at least, Great Grandfather._

 _Yes, your mother was my Granddaughter, although I fear I didn't see her nearly as often as I wished. She was an incredible woman and would have made an excellent doctor, had she had chance to finish her degree before her Death, perhaps even surpassing me._

 _But thats besides the point. I'm sure you're wondering why I have never got in touch with you before, yes? Well, the truth is, I was not even aware that Lily and James were gone until I spoke with the Longbottoms. The fact no one has come to inform me is...disconcerting. I know that your parents intended for your Godfather to raise you, but he would definitely had come to inform me of the Potters deaths, so I fear that you may have been placed with Petunia and her oaf of a husband. If this is the case, know that you have only to come see me and I shall ensure that you have a place to call home here._

 _I pray that I am wrong and Sirius has simply forgotten, but I know better._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Henry Evens._

I slowly put down the letter, feeling more than a little hollow. However, rather than it being from the realization that I apparently had family (and I use the word lightly) other than the Dursleys, but rather the fact that I was apparently related to one of the Founders of Academy City.

"Whats wrong Harry?" asked Hermione when she caught the look on my face.

I wordlessly handed my friends the letter. When they reached the part about Heaven Canciller being my Grandpa, Hermione's eyes bulged.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" she shrieked, "Y-your related to Heaven Canciller?! The best Doctor in the world!?"

"Apparently so," I said.

Hermione whimpered and looked like she was about to faint.

"So, what are you going to do?" asked Neville who was much more composed.

"Well, it seems that I've got somewhere other than the Dursleys to stay this Summer," I said, "Its not like I ever really considered that place my home anyway."

I hid a smirk as Dumbledore, who had been walking past, went white when he heard that and sprinted out of the hall, no doubt to check on the state of the Blood Wards.

"Anyway, did you have a good Christmas Hermione?" I asked.

Hermione snapped out of her trance and glared at me.

"I did actually," she said, "Right up until I got board and read that book you sent me."

My grin widened. In keeping with keeping the name of Prongs alive and well, I had sent Hermione a copy of the The Alchemyst for christmas, just to see if she'd be able to figure it out. Apparently, she had.

"And? What did you think?" I asked innocently.

"I think you've known who Nicolas Flamel is the entire time," said Hermione.

I just smiled wider.

"YOU UTTER BASTARD!" roared Hermione, "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Because you never asked," I said, "And it was fun watching you stumble around in entirely the wrong direction."

Hermione looked like she was about to throttle me while Neville and I looked between us in confusion.

"Did I miss something?" he asked.

"The item Fluffy's guarding is the Philosopher's Stone," I said, "Its really the only thing it could be if Flamel's involved."

"WHAT?!" yelled Neville, before lowering his voice, "What the hell is something like the Philosophers Stone doing in a school!?"

Hermione blinked.

"Whats wrong with that?" she asked.

"Think about it," I said, "The Stone has the power to turn any metal into gold and produce the Elixir of Immortality. Can you imagine how many people would do practically anything to obtain that kind of power?"

Hermione paled as she did just that.

"Plus, its only been moved here this year," I said, "I bet whoever broke into Gringotts over the Summer was after the Stone."

Hermione and Neville went even paler.

"What the hell is Dumbledore thinking?!" hissed the Longbottom Heir, "Hes the only one who could have authorized this!"

"I don't know," I said, "But for now, theres nothing we can do about it."

"Oh my god!" gasped Hermione, "I bet the Stone is what Snapes after!"

Neville paled again while I stifled the urge to groan. This was going to result in a massive pain in my ass, I just knew it.

 **And I'm going to leave it here. Its a bit shorter than normal, but this works nicely as an end point.**

 **So, the Longbottoms are back on their feet...sort of, and we also discover that Harry has family in Academy City. My original plan had Heaven Canceller as Harrys Granddad, but he left Britain before Lily was born so I pushed him back a generation.**

 **I've been thinking about the Mirror scene for a while and this is what I came up with. Basically, the fact that Harrys every achievement in school is being brushed of as him being Lily and James' son or the Boy-Who-Lived, even if people aren't realizing it, and its starting to grate on his nerves. Oh, and no, it wasn't a conformation for pairings.**

 **Ohh dear, this won't end well for Dumbledore! Unfortunately, some things can't be averted by anything less than being elsewhere.**

 **For those wondering why Harry hasnt just teleported the Stone to his hand, there are a couple of reasons for it. First up, he hasn't actually thought about trying it. Another problem is that he needs to know the EXACT location and what it looks like before he can teleport it to him and, while he knows what they look like in the films, there's no guarantee that's what they actually look like in this world and a description from a book isn't enough.**

 **That'll do for now. Please leave a review on the way out!**


	11. Chapter 11

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 11

Fortunately for my sanity, with the end of the holidays, the school switched into exam mode, doing an excellent job of distracting Neville and Hermione from dragging me into some half cocked adventure due to an excessive amount of studying. We were also joined, more often than not, by Daphne and Tracy, as well as Luvia, who I continued to train with whenever we could to keep our skills sharp. Now we used a padded training room provided by the RoR though so there was less risk of me getting my head cracked open.

* * *

"I'll never remember this," groaned Neville during a study session one afternoon, throwing down his quill and looking longingly out of the library window.

It was the first nice day of the year and I couldn't help but agree with his desire to be outside.

Then again, he was probably more interested in the greenhouses we could see from where we were sitting. I glanced up and spotted a familiar hulking form skulking in the stacks. Or trying to at least.

"Hey Hagrid, what are you up to?" I called.

The Half Giant flinched, before shuffling into view, hiding something behind his back and looking very out of place in his moleskin overcoat.

"Just lookin'," he said, in a shifty voice that got all of my friends interest at once. "And what are you lot up to? You're not still lookin fer Nicolas Flamel, are you?"

"Nope, I already knew who he is," I said

"And we know what that dog's guarding, it's a Philosopher's St..." said Hermione.

I rolled my eyes at that. Fortunately, we three in the know were the only ones present as the Slytherins had a lesson and Luvia was doing some of her own work elsewhere. Still, talking about the Stone in the open is the height of idiocy I didn't expect from Hermione.

"Shhhh!" Hagrid looked around quickly to see if anyone was listening, "Don' go shouting about it, what's the matter with you?"

"There are a few things we wanted to ask you, as a matter of fact," said Neville, "About what's guarding the Stone apart from Fluffy..."

"SHHHH!" said Hagrid again. "Listen, come and see me later, I'm not promising I'll tell yeh anything, mind, but don't go rabbiting about it in here, students aren't supposed to know. They'll think I've told you!"

"See you later, then," said Neville.

Hagrid shuffled off.

"What was he hiding behind his back?" said Hermione thoughtfully, "Do you think it had anything to do with the Stone?"

"I highly doubt it," I said, "And it was a book on dragons."

Everyone looked at me.

"How do you know that?" Asked Hermione.

I just pointed at the bookshelf behind where Hagrid had been standing where a mirror was attached at the perfect angle to show me what he had been hiding.

"Oh."

"Why would Hagrid be looking up Dragons?" Asked Neville.

"I seem to remember one of the Twins mentioning that Hagrid always wanted a Dragon as a pet," I said.

"But it's against our laws," said Neville, "Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks' Convention of 1709, everyone knows that. It's hard to stop Muggles from noticing us if we're keeping dragons in the back garden and you can't tame dragons, it's dangerous.."

"It really doesn't help that Hagrid lives in a wooden house," I said.

"That too."

"So what on earth's Hagrid up to?" said Hermione.

"I have a nasty feeling I know," I muttered, "I really hope I'm wrong though."

I wasn't, of course.

* * *

"Remind me again why I'm here?" I growled as we made our way down towards Hagrids Hut.

"Because your friends with Hagrid and we'll probably need you to convince him not to do something stupid," said Hermione.

"Friends is a bit of a stretch," I muttered, but decided not to argue.

We arrived at the Gamekeeper's hut and were allowed in once Hagrid confirmed who it was. After refusing Stoat sandwiches and accepting a cup of delicious tea, Hagrid decided to stop stalling.

"So, you wanted to ask me something?" He asked eventually after stalling for a while.

"Yes," said Hermione, "We were wondering if you could tell us what's guarding the Stone apart from Fluffy."

Hagrid frowned at her.

"Of course I can't," he said, "Number one, I don't know myself, number two, you know too much already, so I wouldn't tell you if I could. That Stone's here for a good reason. It was almost stolen from Gringotts. I suppose you've worked that out haven't you? Beats me how you even know about Fluffy."

"Oh, come on, Hagrid, you might not want to tell us, but you do know, you know everything that goes on round here," said Hermione in a warm, flattering voice.

Hagrid's beard twitched and I could tell he was smiling. Ah flattery, the greatest weapon in an interrogators arsenal.

"We only wondered who had done the guarding, really," continued Hermione, "We wondered who Dumbledore had trusted enough to help him, apart from you."

Hagrid's chest swelled at these last words and I mentally adjusted my assessment of the large man. Apparently he was still rather dim if that worked on him.

"Well, I don't suppose it could hurt to tell you that," he said, "let's see, he borrowed Fluffy from me, then some of the teachers did enchantments. Professor Sprout, Professor Flitwick, Professor McGonagall, Professor Quirrell and Dumbledore himself did something, of course. Hang on, I've forgotten someone. Oh yeah, Professor Snape."

It said something about Snapes outlook in this world that neither of my friends were worried by that. In fact, they seemed rather relieved. It seemed that the realization that I was nothing like James had done something to help Snape grow up a bit. Oh, I'm not going to claim that he was a good teacher, that was something he himself had admitted to when I had spoken to him once, but he had at least stopped being a foul git to the Gryffindors and massively favoring the Slytherins.

"You're the only one who knows how to get past Fluffy, aren't you, Hagrid?" said Neville anxiously, "And you wouldn't tell anyone, would you? Not even one of the teachers?"

"Not a soul knows except me and Dumbledore," said Hagrid proudly.

"Play some music and he'll go to sleep," I said.

Everyone stared at me and Hagrid looked like I'd just kicked his dragon egg into the lake.

"How do you know that?" He asked, looking suspicious.

"The legend of Orpheus in Greek Mythology," I said, "According to legend, the poet Orpheus was able to put Cerberus to sleep and enter the Underworld by playing his lyre. Admittedly, he was supposed to be supernaturally good, but it wouldn't be that far out of the realm of imagination to assume that the same would work on Fluffy and apparently I'm right."

Hagrid looked crestfallen. I sighed and moved to comfort the gentle giant.

"Look Hagrid, I may know it, but from what I can tell, the Legend of Orpheus isn't well known in the Wizarding World, so I wouldn't worry about it," I said, "And don't worry, we won't tell anyone."

Hagrid looked a bit better at that.

"Thanks Harry," he said, "Your a good kid. Just like your Mother."

My eye twitched. That was starting to get very, very annoying.

"Hey Hagrid, can we open a window?" Asked Neville, "Its boiling in here!"

"Sorry Neville, can't," said Hagrid.

"Would that have anything to do with the Dragon egg in the fire?" I asked.

"WHAT?"

Everyone turned to look at the fire where, as stated, a huge, black egg rested in the heart of the flames.

"Where did you get it, Hagrid?" said Neville, crouching over the fire to get a closer look at the egg, "It must've cost you a fortune."

"Won it," said Hagrid, "Last night. I was down in the village having a few drinks and got into a game of cards with a stranger. Think he was quite glad to get rid of it, to be honest."

"But what are you going to do with it when it's hatched?" Said Hermione.

"Well, I've been doing some reading," said Hagrid, pulling a large book from under his pillow, "Got this outta the library, Dragon Breeding for Pleasure and Profit, it's a bit outta date, of course, but it's all in here. Keep the egg in the fire, 'cause their mothers breathe on them, and when it hatches, feed it on a bucket of brandy mixed with chicken blood every half hour. And see here, it says how to recognise different eggs. Not sure what I got though, I couldn't find it in the book."

He looked very pleased with himself, but Hermione didn't.

"Hagrid, you live in a wooden house," she said.

But Hagrid wasn't listening. He was humming merrily as he stoked the fire.

* * *

"I wonder what its like to have a quiet life?" asked Neville who was starting to look quite frazzled from all the homework, Hermiones crazy study habits and worrying about Hagrids Dragon.

"Boring," I drawled as I put the finishing touches to my Potions essay.

Neville shot me an odd look.

"Weren't you the one who wanted nothing to do with Hagrids Dragon egg?" he asked.

"Oh, thats because it'll cause more headaches than anything," I said, "Plus, right now I'm more interested in getting all this homework done and getting a good grade on my exam."

"Its nice to know someones taking this seriously," said Hermione, who was looking even more stressed than Neville.

* * *

Then, after Herbology one day, Kuroka brought me another note from Hagrid, although I still have no idea how he managed to convince the cat to do so. He had written only two words: It's hatching.

For some reason Hermione and Neville though it would be a good idea to discuss the Dragon out in the open where anyone could hear them. I bopped the two on the heads to get them to shut up.

"OW, what was that for Harry?" asked Hermione.

"Discussing sensitive information in public at high volume," I deadpanned.

My friends blushed and shut up. I knew it was already too late though as I spotted Malfoy a few feet away and he had stopped dead to listen. The little Ferret had been keeping his distance after the Platypus incident, but I knew he'd make excellent use of this information. I sighed. I knew this whole issue was gonna give me a headache…

* * *

After dinner, the three ducked under the Cloak and hustled down to the into the grounds and across the lawns to Hagrids Hut. Hagrid greeted us, looking flushed and excited.

"It's nearly out." He ushered us inside.

Now, I may be adverse to getting involved with the drama around the Dragon, but even I couldn't turn down the idea of watching an actual Dragon hatch. The egg was lying on the table. There were deep cracks in it and I could see something was moving inside. We all drew our chairs up to the table and watched with bated breath.

All at once there was a scraping noise and the egg split open. The baby dragon flopped onto the table. It wasn't exactly pretty, all gangly limbs and black scales. It had a pair of twisted horns emerging from its head and a tail that ended in a fork. It also had lines of dark purple scales down each leg and aqua coloured eyes. However, even with its odd and less than elegant appearance, it still had the air of a majestic beast and...kinship? I blinked. Why the hell did I feel a sense of kinship with the baby Dragon? I leaned in for a closer look, only for the Dragons eyes to snap to mine in response to my movement.

I gasped as it felt like all the air was pushed out of my lungs as, for a brief moment, I felt a frankly obscene amount of power pouring out of the Dragon before me. It felt like it was somehow turning the air it inhaled into raw magical energy. However, that had to be…

"Harry?"

I jerked as I was snapped out of my trance. I blinked and looked around at my friends who were eyeing me worriedly.

"Are you OK?" asked Hermione.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," I said.

"Isn't he beautiful?" Hagrid murmured.

He reached out a hand to stroke the dragon's head. It snapped at his fingers, showing pointed fangs.

"Bless him, look, he knows his mommy!" said Hagrid.

The Dragon shot Hagrid a look I can only describe as incredulous.

" _Idiot can't even see I'm a girl. No way I'm staying with him!"_

Both my eyebrows shot up.

"Er, Hagrid, I think this is a female," I said.

Hagrid looked at me in confusion while the Dragons head snapped around to stare at me. It moved towards, sniffing at my hands where they rested on the table, before it let out a happy squeak and jumped off the table and onto my shoulder, nuzzling its nose into my cheek.

" _Yay, you understand me!"_ it chirped.

" _Apparently so,"_ I said.

The others all jerked in surprise.

"What?"

"Y-you just growled like a Dragon!" said Neville.

I blinked. Well, that was a tad unexpected. Apparently I still had the ability to speak to Serpents, although its apparently upgraded if I can talk to Dragons.

"Really? Huh…" I trailed off, "Hey Hermione, have you ever read anything about being able to talk to Dragons?"

Hermione blinked.

"Not that I can think of," she said, "I've read about Parseltongue, but I've never seen anything about speaking with Dragons."

"Huh...well then, I guess I must be an anomaly," I said, "I can understand her."

"Understand who?" asked Hermione.

"The Dragon," I said, rubbing said reptile's head.

CHOMP!

My eye twitched as the Dragons teeth sank into my finger.

"OK, I'm going to go with OW!" I said as everyone else stared wide eyed.

A moment later, the Dragon let go and flared her wings, a distinctly smug air about her as bright, golden symbols began to appear on the webs. I winced as a faint burning sensation came from my forearm. I pulled my sleeve up, just in time to see a black and purple dragon burn itself into my skin like a tattoo.

"Well, thats one problem down," said Neville once he managed to close his mouth.

Hagrid looked mournful, but was somehow still smiling.

"Whys that?" I asked.

"Harry, the Dragon just bonded to you as a Familiar," said Hermione, who was wide eyed, "Normally Familiars are just pets who gain Magic and a bit of intelligence over time, but occasionally, intelligent, magical animals chose to bond to Wizards. Usually its Kneazles or Crups or something like that. I didn't even know that Dragons were intelligent enough to bond with a Wizard!"

" _Most aren't,"_ said the Dragon on my shoulder, _"But I'm not like the low level Drakes you Wizards call Dragons! I'm a True Phantasm and my Father is one of the Dragon Kings, Fafnir!"_

I nearly choked on my tongue at that.

"WHAT?!" I spluttered, "Are you serious?"

" _No, thats your Godfather."_

"I...wait, how the hell do you know that joke?" I asked.

" _We're bonded, I can read your mind."_

"I see."

"Whats she saying Harry?" asked Neville.

"That she's not a normal Dragon," I said, "Apparently she's quite the little princess."

I turned to Hermione.

"So, whats the rule with Familiers?"

"Well, it basically means that, no matter what, no one can take it from you," she said, "Even if they did, it could just teleport right to your side."

" _OI, I have a name you know!"_ hissed the Dragon.

"Actually, you kinda don't," I said.

" _Sure I do. The one you're thinking works fine."_

I blinked.

"Wait, so you actually want to be called Lizzie?"

Lizzie the Dragon nodded and nuzzled closer, purring happily.

"Why Lizzie?" asked Neville.

"I have no idea," I grumbled.

Hagrid was about to say something when the colour suddenly drained from his face. He leapt to his feet and ran to the window.

"What's the matter?" Asked Neville

"Someone was looking through the gap in the curtains," he said, "It's a student, he's running back up to the school!"

I sighed as everyone else bolted to the door and looked out. Yeah, this is going to end badly.

* * *

"Nothing, I repeat, nothing, gives a student the right to walk about the school at night," said Mcgonagall as she glared across the desk at us.

Despite the fact she was wearing a hairnet and a tartan dressing gown, it did nothing to lessen the intensity of the glare. After leaving Hagrids Hut, we returned to the castle, only to find Mcgonagall and a smug looking Malfoy waiting for us. The egg had taken longer to hatch than we thought and it was well past Curfew, which is why we were in so much trouble.

"Now, to ensure that you are aware of the seriousness of your actions, 50 points will be taken from each of you and all four of you will receive detention."

I just sighed and turned out the complaints from my companions.

"And as for you Potter, might I ask why you have a Dragon on your head?"

I blinked and looked up. Lizzie was currently nesting in my hair and didn't seem like she planned on moving any time soon.

"Ah, yeah, about that," I said, "She kinda bonded with me as a Familiar."

Mcgonagall's eyebrows shot up as I pulled my sleeve up to reveal the symbol on my arm. On my head, Lizzie flared her wings to show off the runes on them that proved our bond on her end.

"I see," said Mcgonagall, rubbing her eyes, "Very well, I will help you get it registered with the Ministry tomorrow. For now, I suggest you all get to bed and desist in any further nighttime wanderings."

We all obeyed and headed to bed lest Mcgonagall pile on more punishments.

 **And end. Well, that was interesting. I have to admit, I didn't actually plan this, it just sort of snowballed. Still, it should provide some interesting events in the future.**

 **Hmm, I wonder why Harry can understand Dragontongue? It couldn't be from the Horcrux since it doesn't exist in this world. Could there be some great secret buried in his DNA? Perhaps, I guess we'll just have to wait and see!**

 **The idea of a Familiar biting its Master to form the Bond came from Fates Gamble, the tattoo was based on Orochimaru's from Naruto and the runes came from Familiar of Zero...sort of.**

 **Yeahhhh, having Lizzie around is probably gonna be quite the headache considering shes only just hatched and shes already a sassy little soandso. I also doubt that Kuroka's gonna take to kindly to her.**

 **Oh, and before I forget, while I did base Lizzies design somewhat on Elizabeth Báthory's Heroic Spirit, she is NOT a Heroic Spirit in Dragon form or anything. She doesn't need it. Shes a Phantasm and the Daughter of a Dragon King. Shes not hurting for power. Or rather, she won't be once she grows up a bit.**

 **And with that, I'm done. Don't forget to leave a review on the way out!**


	12. Chapter 12

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 12

Needless to say, after that particular incident no one was very pleased with us, although no one seemed to willing to raise an issue after Lizzie introduced herself by blasting Ron through three walls with her Sonic Breath. That didn't stop us from becoming social pariahs in the house though, not that I honestly cared. I personally found the whole thing extremely childish since its not like winning the House Cup did anything other than give Mcgonagall a shiny cup for her office for the year. Plus, I was much more interested in exploring exactly what my Familiar Bond with Lizzie meant.

As it turned out, quite a bit. The bond went both ways, which meant I could read Lizzie's thoughts just as she could mine, although we quickly learnt to close of the link if needs be. We could also share vision, although that was mostly me using her senses. Still, it was cool to be able to see through her eyes while she was flying.

* * *

Unfortunately, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows since Kuroka met Lizzie. Now that had been an...interesting? Event. I already knew that Lizzie was at least as smart as Hermione and twice as sassy, but that meeting proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kuroka was NOT a normal cat. I could only understand one half of the conversation, but it was obvious that my pet and Familiar were arguing over me. I just sat in my seat as I tried to figure out if it was actually possible to sweatdrop in this world. Seriously, judging from what Lizzie was saying, it sounded like the sort of argument two rivals in a god damn Harem Anime would have! I could practically see Lizzie hugging my arm to her chest if she had a Human form.

Fortunately, I was distracted from my Familiers catfight by the arrival of Hermione and Neville, the latter of whom looked thoughtful.

"Whats up?" I asked.

Neville looked surprised by the question, but told Hermione and I that he had overheard Quirrell talking to someone in an empty classroom, begging them to not be made to do something. My friends weren't sure what to make of it, but I kept my mouth shut and made a mental note to make sure I took Lizzie with me to the detention.

* * *

Sure enough, the next morning we were greeted by messages from Mcgonagall that informed us that we would need to meet Filch in the Great Hall at 11. I frowned as I read the note. Something seemed off about this and not just because we were being punished for being out of bounds after hours by being sent into a place that was out of bounds after hours. No, what was bothering me was the handwriting on the note. It looked a lot like Mcgonagall's from her marking on my work, but there was just something slightly off about it.

"Hmm, I smell a rat," I muttered.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"Oh, nothing," I said as I tucked the note into my pocket.

* * *

At eleven o'clock that night, we headed down to the Entrance Hall where Filch was already waiting with Malfoy.

"Follow me," said Filch, lighting a lamp and leading them outside.

"I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh?" he said, leering at us, "Oh yes . . . hard work and pain are the best teachers if you ask me. . . . It's just a pity they let the old punishments die out . . . hang you by your wrists from the ceiling for a few days, I've got the chains still in my office, keep 'em well oiled in case they're ever needed. . . . Right, off we go, and don't think of running off, now, it'll be worse for you if you do."

"Where exactly would we go?" I asked.

"Couldn't you go anywhere in the world?" hissed Neville.

"Good point," I said.

We marched off across the dark grounds, our path lit by the three quarter moon as much as Filches lantern. Ahead, I could see the lighted windows of Hagrid's hut.

"Is that you, Filch? Hurry up, I want ter get started."

I snorted. Looks like some things never change, although I do have to wonder who was behind this. Mcgonagall wasn't the type to put students in danger and this definitely counted. I made a mental note to ask her about this tomorrow. Filtch must have taken my snort for a sigh of relief because he spoke up again.

"I suppose you think you'll be enjoying yourself with that oaf?" he sneered, "Well, think again, boy — it's into the forest you're going and I'm much mistaken if you'll all come out in one piece."

At this, Neville let out a little moan, and Malfoy stopped dead in his tracks.

"The forest?" he repeated, and he didn't sound quite as cool as usual, "We can't go in there at night — there's all sorts of things in there — werewolves, I heard."

"Malfoy, its not the Full Moon tonight, so werewolves won't be that dangerous," I said, "Besides, I'm taking Lizzie."

"Who?" asked Malfoy, apparently to scared to be rude or even think straight.

In answer, I whistled and the Dragon hatchling swooped down behind Malfoy and let out a loud shriek. Malfoy jumped about a foot in the air and screamed like a little girl as my Familiar landed on my shoulder, laughing uproariously.

" _BWAHAHAHA, the little ferret pissed himself!"_ she crowed as she snapped up the strip of meat I'd saved for her.

The little comedy segment seemed to calm down Neville and Hermione, although that might have something to do with the presence of the baby Dragon who had already proved herself to be very formidable. Malfoy didn't seem as calm though, in fact, he looked downright murderous. Before he could say anything though, Hagrid approched, looking oddly grim.

"Abou' time," he said, "I bin waitin' fer half an hour already. All right you three?"

"I shouldn't be too friendly to them, Hagrid," said Filch coldly, "they're here to be punished, after all."

"That's why yer late, is it?" said Hagrid, frowning at Filch, "Bin lecturin' them, eh? 'Snot your place ter do that. Yeh've done yer bit, I'll take over from here."

"I'll be back at dawn," said Filch, "for what's left of them."

He grinned nastily as he turned and started back toward the castle, his lamp bobbing away in the darkness. Malfoy turned to Hagrid as soon as the caretaker left.

"I'm not going in that forest," he said with panic clear in his voice.

"Yeh are if yeh want ter stay at Hogwarts," said Hagrid fiercely, "Yeh've done wrong an' now yeh've got ter pay fer it."

"Even so, this feels a little OTT, not to mention backwards," I said.

"What do you mean Harry?" asked Hagrid.

"Well, we're being punished for being out of bed after hours...by being sent into a place thats supposed to be off limits after hours," I said, "Anyone else feeling like somethings fishy?"

"Now that you mention it," said Hermione.

"Look, thats besides the point," said Hagrid, looking a tad uncomfortable, "Your here now so lets get to it."

"But this is servant stuff, it's not for students to do," said Malfoy, "I thought we'd be copying lines or something, if my father knew I was doing this, he'd —"

"— tell yer that's how it is at Hogwarts," Hagrid growled, "Copyin' lines! What good's that ter anyone? Yeh'll do summat useful or yeh'll get out. If yeh think yer father'd rather you were ex-

pelled, then get back off ter the castle an' pack. Go on!"

Malfoy didn't move. He looked at Hagrid furiously, but then dropped his gaze.

"Right then," said Hagrid, "now, listen carefully, 'cause it's dangerous what we're gonna do tonight, an' I don' want no one takin' risks. Alright, lets go. Make sure you all stay close."

I looked around at the dark trees as Hagrid lead us into the Forest. I normally liked forests, but I really didn't like being in them after dark and this one was no exception. In fact, it might actually be worse and the low lying fog really want helping the creepy atmosphere.

"Look there," said Hagrid, drawing us to a stop, "See that stuff shining on the ground? Silvery stuff? That's unicorn blood. There's a unicorn somewhere in here thats been hurt badly by something. This is the second time in a week and I found one dead last Wednesday. We're gonna try and find the poor thing and, if necessary, put it out of its misery."

"And what if whatever hurt the unicorn finds us first?" asked Malfoy, looking around worriedly.

"Well, we have Fang and Lizzie," I said, pointing at the Dragon.

"Like I said earlier, there's nothing that lives in the forest that'll hurt you if yer with me or Fang," said Hagrid resolutely, "And keep to the path. Right, now, we're gonna split into two parties and follow the trail in different directions. There's blood all over the place, it must've been staggering around since last night at least."

"I want Fang," said Malfoy, eyeing the dogs sharp teeth.

"Thats fine," said the big man, "But I warn you, Fangs a coward."

"Yeah, thats why we got Lizzie," I said, "Anything that does want to attack us will think twice with her around."

"Good point. Alright, Harry, Lizzie and Malfoy will go with Fang and Neville and Hermione will come with me. Now, if any of us finds the unicorn, we'll send up green sparks, right? Get your wands out and practice now."

We did as we were told.

"Thats it. If anyone gets in trouble, send up red sparks, and we'll all come and find you. Be careful."

We all nodded, before splitting up.

* * *

The journey was quiet, although Malfoy kept shooting glares at me, which I ignored. He wouldn't be stupid enough to try something here, not with Lizzie on my shoulder. I kept one eye on the blood trail which was getting thicker as we continued through the trees. Eventually, we rounded a large oak and I threw my arm out, stopping Malfoy in his tracks.

"What…"

"Look," I hissed.

In the middle of the clearing lay the Unicorn, stone dead. Even so, it was the most beautiful and sad thing I had ever seen. Its long, slender legs were stuck out at odd angles where it had fallen and its mane was spread pearly-white on the dark leaves. I narrowed my eyes as I scanned the clearing, searching for what I knew was coming. On my shoulder, Lizzie let out a quiet hiss, baring her fangs.

" _Something smells foul,"_ she hissed as she took off and swooped off into the dark.

At that moment, the cloaked form of Quirrelmort glided out of the shadows and moved over to the dead Unicorn. It bent and began to drink…

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Malfoy let out a terrible scream and bolted with Fang on his heels. The hooded figure raised its head and looked right at me and I froze. While I couldn't see his eyes, I somehow knew our eyes had met and a sensation of revolution rolled over me. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me that the being before me could not, _should not,_ exist. For a moment, the forest around me seemed to drop away, leaving nothing but me and Quirrelmort stood in an empty black space. Coiled around the evil Wizards body was a massive white serpent with seven heads, although one was looking decidedly dead. Actually, the entire serpent looked terrible, all skin and bones with black ooze dripping from between its scales and mouths and a hazy film over its red eyes. Still, despite its sickly appearance, it was still dangerous and, even with its eyes covered, I could still see the glimmer of insanity in its eyes.

Then, Quirrelmort shifted and the illusion vanished as I dove to the side to avoid a spell that sliced a deep gouge in the tree trunk behind me.

"Well, thats not very friendly," I muttered as I drew my wand and returned fire with some spells that were most definitely not from my pranking repertoire.

Quirrelmort quickly threw up a shield that deflected my spells that blew a holes in the muddy floor. The evil Wizard stared at the hole for a moment, before turning back to me. I shrugged.

"You try to kill me, I'll return the favor," I said and unleashed a barrage of spells that can best be described as unfriendly.

Quirrelmort deflected them and returned fire, filling the clearing with a blinding dance of flashing lights that quickly reduced the trees to splinters, the ground to dust and Unicorn corpse to pulp. Of course, while I was certainly a very skilled First Year, I was still a, well, First Year and Quirrelmort had a lot of experience on me, not to mention far more power and access to spells I had no idea even existed. As such, it shouldn't be that much of a surprise when Quirrelmort sent a bolt of purple light at me that moved with surprising speed and tagged my leg as I dove out of the way. I yelped and collapsed as my trouser leg was torn to shreds and multiple gashes opened on my leg, shredding my muscles. Naturally, with my muscles now in shreds, I collapsed, losing my grip on my wand.

I looked up as Quirrelmort moved towards me, raising his wand. Fortunately, Lizzie chose that moment to swoop down with a shriek and unleashed a blast of Mana enhanced sound that blew Quirrelmort of his feet and across the clearing. She swooped around and dove towards the Possessed teacher. Before she could claw his eyes out however, there was a loud bang and she fell to the floor with an enraged shriek, tightly bound in rope. Sure, Dragons might be resistant to Magic, but Conjuration creates physical objects and those Dragons aren't immune to.

With Lizzie incapacitated, Quirrelmort stood and started gliding towards me again, the tip of a wand with a glowing green tip emerged from the sleeve of his robe. I scrabbled back, reaching for my wand as Quirrelmort advanced, using my Occlumency to blot out the pain of my shredded leg. Unfortunately, it was just a tad to far for me to reach. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Quirrelmort looming over me. I could see his mouth, gleaming with silver blood, twisted into a dark grin as he raised his wand…

Then, I heard hooves behind me, galloping, and something jumped clean over me, charging at the figure with a sword. Quirrelmort let out a hiss of fury and pain as the sword cleaved his wand and hand clean in two. He spun around and flew away into the dark. With the wrath now gone, I shifted the last few inches and grabbed my wand, casting a spell I'd found in the library to wrap up my leg in bandages to prevent me from bleeding out.

"Are thou alright?"

I looked up, blinked a few times, shook my head and looked again. The Centaur stood over me was most definitely not Ferenze. For starters, it was a female and for another, her Human half looked about 16 with light blue eyes and long, blond hair tied up in a ponytail (hah) with a pair of horse-like ears sticking out the side of her head. Her horse half was pale brown and her actual tail was the same colour as her hair. Her Human half was covered in a padded leather jerkin that seemed to be struggling to contain her impressive bust and she had a large sheath strapped to her lower half. In her hand was the sword that went into said sheath, a massive claymore that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to lift with both hands.

"I think so," I said, "But I don't think I can walk on this. Could you help me up?"

The Centaur offered me her hand and hauled me to my feet.

"Thanks," I said as I limped over to Lizzie.

" _GET ME OUT OF THIS!"_ she yelled.

"Diffindo," I said, pointing my wand at the ropes.

The conjured ropes snapped and my Familiar rolled to her feet, flaring her wings in anger as she fluttered onto my shoulder.

" _Next time I see that thing, I swear I'm gonna rip its head off!"_ she growled as she nuzzled my cheek with her nose, _"Are you OK?"_

"I'll be fine," I said, "What about you?"

" _Same,"_ said Lizzie.

I looked up at the Centaur who was looking down at me and Lizzie curious.

"Thanks for your help," I said.

"Tis no problem," she said, "tis the duty of a Knight to help others."

My eyebrows shot up. That was kinda unexpected.

"You are the Potter boy, correct?" asked the Centaur.

"Thats me," I said.

"You had better get back to Hagrid," said the Centaur, "The forest is not safe at this time, especially for you. Come, I will guide you."

I nodded and got to my feet. My leg was stiff and walking was painful, but the Centaur moved next to me and helped me stay upright.

"By the way, whats your name?" I asked.

"My name is Centorea," said the Centaur.

My eye twitched. I really hope this won't become a thing later on. Then, the sound of pounding hooves reached our ears and Centorea tensed. A moment later, a massive male with wild, black hair and horses body burst from the trees, an even bigger sword than Centorea's in his hand. At the sight of me leaning on the female, his eyes narrowed and I swear that a puff of steam came out his nostrils.

"Centorea, what are you doing?" thundered the newcomer, "I specifically told you to stay away from any Humans that entered our woods!"

He took a closer look at me and, if possible, looked even angrier.

"Especially this fateless child!"

"But Father…" started Centorea.

"We are sworn to observe only, never interfere with the decrees of the Stars," snarled the belligerent Centaur, "And to remain far, far away from Humans, especially a Fateless One like this."

He sneered at me.

"No good will come from interacting with him. In fact, were it not for the fact that his Ministry would no doubt slaughter us like cattle if I did, I would kill him right here and now."

At that, Lizzie tensed and flared her wings, hissing menacingly at the Centaur. I calmed her down with a hand on her back.

"Don't bother Lizzie, hes not worth it," I muttered.

I gritted my teeth and pushed off Centorea. To my surprise, despite being prepared for the pain of putting weight on my injured leg, it didn't hurt at all. I didn't unwrap it though, no need to tempt fate. Instead, I turned to my savior.

"Thanks for the help Centorea," I said, "I'd probably have been in deep trouble if you hadn't helped."

I ignored the other Centaurs snort of anger.

"I hope you don't get into to much trouble because of me."

Centorea shook her head.

"Don't worry, it was a pleasure," she said.

I raised my wand and was about to send up some sparks, but before I could, a bushy headed missile slammed into my chest and knocked me back a few steps.

"Oh, hello Hermione," I said.

"Are you OK Harry?" asked my friend as she let go and started checking me for injuries.

At the sight of the bloodstained bandages around my leg, she let out a startled gasp and looked up at me.

"I'll tell you later," I said.

"Hello Bane," growled Hagrid, glaring at the black Centaur, "Centorea."

"Good evening Hagrid," said Centorea with a polite bow.

Bane scoffed and turned his back on Hagrid.

"Come Daughter, we have lingered long enough," he growled.

He shot a glare at me.

"Now your friends are here, leave this place," he snarled, "And make sure you do not return or you will regret it."

He galloped away.

"Goodbye Harry Potter," said Centorea before she followed her Father.

"Well, that was fun," I said, "So, can we go to bed now?"

 **And done. Before anyone says anything, Centorea was added in for a GAG and nothing else. Any chance of Monster Musume being added is basically impossible since it won't be another ten years before those events roll around. I'm not above adding in a few more gags like that though.**

 **So, Harry intends to see if he can't cause some more chaos by bringing up the issue with Mcgonagall. Punishment or not, sending three First Years into the Forest is not something he expected this Mcgonagall to do.**

 **The only reason that Harry was able to stand up to Quirrelmort in that duel is because the Dork Lord wasn't expecting him to be that skilled, go for the kill and he was weakened from having only just drunk the Unicorn blood. Under normal circumstances, Harry shouldn't have stood a chance. Hes not that good...yet.**

 **We probably don't have that much left of First Year, so I'll ask this now. Do you lot want me to split this up into different stories for different years, or do you want me to wait until I have Harry bugger off before starting a new book?**

 **And with that, I am done. Don't forget to leave a review on the way out!**


	13. Chapter 13

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **Right, before we get going, I need to address a few points people keep bringing up. First up, why Harry doesn't just teleport to the Horcruxes or teleport them to him. That reason it twofold. First of all, he doesn't care enough about the Wizarding World to actually help them without a damn good reason and secondly, he forgot. That might seem like a copout, but how many times have you been in the thick of things and only realized you could have done something to make your life easier after the fact?**

 **Second is why Harry seems to happy to just follow canon. Well, its for the EXACT same reason that any other SI or OC insert does so, to preserve the timeline...for now. Things WILL begin to diverge and soon, but don't expect Harry to be dealing with the Basilisk before he has to. All Outsiders inherit a little of my personality traits and, unfortunately for the Wizarding World, this one got my apparthy. If it doesn't involve me or my friends, I just don't care enough to do anything about it. Oh, he'll make an effort to prevent Hermione getting zapped into a statue, but while Harry is fateless, other people are not. Certain things WILL happen because they HAVE to happen.**

 **Oh, and don't bring up Sirius because I have plans for him.**

 **Anyway rant over now you can Enjoy the chapter!**

Chapter 13

The next morning I awoke in the Hospital Wing where I had headed to immediately after returning to the castle. Madam Pomfrey hadn't exactly been pleased to have been woken up at 1am, but had treated my injuries with only a small amount of muttered complaints. I only had to stay the night because, as previously stated, it was one in the morning and I really just wanted to sleep. As such, after one last checkup, Pomfrey let me go down to breakfast.

As I made my way down to the Great Hall, I passed the Third Floor corridor and paused. Up until now, I had been happy to just leave the Stone where it was and let Dumbledore fumble should Voldie actually manage to get his paws on it. Its not like I couldn't just teleport far FAR away should the idiot come after me and it wouldn't be that hard to convince my friends to leave considering Hermione was already starting to have misgivings towards the Wizarding World and the Longbottoms were still in Academy City to speed their recovery, but now I felt more like screwing over Voldie. It may be a tad childish and petty, but I never claimed to be a mature adult. Besides, I really wanted to screw over Dumbledore, so I had to wonder what the Ministry would do if they found out Dumbledore was hiding something as valuable and potentially dangerous as the Philosophers Stone in the school.

With that in mind, I closed my eyes and focused on the image of the stone from the film and attempted to pull it to me through whatever subspace my power used to work. Nothing happened. I frowned and rolled through a few different forms the Stone could possible take. Again, zip. I frowned deeper and instead focused on the room as it appeared in the film. Hopefully, that would be enough to teleport directly in front of the Mirror.

CLANG!

"SON OF A BITCH!"

It felt like I'd run into a solid metal wall as I snapped back to my previous spot and went flying down the hall and into a wall with a crash. I groaned as I pushed myself up, pinching my bleeding nose shut.

" _Owwwww, lets not do that again,"_ groaned Lizzie from my shoulder as she rubbed her temples with her wings in a rather Human gesture.

"Agreed," I said, "But what the hell was that? I've never found anything that could block my teleport like that. If I couldn't get there without hurting myself, it just wouldn't work."

That was a useful aspect of my power that prevented me from accidentally teleporting into a wall or something. Oh, I could push through the block if I wanted to, but since I liked my body intact, I wouldn't be doing that anytime soon.

"Are you alright Potter?"

I opened my eyes and saw Professor Mcgonagall looking down at me in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, "Just tripped."

I slowly got to my feet, wincing as my head protested violently.

"Are you sure?" asked Mcgonagall, eyeing me skeptically, "Do you need to see the nurse?"

I blanched and rapidly shook my head.

"Nononono, I just escaped from the Hospital Wing!" I said.

Mcgonagall frowned.

"What were you doing in the Hospital Wing?" she asked.

"I was injured last night in the detention," I said.

"How did you manage to get injured badly enough to need Madam Pomfrey's help helping Filch clean the Owlery?"

I paused. Ohhh, this was gonna end badly for someone!

"Clean the Owlery?" I asked hesitantly, "Thats what our detention was supposed to be?"

Mcgonagall frowned.

"Yes, it was," she said, "Why, what did you do instead?"

"Headed into the Forbidden Forest to help Hagrid find whatever's been killing the Unicorns," I said.

Mcgonagall went white then red with fury.

"DUMBLEDORE!"

I watched, completely nonplussed as the teacher stormed off in the direction of the Headmasters office, practically spitting fire with rage. Well, that was a tad unexpected. I was expecting that to be a harder sell than it was. After a moment, I shrugged. I certainly wasn't going to complain if it meant that Dumbledore was inconvenienced. Besides, I had more important things to worry about. Like exams...OH SHIT, I'D COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE EXAMS!

* * *

You know, after going through secondary school, A-levels and University, you'd think I'd be used to exams by now. However, it appeared that even that experience wasn't enough to prevent me from falling back on old habits and going completely to pieces trying to prepare for them. Oh, I was nowhere near as bad as Hermione since I focused solely on myself, but I think seeing me panic cramming in the Common Room when I'm normally relatively calm was rather jarring for my classmates.

Fortunately, despite my minor breakdown, my brains and preparation came through and I managed just fine. Unfortunately, it seemed that my terrible luck was holding and that I was going to be going head first down the trapdoor, one way or another. Admittedly, I was planning on it, but I was planning on going alone so I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else. However, as soon as Neville came running up to Hermione and I with a worried look on his face, I knew there was no chance of that happening.

As it turned out, Neville had been the one to have the thought that it was odd that Hagrid just so happened to run into someone who had a Dragon egg when they are illegal and went to ask him about it. Now he and Hermione were busy arguing over who the person could have been and whether or not we should inform a teacher. The problem was that, without a belligerent Snape to aim both barrels of suspicion at, they couldn't come to a decision. Still, they eventually decided to go and talk to Mcgonagall, although I begged off on the grounds of having a pounding headache.

That was actually very true. Ever since I had run head first into whatever was protecting the Stone, my head had been throbbing like crazy. I'd tried everything and had even gone to see Madam Pomfrey, but she hadn't been able to find anything wrong with me and headache potions only took the edge off. It was only thanks to said potions that I had been able to get through my exams without killing something.

"Right, now we've got some peace and quiet, lets see if we can't do something about this stupid headache," I muttered as I crossed my legs and closed my eyes.

An instant later, I opened them again and found myself in what appeared to be a large field with waist high grass and fluffy clouds wafting across the sky. My Occlumency had long advanced to the point where I'd gained the ability to enter my Mindscape, but I didn't do it often. There wasn't really a need after all. Most people only entered it when they were worried that someone was messing with their mind like I was now. As a rule, Mindscapes were very simple places, usually just a field or a cave, and couldn't really be changed without seriously changing one's personality right down to the core, making it very easy to notice anything off about it.

I looked around, taking in the flat landscape, broken only by a table sized rock with a small split on the top, a large lake that served as the representation of my magic, a dragon statue that represented my bond with Lizzie and a large oak tree that represented my memories with its leaves. Then, I looked up.

"Huh, thats not supposed to be there," I said.

Normally, the sky was a clear blue with very faint green lines crisscrossing across it focused around a large, pale green sun that I've never been able to figure out what it represented. However, now in the very middle of the sky was a massive, rainbow coloured hole that seemed to be connecting me to something. A quick flex of willpower and I was floating in front of the hole. It was an extremely odd thing and being this close to it, I could _feel_ the power it was radiating. One thing it was not was any sort of connection with Voldemort. The power was far, FAR different from what I had felt in the forest. Not only was it magnitudes higher than Voldemort's, but it was whole and felt strangely...amused? Yes, that was it. Whatever was on the other end of this thing was aware that I had found it and was amused by it. I hesitantly reached out and touched the hole.

BLAM!

I jerked back to the conscious world with a yelp. For a brief moment, I had been connected to an infinite number of minds, each one ancient and powerful beyond my ability to fully absorb. Fortunately, it didn't seem that any of what I had seen had actually stuck with me or I'd likely have gone completely insane, but I knew one thing. I was incredibly glad that whatever was connected to my mind appeared to view me as an amusement. If it viewed me as any sort of threat, it would be able to completely annihilate me in less time than it took me to say 'oh shit'.

"HARRY!"

"GAH!"

I jumped at the shout and spun around to see a worried looking Neville and Hermione had rejoined me.

"Are you OK?" asked Hermione, "Your nose is bleeding."

I blinked and touched my face. Sure enough, there was a trickle of blood coming from my nose. I scowled and wiped it away.

"I'm fine," I said, "Now whats got you two so worked up?"

"Dumbledore and Mcgonagall have both gone," said Neville, "Apparently its got something to do with an inquiry? Anyway, not important. We're worried about the Stone. With Dumbledore not here, someone could try and steal it. I've been thinking about that thing that attacked you in the Forest Harry and...I think it might have been You-Know-Who. If it is and he gets the Stone, he could come back!"

"Fair enough, now what are you plotting?" I asked.

"I'm going after the Stone," said my formerly shy friend confidently.

It really is amazing how much someone can change in the space of a year, when given the tools to do so. I sighed and shook my head.

"Let me guess, you want me to tag along?" I asked.

"Actually, I was going to ask you if you would let me borrow your Cloak, but sure," said Neville.

I rolled my eyes.

"You do realize I can just teleport us down to Fluffys room, right?"

"Good point."

* * *

That night, we were all sat in the Common Room, waiting for everyone to leave...for some reason. I had no idea why we were still sat here, but Hermione seemed to think it was a good idea and wouldn't budge on the matter. Neville and Hermione were both nervous while I was calmly reading. Finally, Lee Jordan left the Common Room, yawning widely.

"Finally, lets go," I said as I shut my book.

"Are you sure we shouldn't take your Cloak?" asked Hermione.

"Positive," I said and put my hands on her and Nevilles shoulders, "Hold onto your dinners."

A blink later, we were stood outside of Fluffy's room.

"So, what are we planning to do about Fluffy?" I asked.

"Errr."

I sighed.

"Wow and here I thought you had a plan," I muttered, "Fortunately, I have a plan."

I drew my wand and cracked the door open.

"Musica Ludio," I said.

Immediate, music began to play, seemingly from thin air. Both my eyebrows shot as I realized it was the Elemental Stars track from Golden Sun, not that I'm gonna complain about that considering its one of the best tracks I've ever heard. There was a loud thud as Fluffy fell asleep.

"Ohh, that stinks," I muttered as we entered the room and got a faceful of dog breath.

"Shut up and help us move his paw," growled Neville.

I did as asked and pulled the trapdoor open, revealing a black hole.

"Looks like we'll have to drop," said Hermione.

"First things first," I said.

I flicked my wand and sent a ball of light down into the darkness. Sure enough, the cold, white light lit up the mass of vines that slithered away from it.

"Devils Snare," said Neville.

"Great," I muttered, "Still, at least it'll be a soft landing."

"What?"

I slapped Neville on the back, shoving him into the hole in the process.

"SCREW YOU HARRY!" he yelled as he fell down.

I just smirked and looked at Hermione.

"Don't even think about it," she growled and jumped in on her own.

I chuckled and followed my friends down, landing on the killer plant and immediately casting Lumos Solem to get it to retreat.

"You know, I can't help but think that Devils Snare is pretty weak for a security system," I said as we made our way through the door and deeper into the gauntlet, "Sure it can be deadly, but any competent first year knows that they are weak to heat and light. Hell, it was on the Herbology exam!"

"Maybe Dumbledore thought Fluffy would be enough?" said Hermione.

"Maybe," I muttered.

"Can you guys hear that?" asked Neville.

We all paused to listen.

"Sounds like wings," said Hermione.

We turned the corner and entered the next room. Sure enough, it was full of flying keys and had a broomstick floating in the middle of the room. I ignored the keys and moved across to examine the door. It was charmed against Alohomora, but I kept checking for any other spells that had been added. While I was at it, Neville and Hermione were discussing catching the correct key.

"I have a better idea," I said.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"Do you know what the biggest weakness of enchanted doors are?" I asked.

Hermione blinked.

"No, what?" she said.

"Simple," I said as I took three steps to the left and pointed my wand at the wall, "People always enchant the door, but forget about the walls around it. BOMBARDA!"

My friends both ducked down as the wall exploded.

"There, now we can move on," I said, ignoring the glare Hermione was sending at me.

The next chamber was so dark we couldn't see anything at all, but as we stepped into it, light suddenly flooded the room to reveal an astonishing sight. We were standing on the edge of a huge chessboard behind the black chessmen, which were all taller than we were and carved from what looked like purple stone. Facing us were the white pieces with the door visible behind them.

"Now what do we do?" asked Neville.

"Well, I would say we play across the room, but first, lets try this," I said, raising my wand.

"Don't you da…" started Hermione.

"BOMBARDA!"

KABOOM!

"YOU BASTARD HARRY!" roared Hermione as she was showered in dust again.

I ignored her.

"This is uncomfortably easy," I drawled as I led the way across the room, "If this is supposed to be protecting something as valuable as the Philosophers Stone, why can we just blast our way through?"

"That is a worrying thought," said Hermione, "But lets worry about that later. Those chess pieces are already starting to pull themselves together."

"Oh really? BOMBARDA!"

"GOD DAMN IT HARRY!"

I led the way through to the next room, chuckling all the way...only to recoil as I pushed the door open and allowed a truly rank smell to roll over us. The source was a massive troll layed out in the middle of the room with a cracked open skull. It was quite clearly dead and that did not make the smell any better.

"Lets hurry through before I puke," I said, "Damn, I knew I should have learned the Bubblehead Charm…"

I pulled open the next door to reveal Snapes challenge.

"Huh, this might be the most effective one yet," I said as I read the riddle, ignoring the fire that appeared in the doorways.

"Why's that?" asked Neville.

"Because logic is in extremely short supply in the Wizarding World," said Hermione as she snatched the paper from me, "Plus, I wouldn't put it past Snape to just put poison in all the bottles…"

"Nah, considering everything so far, I think this was meant to be solved," I said, "Not sure why, but Dumbledore wanted someone to get through it. There is a way forwards in here."

"Well, if it is, its in here," said Hermione, tossing the smallest bottle to me, "Its got an auto-refill charm on it, but it'll take at least ten minutes to work.

"And you're sending me in first?" I asked.

"You are the best out of the three of us," said Hermione, "Besides, you can just teleport out if things get hairy."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence I guess," I said, "Right, I'll see you in a bit then."

I downed the potion and stepped through the fire.

 **And I'm gonna end this here. So, Dumbledores in trouble and actually has a reason to be away from school and theres something blocking Harrys teleportation. I wonder what that could be. Hehehe, thats gonna be fun.**

 **I think Harrys starting to develop an unhealthy love of explosions...eh, whatever, it'll allow me to create some interesting humor later on.**

 **Short AN this time, but I want to get onto the next chapter. Next time, Harry vs Quirrelmort round two! And a rather interesting twist that'll result in headaches for everyone! Until then, leave a review!**


	14. Chapter 14

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 14

The Mirror room looked exactly like it did in the film, right down to the tacky pillars and freestanding mirror with the possessed loon stood in front of it. I faltered as I stepped through the door as an incredible amount of power washed over me, apparently coming from the mirror which seemed to have gained a very faint rainbow shine since I'd last seen it. I quickly shook it off. I had work to do.

"You know, I always thought there was something off about you," I said as I walked down the steps into the room, "You're a terrible actor."

Quirrel scoffed as he turned around.

"Potter, I should have known," he sneered, "You've proven yourself to be a real pain in the neck this year. You and that stupid lizard of yours."

I cringed slightly. It was probably a good thing Lizzie had decided to stay in bed rather than tag along or Quirrell would likely have a baby dragon chewing on his head by now. Not that I'd ever claim that he didn't deserve it, but Quirrelmort had already proven that going against him halfcocked was a good way to get your ass kicked and, as abrasive as she could be, I really didn't want to lose my Familiar.

"What can I say, its a gift," I said.

"Your glibness does you no credit," said Quirrell.

"And here I thought it was my best trait," I said, "So, what exactly does getting your chest laid open by a Centaur feel like?"

Quirrell sneered and snapped his fingers. I whipped out my wand and incinerated the ropes that shot at me, returning fire with a barrage of spells that Quirrell deflected by throwing up a shield wandlessly and unleashed a bolt of lightning from the other that blasted a massive hole in the stairs as I jumped out of the way. I enhanced my legs and took off, sprinting around the room at speeds that would make an Olympic sprinter jealous, dodging Quirrells attacks as I responded with my own. It wasn't long before the room resembled the surface of the moon with the number of craters we'd blasted in the stonework. However, neither of us were getting very far with magic, so I decided to change tactics. I bounced off the air and shot towards Quirrell, intending to make this fight physical. It was only when I noticed Quirrell smirk that I realized my mistake and by then it was too late.

I'm not sure what he'd done, but the moment I got within two meters of the bastard, multiple cuts opened over my body and it felt like my body had been lit on fire. Naturally, I completely lost control of my flight and flew right past Quirrell as he sidestepped my flight. I slammed into the mirror and slid down it, leaving a trail of blood on the glass.

"Owwww, that hurt," I groaned.

"I must say, you are a very impressive Wizard Potter," said Quirrell, "Even more impressive is that you can use Reinforcement to that level. If I didn't know better, I might think you were from a Magus family."

I blinked.

"Wait, what?"

Quirrell gave me an odd look, before his eyes widened.

"Wait, you mean you had no idea what you are actually doing when you increase your physical power like that?" he asked.

At the look on my face, he threw back his head and laughed.

"Oh, thats even better!" he crowed, "It truly is a shame that you'll be dying here. With potential like yours, you could potentially surpass me! Hell, you might even have been able to reach the Root!"

He laughed again.

"Ohh yes, that would be just perfect!" he said, "The pride and joy of the Magical World, Dumbledore's little puppet, a True Magician, perhaps even a Master in the War!"

He looked back at me, a toothy grin in place. I recoiled as I saw that his canines were sharp looking fangs and his eyes were blood red.

"What are you?" I asked, "A Vampire?"

Quirrell scoffed.

"Close, but not quite," he said, "I am what Vampires wish they could be, a true reflection of our Ancestors. I am a Dead Apostle, a True Immortal vire my Reincarnation."

The blood drained from my face at that.

"W-what?" I asked, "Did you just say Reincarnation?"

Quirrell(?) looked back at me, smirk firmly in place.

"Oh? You mean you recognize the concept?" he said, "And here I thought you were completely ignorant of my world."

"Maybe not as much as you thought," I said, "Now answer me one more question. Who are you really? We thought you might be Voldemorts servant, but I don't think thats the case, is it?"

Quirrell snorted.

"Maybe I would have worked for that idiot in another life, but I would never work with such a foolish child," he said, "To butcher ones Soul like that…"

He shook his head.

"Foolish boy. Even I wouldn't go that far."

He glanced at me.

"Voldemort was here, but no longer. He beat me here, but I dealt with him."

He waved a hand to the corner where a pile of blackened meat and bone.

"Alright, but then why did Neville overhear you talking with someone in an empty classroom?" I asked.

Quirrell scoffed.

"Oh, that?" he said, "Well, this latest incarnation is surprisingly strong and I still haven't quite managed to suppress his original personality completely. Occasionally he manages to fight his way to the surface, but soon I will be in complete control."

"Alright, in that case, I'll go back to my original question," I said, "Who are you?"

Quirrell just smirked.

"Well, I would tell you since I fully intend to kill you before I leave, but I really don't want to risk ousting myself after all the trouble I've put into staying under the radar this time," he said, "Now be quiet and let me concentrate."

He flicked his fingers and I was immediately bound and gagged, not that I was going anywhere with my injuries. Quirrell, or whoever he was, vanished the blood on the glass as he turned back to the mirror.

"Now, what does this mirror do?" he muttered, "I see what I desire. I see myself holding the stone...but how do I get it?"

I tilted my head as much as I could so I could see my reflection. It wasn't easy, but I was able to do it. My reflection smirked and winked, twitching his fingers as if to push something closer to me. I felt my fingertips brush against something and my hand immediately closed around what felt like a leather wrapped hilt. Apparently Quirrell noticed my slight movement as he turned his gaze back to me, his eyes narrowing.

"Perhaps you can make yourself useful," he said as he grabbed my by the collar and pulled me to my feet with on hand, turning me to face the mirror, "Now, what do you see?"

He vanished the gag.

"I see myself kicking your ass," I growled.

Quirrell scoffed and shoved me away. I went flying back and slammed into the steps.

"I strongly suggest that you don't anger me Potter," he said, "After all, the lives of you and your friends lie in my hands. If I so wished, I could easily kill both of them. Now, tell me what you really saw."

I spat a globule of blood flecked spit at his feet.

"Go fuck yourself ya blood sucking bastard," I said.

Quirrell stared at his now blood flecked shoes for a moment, before he slowly looked back at me, his face contorting into a scowl.

"You'll regret that Potter!" he snarled, "Sectumsempra!"

He lashed out and I screamed as the Dark Curse sliced open my chest, cutting through the ropes in the process.

"I was going to deal with you later, but now I've changed my mind," snarled Quirrell, "I'm going to make you suffer, Potter!"

He raised his hand again. I grinned painfully, ignoring the throbbing from my wounds.

"Yeah, but first things first," I said, "How about you get LOST!"

I swung my arm around and pointed the object the mirror had held at Quirrell, forcing my Magic through it in the process. To be honest, I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't a massive beam of golden light that completely vaporized Quirrell's raised arm. It was only the unexpected kickback from the shot that prevented the Dead Apostle from being completely obliterated by the shot. However, neither Quirrell nor I were interested in the formers now lack of arm, instead we were gaping at the weapon in my hand. It was a dagger, about the length of my forearm, made of a shimmering, slightly purple tinted jewel that reflected the light in a kaleidoscope of colour and was practically radiating Magic.

Slowly, a dark grin worked its way across my lips while Quirrell paled, especially when the Jewel Sword began to glow brighter and I aimed it at his head.

"Um, mercy?" said Quirrell weakly.

"Em, no."

The top half of Quirrells body vanished in a blast of energy drawn from across the multiverse, leaving his lower half to disintegrate into dust.

"Well, that was interesting," I muttered as I let my arm drop back to the floor, "Now, lets see if we can't do something about...AH!"

Just as I started thinking about blinding my wounds before I could bleed out, I felt my back starting to burn and golden light began to shine from the cuts. I watched in no small amount of shock as what appeared to be thin strands of white energy began to emerge from the massive cut on my chest and pull it together, sealing it up without leaving so much as a scar. Within the space of five seconds, the last of my injuries had completely sealed themselves and I felt a rush of energy and an odd tickling sensation as my lost blood was restored. I remained where I was for a moment, before I let my head fall back to the steps with a groan.

"Right, lets add Fate to the list," I muttered, "Although that does explain how I survived the AK. I would like a decent explanation as to how Mum got her hands on Avalon though…"

I let out a huff and hauled myself to my feet, slipping the Jewel Sword into my belt as I did. I retrieved my wand before walking over to the charred pile in the corner to see if I could figure out who was playing host to Voldie this time through. I grimaced as I turned the body over to reveal Marcus Flint.

"How the hell did he encounter Riddle?" I muttered, "Although that does explain somewhat why I could actually fight back against him in the forest…"

I trailed off as my vision blurred slightly.

"That can't be good," I muttered as I stood.

Big mistake. The room started to spin, my head throbbed and the edges of my vision started to darken. Apparently, the energy used up in the fight, my regeneration and using the Jewel Sword was just hitting me as the surge of energy provided by Avalon faded.

"Welp, back to the hospital for me I guess," I slurred as the floor rushed up to meet me.

* * *

Something gold was glinting just above me. Some deep seated instinct made me try to catch it, only to find that my arms were to heavy. I blinked and the twinkling object revealed itself to be a pair of glasses. I blinked again and the smiling face of Albus Dumbledore swam into view above me.

THWACK!

"That felt good," I said as I shook my now throbbing hand while the MOB fell to the floor, clutching his newly broken nose.

"Now Harry, was that really necessary?" asked Dumbledore as he got to his feet and fixed his nose.

"That depends, did you or did you not hide an insanely powerful Magical artifact in a school protected by a set of tests that three First Years were able to get past with no problem?" I asked.

"Now Harry, I assure you that the Stone was perfectly safe," said Dumbledore.

"Bullshit," I said, "And that was NOT the Philosophers Stone."

I glanced around.  
"Speaking of, where is it?" I asked.

"Ah, I'm afraid it has been destroyed," said Dumbledore, his eyes atwinkle, "My friend Nicholas and I have had a little chat and agreed that it was for the best."

I gave him a flat look.

"Bullshit," I drawled.

"Albus, are you putting words in my mouth again?"

Dumbledore jumped and went white as he spun around to face the old man who had just appeared at the foot of my bed. He looked about 50, although he had an oddly youthful air about him. His hair was gray and worn short and slicked back and he had a neat beard covering his chin, which did nothing to hide his amused smirk as he examined me through a pair of blood red eyes. He was wearing a smart looking black shirt and trousers, white gloves and a black mantle and was leaning on a cane. He was also radiating the exact same feeling I got from the mysterious vortex in my mind.

"N-nicholas, I…" started Dumbledore, quite understandably scared out of his wits.

"Save it Albus," said the old Vampire, "I honestly don't care about your excuses or even why you did it. Hell, if it wasn't for Mr Potter here, I wouldn't have even bothered showing up."

I blanched. Being found interesting by the Wizard Marshal is not what I'd call a good thing. Zelretch turned his attention from the still pale Dumbledore as the old man hurried from the room and back to me.

"Hello Mr Potter, I am…"

"Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, better known as the Wizard Marshal or the Kaleidoscope, the holder of the Second True Magic and the fourth ranked Dead Apostle Ancestor," I said.

Zelretch stared at me for a moment, before he threw back his head and laughed.

"So, you do know me," he said, "Frankly, I should have expected that. Even without your Ability, you already did know me, right? Little Outsider?"

"I do," I said, "Now would you be so kind as to remove your presence from my mind? Its causing me a real headache."

Zelretch raised an eyebrow and closed his eyes. After a moment, he let out a snort and opened them again.

"Well, you truly are the most interesting person I've met in a while and that includes the version of you that managed to turn my alternate into a doting Grandfather," he said, "To be able to tap into my Kaleidoscope without realizing it and come out sane...you Outsiders truly are unique."

He laughed again and held out his hand. A rolled up bit of paper appeared in his grip and he tossed it to me.

"Here, I think you deserve this after how well you used my Sword down in the Mirror Room," he said.

I frowned and unrolled the paper, revealing a blueprint I couldn't make heads or tails of. However, I could see what it was a blueprint off.

"You want me to try and replicate your Sword?" I asked, more than a little surprised.

Zelretch shrugged.

"Consider it a gift for being such an excellent source of entertainment," he said with a smirk, "And in a couple of years, you might just provide even more."

I raised a questioning eyebrow. Zelretch laughed and tapped the back of his hand before vanishing into thin air. I blinked and glanced down at my hand. All I could see was a slight smudge that looked almost like a bruise. I studied the mark for a moment, before shrugging and going back to the blueprint. I'm sure whatever it was will become clear before too long. And be a massive headache for someone if Zelretch found it entertaining. For now, I'd have to focus on trying to figure out how in the hell he expected me to be able to replicate his Sword when it was more complicated than the theory behind Personal Realities.

 **And I'm gonna end this here. So, Quirrell wasn't Voldies puppet this time, but rather it was a no name character who's literally not even appeared in this story. Hell, he was probably completely taken over by Voldemort!**

 **Before anyone gets on my case, I did this because I wanted to make it clear that, in this reality, Voldie really is the bottom of the barrel trash compared with some of the baddies Harry will have to deal with...including the being that was possessing Quirrell. I don't think I need to spell it out, do I?**

 **Soooo, yeah, the man known as Nicholas Flamel is actually Zelretch...thats gonna end badly for someone. Probably Harry in all honesty.**

 **Hmm, I wonder what that mark on Harrys hand means? As if you lot can't guess!**

 **And with that, I'm done. Next time, I'll be wrapping up first year and we'll get to find out exactly what the fallout from Dumbles getting taken to task for sending four kids into danger was. Until next time, please leave a review!**


	15. Chapter 15

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 15

Fortunately for me, and thanks to the incredibly powerful artifact stored inside me, the only thing that was wrong with me was an extreme case of Magical Exhaustion, an issue that was mostly fixed after a good nights sleep. With that in mind, once Zelretch had left and she had given me another quick checkup, Pomfrey reluctantly let me go. I ignored the stares I was getting as I made my way through the halls back to the Gryffindor common room. I honestly didn't give a rats ass about what they thought after all. I stepped through the portrait hole and was immediately accosted by a frantic Dragon.

" _Are you OK Harry? Oh, I knew I should have gone with you but noooo, I just had to stay up to late hunting the night before and…"_

I cut her off with a laugh and a hug, pulling the cat sized Dragon to my chest and rubbing the back of her her between her horns. Her frantic babbling was immediately replaced by happy purrs.

"Sorry I worried you Lizzie, but I'm fine," I said.

Lizzies forked tongue flicked out and across my cheek as she snuggled closer in my arms.

" _Idiot, don't worry me like that again,"_ she mumbled.

I smiled and carried her over to the fireplace where my friends were all waiting with smiles from watching Lizzie and I interact. I settled in the free armchair with Lizzie in my lap. As soon as I was settled, Kuroka hopped up onto the arm of the chair and Lizzie shifted over slightly, allowing my pet to curl up with her.

"You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing that," said Neville.

"I've just accepted it as Harry being Harry," said Hermione.

I chuckled at that as my fingers went to work on my pets, eliciting a chorus of purring from both girls.

"So, what have I missed?" I asked.

Hermione and Neville glanced at each other.

"Well, somehow everyone found out about what happened down in the Mirror Room," said Neville, "Its all anyone had been talking about. Well, that and what happened with Dumbledore."

"Apparently, the reason he and Mcgonagall were away was because Dumbledore had been called before the Education Committee at the Ministry for putting us in danger," said Hermione, "Did you know that he was the one who sent us into the Forest?"

"I did actually," I said, "I was the one who told Mcgonagall. So, what happened? Hes clearly still headmaster."

"Well, yes, but only by the skin of his teeth," said Neville, "My Grandma said that he was only able to hold onto it thanks to a number of favors he was owed by members of the Committee, but even with that I hear that the ICW is furious with him. Apparently, hes been losing popularity outside of Britain for a while, but this was the final straw. Hes been ordered to hand in his resignation as the Supreme Mugwump. I suspect it doesn't help that Nicolas Flamel has kicked up a stink about Dumbledore stealing his spare stone."

I snorted.

"Nice to see that I'm not the only one that crazy old bloodsuckers targeting," I muttered.

"Whats this about a crazy old bloodsucker?" asked Luvia as she dropped into the last remaining seat in 'our' area.

"Oh, nothing," I said, "Just an immortal troll that happens to have taken an interest in me and has given me homework that may well take my family generations to figure out."

Everyone stared at me.

"Er, I assume you don't mean the thick headed creatures when you say troll, right?" asked Neville.

"No, it means someone who enjoys messing with others," said Hermione, "I'm more interested in what you mean by homework that could take generations to complete."

"Fine, you try and make heads or tails of this," I said, tossing the blueprints for the Jewel Sword onto the table.

The others all bent over them and Luvia took a sharp intake of breath.

"Harry, what was the name of the man who gave you these?" she asked, her voice tight.

"Oh, it was Flamal," I said, "He showed up to see who it was who saved his Jewel Sword…"

The next thing I knew, I had a blond girl hauling me to my feet by the lapels, much to the ire of the animals in my lap.

"You mean to tell me that the thing you lot headed down to save was ZELRETCH'S JEWEL SWORD?!" she yelled.

"How do you…" I started, before I suddenly cut myself off as I realized WHY she had always seemed so familiar.

I suppressed the urge to smack myself for being an idiot. Instead, I plastered a smug grin on my face and nodded.

"Eyup, the Second Magician himself gave me those blueprints for his Sword," I said.

"But...but your not a Magus!" she protested, "Why would he give you that?!"

I shrugged.

"How the hell should I know?" I asked, "Can anyone really tell whats going through that crazy old Vampires head when he does something?"

"Good point."

She frowned.

"Wait, if you're not a Magus, how do you know about Zelretch?" she asked.

"Now that…" I said, holding up a finger.

Luvia leaned in as I let the silence lengthen.

"...Is a secret."

WHAM!

"GOD DAMN IT HARRY!" roared Luvia as I collapsed back into my chair, gasping and wheezing around my laughter.

Totally worth the blow to the stomach! I paused. Hmm, maybe I had been more affected by Zelretch's presence in my head than I thought. Once I had recovered my breath, the conversation turned to what we had planned for the summer.

"I'm going to be staying with my Parents," said Neville, looking like he couldn't quite believe he was saying it, "They're still recovering in Academy City, but theres no way I'm passing up the chance to stay with them!"

"Huh, guess we'll have to meet up sometime then," I said, "I'm gonna be staying with my Granddad at his place."

"When did you set that up?" asked Hermione.

I smirked.

"I'm not sure I trust Dumbledore not to intercept my mail, so I teleported to London and posted the letter the Muggle way," I said, "I set a mailbox up at the same time so we could mail each other without anyone from the Wizarding World knowing."

"Smart," said Hermione, "But why don't you trust Dumbledore? I mean, I know he hasn't exactly been competent this year, but why would he intercept your mail?"

"Dumbledore was the person who left me with my...relatives," I said, "He MUST have known that there were better choices than them yet he left me there anyway."

"Right, I see what you mean," said Luvia, "I wouldn't trust him either."

Neville and Hermione looked between us in confusion.

"My relatives are the sort of people you think can't possibly exist," I said, "They are racist, homophobic and just about every other bad thing you can be. They are so obsessed with being normal that it comes right around into being abnormal. Of course, they basically screwed themselves by not teaching my cousin that actions have consequences and the idiot tried to beat up Luvia. It...didn't go well and now the fat bastards in Juvie."

A look of understanding crossed Neville and Hermiones faces.

"Still…" said Hermione.

"I was just taking precautions," I said, "I'm not going back to that place, not now, not ever. Its not my home and I sure as hell don't consider the Dursleys to be my family."

I took a deep breath.

"Right, thats enough of that," I said, "So, what are you doing Hermione?"

With that, the conversation got back on track.

* * *

The next day, I was enjoying breakfast when an annoyed looking Mcgonagall.

"Mr Potter, the Headmaster wants to speak to you after breakfast," she said.

"Did he say what about?" I asked.

"He did not," said Mcgonagall, "I shall be along to take you to his office as soon as you are done."

I glanced down at my plate and put my cutlery down.

"Might as well go now," I said.

"In that case, come with me."

I followed my Head of House out of the Hall and up the stairs.

"I hear Dumbledores in the dog house," I said.

Mcgonagalls lips thinned.

"Indeed," she said, "Why he thought he could get away with sending you four into the Forest on top of hiding something as dangerous as the Stone in the school I will never know."

"Well, he is quite old," I said, "Perhaps hes finally losing his grip on reality."

Mcgonagall snorted.

"That is an entirely plausible explanation Mr Potter," she said, "Unfortunatally, theres little we can do until he slips up again."

"What about Flints Death?" I asked.

"Dumbledore claimed it wasn't his fault and, for some reason, he was believed," said Mcgonagall, "It doesn't help that the Minister is a damned coward."

"Aman to that," I said.

At that moment we reached the gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office and Mcgonagall turned to face me fully.

"Potter...Harry, I feel that I should warn you," she said, "When it comes to you Dumbledore is rather...insistent. He will not hesitate to use force or coercion to get what he wants. He may even attempt to Obliverate you if he feels it necessary."

"I'll keep my eye out then," I said.

"Oh, I don't intend to leave it to chance," said Mcgonagall, "Here, I had a friend make this for you."

She handed me a silver cross. The second the silver came in contact with my skin, I could feel the incredible amount of power contained within it. I could feel it weaving a protection around me, one holding the concept of mental protection against coercion or memory manipulation. My head snapped up to my Head of House who smirked slightly.

"You aren't the only one with...different friends," she said as she shifted her robes slightly, revealing that she was wearing sensible leggings under them and had a belt full of what appeared to be thick, black throwing blades with red hilts and a pair of large, vicious looking claw weapons sheathed across the back of her belt.

"Do I even want to know what those are for?" I asked.

"Probably not," said Mcgonagall.

"I have to ask though, why don't you come with me?" I asked, "Surely he wouldn't risk casting a spell at me with a witness?"

Mcgonagall snorted.

"I wouldn't put it past the senile old codger," she said, "But I will accompany you if you wish."

"I do," I said as I slipped the cross over my head, "Shall we?"

Mcgonagall nodded and turned to the gargoyle.

"Walkers Crisps," she said and the statue jumped aside.

She led the way up the rotating staircase and into the Headmasters office. It looked pretty much as I was expecting, although it did see to be lacking in a number of the silver instruments I was expecting. I hid a smirk at that. While I naturally couldn't confirm it, I was willing to bet I was responsible for that.

"Ah, Harry my boy, come on in," said Dumbledore, his eyes a twinkle, "Thank you for bringing him Minerva, you may go."

"Actually Albus, Mr Potter has requested that I remain," she said.

Dumbledore's lips twitched ever so slightly, but he didn't argue.

"Now, can we get this started?" I asked, "I have packing to do before the feast tonight."

"Of course," said Dumbledore, "I would like to talk with you about your living arrangements this summer. I'm afraid that, due to certain...events this year, it is no longer entirely safe at your Aunts. As such…"

"And let me stop you right there," I said, "You don't need to worry about what I have planned over the Summer. I already have plans to go stay with my Grandfather."

Dumbledore blinked.

"I'm afraid that both your Mothers parents and Fathers are dead Harry," he said patiently, as if talking to a small child.

"I know, but my Great Grandfather is still very much alive," I said, "As such, I will be going to stay with him and my Godmother, Alice Longbottom."

Dumbledore froze.

"Oh, you haven't heard?" I asked with a smirk, "The Longbottoms decided to seek treatment in the Muggle World and are now well on the road to recovery. They're already out of their catatonic state and are now undergoing a combination of Muggle and Magical physiotherapy to get themselves back on their feet after ten years of being left to rot in hospital."

I suppressed the urge to laugh at the look of complete and utter shock on Dumbledores face as I got to my feet.

"If thats everything, I have packing to do," I said, "Good day Professors."

I left the office with a smirking Mcgonagall following a moment later.

* * *

Dumbledores POV

The MOB barely even noticed that Harry and Mcgonagall had left, so busy was he trying desperately to come up with something, anything, that could salvage his plans. Unfortunately, with Alice Longbottom back on the board, that was near impossible. Augusta Longbottom was considered to be one of the scariest and most formidable women in the Wizengamot, but the truth was that Alice was even more strong willed, politically savvy and sharp tongued than her mother-in-law. Not only that, but she came from a line that was so old and powerful that they had a prominent place in the oldest records ever found. She was the kind of Noble that the likes of the Malfoys _wished_ they could be. She didn't need money, expensive clothes or anything physical to show her standing, not when she radiated nobility and power like she did. It certainly didn't help that, like Lily was considered the brightest Witch of her generation, Alice was considered to be the strongest.

Plus, while it was true that Dumbledore firmly believed that Tom went after the Potters because Harry was a Half-Blood like him, a small part of him acknowledged that it was probably because he was scared stiff of Alice. Hell, the only reason that the Death Eaters were able to capture the Longbottoms and put them in their former state to begin with was because Dumbledore was able to slip her a poison that made it nearly impossibly to use her Magic and even then she managed to put three of them in the hospital. It may seem cruel, but it had to be done if Dumbledore wanted any sort of control over Harry to guide him to his destiny.

Alice was one of the few members of the Order of the Phoenix he had absolutely no control over, completely refusing to give any quarter to the Death Eaters she faced and, as such, was responsible for a good number of Purebloods deaths. When he had attempted to reprimand her for her (to him) excessive response, she had laughed in his face and told him that the moment they had lifted their wands to the innocent, they had forfeited their right to live. The fact that the Death Eaters had allied themselves with Vampires didn't help as Alice was famous for her burning hatred of the bloodsuckers.

Now that she was back on her feet, Dumbledore had no doubt that she'd be on the warpath for whoever put her and her husband in that state and he knew that, should she find out he was partly responsible, nothing would be able to prevent her from challenging him to a duel and wiping the floor with him, Deathstick or not. The fact he had been responsible for putting her son and Godson in danger certainly wouldn't make her any more likely to show mercy. Dumbledore whimpered at the thought of what she'd do to him if she did.

Yes, Alice Longbottom nee Barthomeloi was not one to be crossed under any circumstances.

 **And done. So, we get a sweet little scene between Lizzie and Harry, find out that the Longbottoms are well on the road to recovery and that Mcgonagall isn't quite what she appears.**

 **Speaking of the catty teacher, I wonder if you can guess what she is from the description given? Rest assured, she is not the type of person who should be underestimated, despite her age, and that will come out eventually.**

 **I admit, I was tempted to have Dumbles try something with Harry, but since I need him to stick around just a little longer, he gets to keep the Elder Wand for now.**

 **BWAHAHAHAHA, oh, its not like hes not still up shit creak without a paddle though, not with someone like Alice back in the game! Just to be clear, she is not a Magus, but she is still a part of the Barthomeloi Family. The exact way it works will be revealed later, but for now I'll just say that the family has a Magus Branch and a Wizarding Branch. They are subtly different, but some things are universal. Like a hatred of Vampires and a stupid amount of power.**

 **And thats all for now. Next time, the start of the Summer. That should be interesting. Until then, please leave a review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 16

Following my conversation with Dumbledore, things really started to wind down. Surprisingly enough, Gryffindor didn't land in last place , although Slytherin still managed to win. Unlike in canon, Dumbledore didn't give out a bunch of bullshit points but that was fine. As previously mentioned, I didn't give a shit about the House Cup anyway. Shortly after, our exam results came in and our grade listings appeared on the noticeboards, both in terms of year and House. Hermione and I had managed to get joint first in Gryffindor with Luvia and Neville just behind us. Ron on the other hand was slap bang at the bottom, just barely scraping by into Second Year. However, he was still in the dog house with Mcgonagall as he had somehow managed to get the LOWEST grade Gryffindor House had seen in over a century.

* * *

Other than that, it wasn't long before everyones stuff was packed up and carted off to the train on the last day of term. I was stopped by Hagrid on the way down to the station so the big man could give me the photo album he'd made (which I checked for any spells as soon as he was out of sight and found none). The trip back was rather enjoyable and was spent among friends with a Ward over the door to prevent Ron and Malfoy from bothering us, but all good things must come to an end and we soon arrived back in London and disembarked. We all stepped off together and Daphne and Tracy wished us goodbye and a good summer before leaving with their familys, Hermione gave me and Neville one last hug before vanishing through the Barrier with Luvia so the Muggleborn Witches could find their parents. Neville and I on the other hand headed over to one corner where an old man and a young woman were waiting out of the way.

"MUM!" shouted Neville as he ran to the woman and jumped at her.

Alice Longbottom easily caught her son and hugged him tightly. I can't imagine it was particularly easy for either her or Frank to be stuck in bed with their son on the other side of the world, but I wished them the best. Speaking of, Alice looked surprisingly good for a woman who had basically spent the past ten years as a vegetable. She had long, soft brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, sharp, gray eyes and pale skin, no doubt from being stuck in a hospital bed for years. She was still a little on the skinny side and her cheekbones had just a little too much definition, but she was definitely well on the road to recovery.

I turned away from the proper reuniting of Mother and Son in favor of the frog faced old man who was staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I was just thinking you look just like Lily," he said.

I lifted an eyebrow.

"Really? Because most people say I look like my dad," I said.

"Oh, I can see some of James in you, but that smile of yours is all Lily," said Heaven Canciller, "Anyway, its nice to finally meet you in person Harry."

"Likewise Grandpa," I said with a grin.

Grandpa snorted.

"And that smile is definitely all Lily," he said, "I just hope you have not inherited that smirk of hers…"

I smirked and Grandpa laughed.

"Yes, that one," he said, "The one that always made her look like a hungry lioness. Except in your case, it looks more like a Dragon."

"Yes, well, I think this little one is responsible for that," I said, indicating to the snoozing Dragon coiled around my shoulders.

The clearing of a throat drew our attention to Alice, who was now eyeing me up and down with her arm still firmly around Nevilles shoulders. Most 11 year old boys would complain about that, but Neville, quite understandably, looked like he couldn't be happier.

"So, your Lily's boy then?" said Alice as her eyes lingered on Lizzie on my shoulder, "I have to say, if even half of what Neville told me at Christmas and in his letters were true, you're already causing even more waves than your Mother."

"I think I'll take that as a complement," I said, "Its a pleasure to meet you at last Mrs Longbottom."

Alice snorted.

"Oh, call me Alice kid," she said, "Your my Godson and the son of my best friend. You more than anyone have that right."

I inclined my head slightly.

"So, what now?" I asked, "Straight to the airport?"

"Actually, I need to visit Gringotts," said Alice, "I want to have the Goblins check the Potter vaults as your Magical Guardian. Plus, it would be an idea to have them do an ability test. The ability to speak to Dragons is not a common one and I want to know where it came from."

I nodded

"Fair enough," I said, So, shall we…"

I was cut of by a strident voice cutting through the chatter that filled the station.

"Oh, there you are Harry dear!"

I turned and had to suppress a groan when I saw Molly Weasley hurrying towards me with a scowling Ron, an eager looking Ginny and an exasperated looking set of Twins on her heels. The routed woman attempted to hug me, but I took a few steps back, neatly avoiding her grip.

"Um, do I know you?" I asked with far more politeness than I was feeling towards the overbearing woman.

Even if she didn't turn out to be a Potions Queen, she was still firmly in Dumbledore's corner and an overly loud harpy at that. Molly's smile faltered slightly at my question and backstep.

"Well, I'm Mrs Weasley," she said, "Surely Dumbledore told you that you'd be staying with us over the summer?"

"Actually, I'll be staying with my Grandfather and Godmother," I said, indicating to the adults behind me.

Molly glanced behind me and froze, eyes widening as a hand dropped onto my shoulder.

"Hello Molly, its been far too long," drawled Alice.

I glanced up and shivered when I saw the shark-like grin my Godmother was wearing. I made a mental not to never, EVER do anything to piss her off."

"I believe it was at the Longbottom Christmas party shortly before Frank and I got married," continued Alice, "You know, when you tried to dose my fiancé with _love potion._ "

The last two words were practically roared and sent Molly and her brood fleeing before the enraged matriarch. Neville and I stared at Alice in no small amount of awe, hell, I could see Neville's eyes practically shining with it, while Grandpa simply shook his head.

"Nice to see that spending a decade in bed hasn't dulled your tongue at all," he said.

Alice snorted.

"It'd take more than that to take me out of the game," she said, "Now come on, I want to get this done and back to Frank."

Grandpa nodded and led the way through the Barrier and back onto the Muggle side.

"Not using the Floo?" I asked.

"Not with Henry here," said Alice, "Muggles tend to react...poorly to Magical transport."

"Fair enough," I said, "Although I could…"

I was cut off by a very unwelcome voice.

"You! Boy!"

"What the hell is he doing here?" I muttered as I turned to see a purple faced Vernon lumbering towards me.

"Come along boy, I don't have all day," he growled, grabbing me by the arm with bruising force.

I responded by reminding him of exactly why he hadn't done that more than once in the past by tossing him over my shoulder and slamming him into the ground.

"Nice to see you still haven't learnt to keep your hands to yourself Uncle," I said, "Now what are you doing here? Dumbledore said he sent you a message saying I wouldn't be staying with you and I know for a fact I did the same."

I snapped my fist up, catching Dudley in the nose as he tried to attack me from behind, dropping him on his behind with a bloody nose.

"Actually, on second thoughts, I don't care," I said, "This actually gives me chance to say this to you in person. I'm going 'uncle' and I'm not coming back. Tata."

I grabbed Vernon and Dudleys ankles and the two idiots vanished. There was a loud clang and everyone turned to see that they were upside down in nearby litterbins. Grandpa turned back to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Your a Teleporter?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Its amazing how useful Occlumency is for creating a Personal Reality," I said.

"Hmm, I'll have to give you some tests when we get back to Academy City to see how strong you are," he said.

"Lets start now," I said as I grabbed his and Alice's hands, "Neville, grab ahold."

My friend put his hand on my shoulder and we vanished from the, fortunately quite, station and reappeared near the Apparition point in Diagon Alley. Alice looked a tad disoriented while Grandpa looked thoughtful.

"Thats quite impressive," said the old man as we started walking towards Gringotts, "Whats your maximum range?"

"On my own, practically limitless," I said, "So long as I can picture the place, I can teleport there. I managed to teleport to Sidney while I was practicing and got distracted."

Grandpa stumbled.

"Thats...impossible!" he spluttered.

"Says the man called Heaven Canciller to a boy who survived an unsurvivable curse?"

"Point taken."

"Besides, my range becomes a lot less if I'm taking something with me," I said, "Even so, I could probably teleport all four of us to Academy City or close to it if I had to."

"I think I'd rather go by plane if its all the same to you," said Grandpa, "I really don't want to think of what would happen if you miscalculated and we reappeared over the ocean."

"Good point."

From there, the two of us started on an in depth discussion of Esper abilities and how Occlumency, even the diluted form Muggles could use, affected the use of Esper powers that quickly had the Longbottoms tuning us out in favor of their own conversation. Not that it was a very long one as we soon arrived at Gringotts and made our way up to a free teller.

"Alice Longbottom here to see the Potter Account manager in my role as sworn Godmother to Heir Potter," she said formally, "I would also like to request an ability test for Harry Potter."

The Teller grunted.

"Very well," he said, "Are your companions accompanying you as well?"

"We'll stay here," said Grandpa, indicating to him and Neville.

"Very well," said the Teller again and hopped off his stool, "Follow me."

He led Alice and I through the halls to the same room I had spoken with Grindclaw in before my First Year. Our current guide let us into the room and took a seat behind the desk.

"Now, how may I help you?" he asked.

"As Harrys Magical Guardian, I would like to request a full audit of the Potter Vaults," said Alice, "They have been stagnant for ten years and I'm not sure I entirely trust Dumbledore not to have skimmed some money off the top."

"Very well," said the Goblin, snapping his fingers and barking a few orders to the smaller Goblin that entered through a hidden door in Gobbledygook.

The lesser Goblin nodded and ducked out and returned a moment later with some parchment and a ritual dagger.

"While the audit is being performed, we can do the Ability test," he said, sliding both objects across the table, "Just drop three drops of blood onto the parchment."

I did as I was told, which was actually quite a bit more difficult than it sounded considering my regeneration, but the Magic in the dagger helped and before long words were rapidly appearing on the enchanted parchment. The Goblin took the parchment and read through it. However, as he did, his expression went from a carefully blank mask that all Goblins wore to shock to outright terror. Once he was done, he put down the parchment, reached under the desk and pulled out a bottle that he took a long pull from.

"High proof Goblin Grog," he said in answer to our curious glances, "Often a necessity when dealing with Potters and Mr Potter here takes the absolute cake. I actually think I need something stronger…"

Now really curious, Alice pulled the paper towards her and started to read as I leaned in to do the same.

 _Name: Harry James Potter_

 _Age: 11_

 _Blood Status: Half-Blood(active Dragon Blood)_

 _MMS score rating: 92_

 _Magic Circuits: Dragon Core, 50 Circuits, maximum output, 1500 units, Active_

 _Dragontongue: Can speak to and command any Dragon/Serpent below the rank of King/Phantasm_

 _Potential Animagus, form unknown_

 _Artifact sealed in soul identified as Noble Phantasm Avalon, active due to Dragon Blood_

 _Full Familier Bond_

 _Incomplete Magic Crest detected. ⅓ present._

"HOLY SHITMUFFINS!" I exclaimed.

"I second that Lily," muttered Alice, who seemed to be completely poleaxed by the revelations.

"Indeed," said the Goblin, "Theres a reason that the Potters motto is 'non facies normalis'."

"We don't do normal?" I asked, "Yeah, sounds about right…whats the MMS rating though?"

"It stands for Merlin Magical Scale," said the Goblin, "Basically, its a measurement of a Wizards full Magical Potential upon reaching adulthood. It goes from 1 to 100. Most people fall somewhere around the 60 range, which is average. Ranking below ten means that you are a Squib while being above 85 is considered to be very powerful indeed. I believe that Aberforth Dumbledore held the record for the highest score in Britain in the past century at 90."

"So what, I'm the most powerful Wizard in the world?" I asked.

"No, that title goes to the current head of the ICW, Johann Faust at 98," said the Goblin, "Frankly, if you were stronger than him, that would mean you were more powerful than Merlin, the only person in history to hit 100, hence why the scale is named after him."

"Isn't that the guy who made a deal with Mephistopheles?" I muttered.

The Goblins ears twitched and he gave a grin that made me fear for my aspirin supplies in the future. Fortunately for Alice's sanity, a Goblin chose that moment to enter with a ledger that was passed to her after the one serving us had flicked through it.

"I am pleased to report that there are no anomalies," he said, "The only withdrawals have been to Mr Potters trust Vault and to his Guardians to pay for his upkeep."

I scowled.

"I never saw a penny of that money," I said, "I bet it was all spent on Dudley."

The Goblin winced.

"I see," he said, "Unfortunatally, theres little we can do to reclaim the money at this point. However, considering the size of the Potter Vaults and your ancestors skills with investments, the money lost has barely made a dent in your Vaults. As your Guardianship has been officially transferred, your new guardian will be receiving it from now on. Will that be all for today?"

"Yes, thank you for your help," said Alice as she got to her feet.

The Goblin nodded and led us back to the entrance hall where we rejoined Grandpa and Neville.

"We'll discuss what your test revealed when we get back home," said Alice as we headed back through the alley, "Mainly because I'll need the plane trip to fully get my head around it."

The last part was muttered, but I still heard it.

* * *

Now that we were done with stuff in England, I teleported us to Heathrow where we were almost immediately shepherded onto the tarmac and onto a small, private jet with a green, cartoon frog face on the tail. I gave my Grandfather a look with a raised eyebrow at that.

"Just a little joke," he said with a grin, "Normally, I prefer to keep a low profile, but I am not going through normal security if I don't have to."

Considering the mess airport security was last time through, I don't blame him. Seeing as we had a private jet, it wasn't long before we were well on the way to Academy City. I could hardly wait!

 **And done. Yeahhh, I may have overdone Harry slightly, but at least hes not the most powerful Wizard on the planet, although he definitely is among them.**

 **We also get to see Molly get a what for from Alice and the idiot Dursleys put firmly where they belong. In the bin with the rest of the rubbish.**

 **I wonder if you lot can guess why he has Dragon Blood? Probably, mainly because I have a gag in mind that I can't wait to do. It'll also make it blatantly obvious who he'll be Summoning.**

 **Now, where could the Crest have come from? And why is it only a third? Hehehe, keep reading and find out!**

 **Speaking of, make sure you leave a review on the way out!**


	17. Chapter 17

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 17

"Do you mind telling me exactly why we're doing this?" I asked irritably.

It had been a couple of days since the start of the holiday and we were now safely ensconced in Grandpa's house in the residential area of Academy City. Well, I say house, but it was more like a mansion. The Longbottoms were also staying there, but the place was so big that was no trouble. Currently, I was sat in the middle of one of the living rooms with my shirt off while Alice waved her wand over me, a look of concentration on her face. Currently, she was closely scrutinizing my back.

"I want to know where that Crest the test detected came from," said my Godmother, "The Potters are not a Magus family, so it couldn't have come from them, and the Evens are entirely non magical, as far as I know. Plus, you can't tap into whatever spells the Crest gives you if you don't know whats in there."

"How do you even know about Magus?" I asked, "I didn't think it was widely known in the Magical World."

"Oh, its not," said Alice, "I only know because my family is made up of a Wizarding Branch and a Magus Branch, both of which are old and powerful."

"How old?" I asked.

"Very old."

We fell silent for a moment, before I nearly jumped out of my skin with a yelp as Alice poked me with her wand.

"Alright, seriously, what are you doing back there?" I demanded.

"Your back seems to have a number of Circuits unusually close to the surface," said Alice, "So close, its caused what appears to be scaring."

She waved her wand and a pair of mirrors appeared so I could see my back. Running up my spine was a triangular stretch of what appeared to be scar tissue with the point at the base of my spine. There also appeared to be a very slight pattern on it of slightly darker skin. I blinked a couple of times at the sight.

"What caused that?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, but I think it might be because of Avalon," said Alice.

I hmmed in thought.

"Well, my back did seem to burn when I healed from Quirrell's attacks at the end of last year," I muttered, "I guess thats as good a theory as any."

Alice sent me a glare through the mirror that told me I'd be explaining that in detail later.

"Well, thats one mystery solved, but I still can't figure out where that Crest is," she said with a sigh.

Said sigh turned into a yelp of surprise as an arm suddenly reached past her and prodded me in the back, right between the shoulder blades.

"Right here," said a familiar old voice laced with amusement.

Alice and I nearly jumped out of our skins and spun around to face the wily old Vampire who had just appeared in the room. Unfortunately, I had been sitting down, so my legs got tangled in the chair and I tripped, landing in a heap at the laughing old geezers feet.

" _YOU!"_ hissed Alice, whipping up her wand to point at Zelretch, the tip glowing dangerously, "What do you want here?!"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood visiting an old friend and I thought I'd drop by to visit my latest toy," he said, "Woops, I mean, interest."

I gulped.

"Now would you mind pointing that somewhere else Miss Barthomeloi?" continued Zelretch, "Or is it Mrs Longbottom now?"

It took all I had not to react to that.

"The latter," growled Alice as she reluctantly lowered her wand.

Zelretch bowed his head slightly before turning to me.

"Now then Harry my boy, would you mind channeling some Magic into your back please?" he said.

I gritted my teeth at the idea of another manipulative old man calling me 'my boy' (although at least Zelretch was honest. With him, you KNEW he was going to screw you over), but did as I was told. Almost immediately, my entire back lit up like a christmas tree, the scarring from Avalon glowing gold and blue while a small area between my shoulder blades in the shape of a triangle lit up green.

"There we go," said Zelretch, tapping the triangle, "Thats the Crest, the first part of the Peverel Crest."

My eye twitched.

"Peverel? But I thought that was a Wizarding family?" said Alice.

"It is, but at one point, it was a powerful Magus family," said Zelretch, "Unfortunately, the Family died out with three brothers as the two oldest never had Children and the youngests children were born without Circuits. Fortunately, they were able to save their Crest by engraving it onto some of their greatest creations…"

"The Cloak of Invisibility, the Resurrection Stone and the Elder Wand," I said, cutting off the old Vampire.

"Exactly," he said, "They were designed so that, should one of their blood with active Circuits come into contact with these objects, the Crest would be transferred to them and, hopefully, see their family restored."

"And you know this, how exactly?" asked Alice.

Zelretch smiled smugly and held up his Jewel Sword.

"The Elder Wand is a prototype of this," he said, "The reason its so powerful is that it can augment the users spells with extra dimensional energy."

Then, something clicked in my head.

"Wait a sec, that means that you're the Eldest Brother!" I said in shock.

Zelretch nodded, smug grin firmly in place.

"I placed my portion of the Crest, along with a few of my own Circuits in the Wand before I went to fight the Crimson Moon," said Zelretch, "Cadmus was obsessed with the idea of creating artificial life after his wife died. He actually succeeded in bringing her back as a Homunculus, but he was never able to have children of his own, so he used my method and engraved his Crest and Circuits onto his Ring, the same artifact that was integral to the creation of a Perfect Homunculus. As for Ignotus...well, he was always more interested in Wizardry than Magecraft and prefered not to use it. I think he was actually glad that his children were born without Circuits. It took nearly a year of asking to get him to agree to place his portion of the Crest onto his Cloak."

Alice looked like she was about to either keel over or pop a blood vessel

"So basically, what your saying is that if I can get my hands on the Wand and the Stone, I will have the entire Crest?" I asked.

"Exactly," said Zelretch.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that Dumbledore has the Wand, but I have no idea where the Stone is…"

I caught Zelretchs raised eyebrow and shrugged. He rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything.

"In the meantime, I don't suppose you could give me some idea of whats actually in the Crest and how to use it?" I asked, "It'd be nice to know this stuff."

Zelretch wordlessly dropped a thick looking tome on the coffee table.

"And I strongly suggest you get started," he said, "By my calculations, you have about two years before Area 7 becomes the center of a rather...interesting event."

He vanished, leaving Alice looking furious and me confused. Area 7 wasn't really anything special as far as I knew, just a center for high and middle schools. Sure, it was one of the more varied Districts and was the location of Crowleys Windowless Building, but other than that its only distinction was that it was one of the few areas given a name other than its district number. That name was Fuyuki…

My eyes widened and I looked down at my hand at the smudge that still had not shifted. In fact, it was becoming darker and more distinct every day.

"Oh shit," I muttered.

There was a flash of light and a bit of paper appeared on my lap.

 _Finally figured it out, have you?_

I scowled and tore up the note.

* * *

A couple of days later, I was walking through the park nursing a headache. For the past few days, I had been sure I was forgetting something incredibly important, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what. It was the start of the holidays, so it wasn't a piece of homework, all of my assignments had been handed in and I hadn't forgotten any of my friends birthdays, so what in the world could it be? I sighed as I stopped in front of a vending machine to get a drink. I put in my change and pushed the button, still grumbling to myself. Nothing happened.

"What the…"

I pushed the button a couple of times, before pushing the button to get my money back. Nothing happened again. My eyebrow twitched.

"Oh come on, I can't be that unlucky!" I said.

"Here, try this."

I jumped as a girl brushed past me and kicked the vending machine. As she did, I caught a glimpse up her skirt and saw she was wearing shorts. My eyebrow twitched again. Well, its nice to see that my luck is just as bipolar as always. The vending machine spluttered and a can of drink dropped out.

"Here ya go," said the girl as she held it out, "This is what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said as I took the drink, eyeing the girl who had helped me.

Sure enough, it was a younger Mikoto Misaka. She looked about the same age as me, but other than looking a tad younger, she looked pretty much as I expected. Short, chestnut hair and eyes and a Tokiwadai uniform.

"No problem," said Misaka, "This stupid thing ate my money a few weeks ago."

She glared at the broken machine and muttered something about losing 10,000 Yen.

"So now you kick it?" I asked as I opened my can.

"Yep, right up until it coughs up what it owes me," she said, before glancing at her watch, "Oh crap, I gotta go."

"Thanks again!" I called after her as she hurried away, "Well, that was interesting."

With that done, I continued on my walk, absently noticing that there were a lot of people with dogs out today. Oddly enough, that seemed to tickle whatever it was I was trying to remember, but it was still floating just out of reach.

* * *

I had just left the park and was walking past a bank when the sound of an alarm reached my ears. Like everyone else on the street, I paused and looked into the bank. However, unlike everyone else who immediately started moving away and pulling out phones to call Anti-Skill, I cursed under my breath when I recognized the kid currently being held hostage by the would-be bankrobber.

"Great, this must be my lucky day," I growled, "Meeting Misaka and now having to deal with this…tch."

I turned on my heel and teleported into a phone booth inside the bank out of sight of everyone else. Now, had I been in the Wizarding World, I wouldn't have given two shits about it, but here was a tad different. For starters, I actually liked the people who could get hurt here, albeit just as fictional characters at this moment in time, but chances were I'd end up making friends with them anyway since Saten and I had plans to meet up tomorrow. Unfortunately, I was a tad to late and Kuroko was already getting smacked down by the robber as she tried to get Uiharu to safety.

"Nope, not happening," I muttered and held out my hands.

An instant later, I was holding two disoriented girls by the collors and the robber was looking extremely confused at the sudden loss of his hostage and punching bag.

"Wha…" started Kuroko as she blinked up at me in confusion.

I grinned down at her and set her on her and Uiharu feet.

"Teleporter," I said, "Now, lets deal with the idiot."

I stepped around the two Judgment officers, cracking my knuckles as the bank robber turned to me, scowling.

"So, another idiot who thinks its a good idea to get in my way," he growled, "I guess I'll have to deal with you first."

He reached into his pocket, only to freeze, a look of worry crossing his face. I smirked and opened my clenched fist, allowing a hand full of ball bearings to clatter to the floor.

"What the...how?" spluttered the robber.

"Now why would I tell you that?" I asked, "So, are you ready to give up?"

"Not on your life!" snarled the robber as he flung the knife in his hand at me.

My response was to teleport it, blade down, to my hand. Due to his power and the speed it was thrown, it immediately shot into the floor and buried itself up to the hilt. I grinned and vanished, reappearing behind him, grabbing him around the waist and taking a leaf out of Luvia's book by slamming him head first into the ground. I had not Reinforced my strength so as to avoid cracking his skull open, but it was still enough to knock him unconscious.

"Well, that was fun," I drawled.

* * *

Anti-Skill arrived soon after to take the two bank robbers into custody, treat the few injuries and give me a good scolding. Still, it wasn't exactly uncommon for Espers to help out in such situations, so other than said scolding and an order to remain out of Judgment and Anti-Skills business in the future, I was quickly left alone. I breathed a sigh of relief as the Anti-Skill officer walked away, barking orders at her men.

"Christ, that was far more painful than it needed to be," I muttered.

I glanced around and saw Kuroko getting patched up by Uiharu on the other side of the room. The younger Teleporter kept shooting looks my way. I shrugged and made my way over to them.

"Hey there," I said as I approached, "Are you two alright?"

"Nothing I won't heal from," said Kuroko, "You're the one who helped us, right?"

I nodded.

"You shouldn't have got involved," said Kuroko.

"Shirai, don't be rude!" hissed Uiharu.

"Aw, don't worry about it," I said, waving a hand, "Shes not wrong after all. But, I've never been one to sit back and watch someone get hurt."

That was a blatant lie as I'd happily sit back and watch the likes of Dumbledore and his flunkies get trampled by stampeding morons if I had the chance, but they didn't need to know that.

"No, Uiharu's right," said Kuroko, "Even if you shouldn't have, you probably saved my neck. Thank you for that. And, um…"

She shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't supposed you could give me some tips on how to develop my power, could you?" she said, "Its just, I'm a Teleporter to and…"

"Say no more, I'm happy to help," I said, "Although I may not be much help as I'm technically not an Esper."

I caught the two girls odd looks.

"I'm a Gemstone," I said, "A natural power user. Still, I suppose I could help. Hmm, the best advice I can give is to stop thinking and just do it."

"What do you mean?" asked Kuroko.

"I mean, when you want to go somewhere, just…"

I teleported to the other side of the bench she was sitting on.

"...go."

"Thats not exactly helpful," muttered Kuroko.

I shrugged helplessly.

"Sorry, but its the best I can do," I said, "Like I said, I'm a Gemstone, my powers come naturally."

I glanced down at my watch.

"Sorry to cut this short, but I gotta go," I said, "Hope to see ya around!"

I jogged away, pausing only to check with an Anti-Skill officer that I wasn't needed anymore, before heading down the street.

"Now then, lets see if I can't remember what it is I forgot," I muttered as I walked under a neon sign with a light bulb on it.

As I did, a family with a big, black irish Wolfhound walked past me and the light bulb clicked on, both literally above my head and metaphorically.

"Oh crap, I forgot about Sirius!"

 **And done and dusted. A busy chapter this time as we discover how the worlds are woven together, meet a few characters and even had a little action scene.**

 **I've been planning on having the Peverels as Magus right from the start, but the idea of Zelretch being the Eldest came to me as I was typing this. It doesn't really play into anything, other than the possibility of Harry using the Wand as the bases for his Sword in the future. If your wondering about the name change, he changed his name to his current one at some point between beating the Crimson Moon and the present, probably to prevent his family from being targeted by Vampire haters.**

 **I wonder if you can guess who the Homunculus Cadmus created was? Will that be relevant? Maybe~!**

 **An encounter with a Certain Vending Machine and a Certain Railgun. That probably won't tie into anything as he won't be officually meeting Misaka properly for a bit.**

 **Oh look, the first big change to the Railgun canon, Harry helps out with the robbery. I needed to let Kuroko get at least a little hurt to help temper her Gryffindor tendencies. Speaking of, what houses do you think the girls from Railgun would be in? My guess would be Gryffindor for Saten, Kuroko and Misaka and Hufflepuff for Uiharu.**

 **And Harry realizes what he forgot and will spend a good portion of the next chapter slapping himself silly for it. Yeah, this Harry can be a tad forgetful.**

 **To be honest, I dont know why I did that last gag since its not as effective reading it. Still, its the sort of visual humour I'd expect from ACSR, so I included it anyway.**

 **And with that, I'm done. Don't forget to leave a review on the way out!**


	18. Chapter 18

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 18

Fortunately for the mutt, while I had completely forgotten about him, the Longbottoms hadn't. Whats more, they also knew that the rat was the Potters actual Secret Keeper and had already taken steps to see Sirius released. Frank was the one working on it, muttering something under his breath about incompetent morons in charge. With that issue no longer weighing on me, all I had to do was keep Neville from standing out too much. Unfortunately, that was a tad easier said than done. While Alice and, to a degree, Frank were more than capable of blending in with Muggles, either through experience or having lived in a Muggle area when they were kids, Neville had been sheltered by his Grandmother who, despite not being a Blood Bigot, still had some rather odd and backwards ideas of Muggles. As a result, Neville had a tendency of sticking out a mile with his looks of awe at all the technology in the City. Fortunately for me, those looks weren't entirely uncommon among those who have recently arrived in Academy City, so I could just pass them off as that. I also had a plan to obtain some help in dealing with said issues.

* * *

"Are you sure this'll be OK?" asked Neville for the fifth time.

"Yes Neville, it will be fine," I said, rolling my eyes in exasperation, "Look, you can't spend the entire holiday locked up in Grandpa's house, no matter what your Grandmother might think. So, you are going to come with me to meet Saten and we can all enjoy a day out with new friends. Got it?"

Neville grumbled something under his breath, but dropped his protests.

"Thats better," I said, "Now buck up. she'll be here soon."

I glanced at my best male friend, only to see that he seemed to be staring at something behind me, mouth slightly slack. I blinked and turned around, only to snort when I spotted what he was looking at. It appeared that I was very much correct in my assessment that Saten would be arriving soon as she and a very familiar girl were walking towards us. Ironically enough, it looked like Neville was staring at Uiharu. Daww, young love. Ohh, I was going to have so much fun with this!

* * *

Third Person POV, with Saten

When Saten woke up that morning, she had be extremely excited. She'd finally get a chance to meet her long time penpal and the one who had helped her finally pull herself out of mediocrity and develop her powers. True, she was still only a Level 1, but progress was progress. Plus, the fact they shared a similar sense of humour helped.

Considering how eager she was, it didn't take her long to get ready and scarf down her breakfast and she was practically skipping as she left her dorm building. As she did, she spotted her best friend, Uiharu, stood on the other side of the road with her back to her, checking something on her palmtop computer. A smirk crossed Satens lips as she snuck up on her friend.

"Ui~haru!" she yelled as she flipped the flower waring girls skirt.

"IEE!" squeaked the smaller girl as she nearly jumped out of her skin, her face going bright red.

Uiharu spun around and glared at the now laughing Saten, her cheeks crimson.

"Will you please stop doing that Saten?!" she whined, "Its humiliating!"

"Aww, don't be like that," said Saten, "I think pingu print panties are cute."

Uiharu let out a wordless wine of humiliation as she clapped her hands down on her skirt, as if afraid it was going to flip again.

"So, what are you doing today Uiharu?" asked Saten once the two girls had calmed down, "More Judgment training?"

Uiharu shook her head.

"No, I've been given the day off after what happened yesterday," she said.

"Why, what happened?" asked Saten.

"You know that Bank robbery gone wrong that was on the news?" asked Uiharu.

Saten gasped.

"Wait, you mean you were there?!" she demanded.

Uiharu nodded.

"Ohmygosh, areyouOK?" said Saten, grabbing her friend by the shoulders and checking her, as if looking for any injuries

"I'm fine, I wasn't hurt at all," said Uiharu with a smile.

Saten could be a tad...exuberant, but she was a very good friend to have.

"What happened, tell me everything!" demanded Saten.

Uiharu did just that, including how the green eyed teen had saved her and Shirai.

"Wait, green eyes?" asked Saten.

Uiharu blinked.

"Thats right," she said.

"He didn't happen to have messy, black hair and an English accent as well, did he?"

Uiharu gave her friend an odd look.

"Yes, why?" she asked suspiciously, "Why, do you know something?"

Saten didn't answer, instead glancing down at her watch. It was nearly time for her to meet up with Harry. She intended to introduce Uiharu to her English penpal anyway, so why not now? Decision made, Saten grabbed Uiharu's hand.

"Come on, I want to introduce you to someone," she said and took off down the street, dragging her confused friend behind her, completely ignoring her protests.

* * *

It didn't take long for the two girls to reach the planned meeting point, a large plaza with a crepe stand and a good number of trees providing shade for the many customers. Saten looked around and quickly spotted Harry sat on a bench under a tree with another, slightly tubby looking, boy she recognized as Harry's friend Neville from the photos he had sent her of him and his friends.

"Over there," said Saten, leading her mildly perturbed friend over to the bench.

"Saten, will you please tell me what…" started Uiharu, before trailing off as she got a proper look at the boys her friend was dragging her towards.

Neither of the two were Japanese, although that wasn't that uncommon in Academy City, who hosted students from all over the world. However, Uiharu didn't recognize either of them. That is until they got a bit closer and she recognized the slimmer boys black hair and green eyes, along with the black leather jacket he was wearing.

"AH, its you!" she gasped without thinking.

The green eyed boy let out a bark of laughter while Saten started snickering. A moment later, Uiharu realized what she had done and blushed to the tip of her toes.

"A-ah, sorry," she said.

"Aww, don't worry about it," said the green eyed boy, "We weren't properly introduced yesterday. I'm Harry Potter, Satens penpal. Your Uiharu, right?"

Uiharu nodded.

"Thats right, I'm Uiharu Kazari," she said.

Harry nodded and turned to Saten.

"And its great to finally meet you in person Saten," he said.

"Likewise," said Saten, "So whos your friend?"

Harry glanced back at his friend who seemed to be mildly tongue tied and staring at...ohh, well wasn't that interesting? Looks like Uiharu had an admirer! Saten smirked. She would definitely be getting some mileage out of this!

"Oh, this is Neville Longbottom," said Harry, slapping the blond on the shoulder, snapping him out of whatever trance he was in in the process, "My best mate."

"U-um, n-nice to meet you," he stuttered, glancing shyly at Uiharu.

The girl smiled at the shy boy, apparently completely oblivious to the reason for his blush. Saten and Harry weren't though and were smirking identical smirks at all the ammunition the two were giving them.

* * *

Back to Harrys POV

Following our little meet and greet, the four of us headed out to explore the city. Well, actually, it was more Uiharu and Saten giving us a tour of the area, but thats mostly semantics. Fortunately, I was able to keep Neville from gaping like a Muggleborn Firstie at Diagon at all the advanced technology on clear display. Then again, considering that some of the things we past nearly had me gaping, I suspect he wouldn't have stood out that much. We had lunch at a rather nice little place and basically spent the day acting like the preteens we were. No magic, no science powers, no life threatening fights, just four kids enjoying their time away from school. If it sounds like I'm having trouble coming up with interesting things to say, its because I am. Looking back now, I truly wish I could have more days like that.

But thats boring, so lets get back to the good stuff!

* * *

When Neville and I returned home that evening, we were just in time to see the end of a cloak vanish through the Floo that had been connected so the Longbottoms could maintain their duties back in England. Sat on the couch was Frank and a man in dark blue robes with slicked back hair who was packing the last of his papers into a leather briefcase, a smug look on his face. As we entered, Frank looked up and smiled tiredly.

"Hey boys," he said.

"Whats going on Dad?" asked Neville, "Whats Mr Wright doing here?"

"I'm helping right a terrible miscarriage of law," said the man, apparently Mr Wright, "Its nice to see you again Mr Longbottom."

He turned to me and held out a hand.

"Phoenix Wright, Wizarding Lawyer," he said, "Its nice to meet you Mr Potter."

I blinked a couple of times as I shook his hand.

"Errr nice to meet you?" I said hesitantly.

"Mr Wright has been helping me put together a case to get Sirius out of jail," said Frank, "We've finished the preliminaries, so he should be out of Azkaban by morning. Then its just a matter of making sure he actually gets a trial."

"That won't be a problem Mr Longbottom," said Phoenix, "There is no way that Amelia will allow anyone from preventing this from going to Court. Mr Black will be a free man by weeks end."

He shook Franks hand and vanished through the Floo. I stared after him as I tried desperately to decide whether I should be worried or not. I only knew of the Ace Attorney games by reputation, although I did know that Phoenix Wright was supposed to be a brilliant lawyer. Oh, and his catchphrase. Hmm, I wonder if I could convince Frank to take me to the Trial?

I shook off my thoughts for now as I took a seat and started chatting with Frank over tea and biscuits.

* * *

Azkaban 3rd person POV

In a dark cell in the Maximum Security Wing, a large black dog poked his nose from under the bed as the Dementors outside his cell floated away. It wasn't even close to dinnertime, the one time that the Dementors were removed from this corridor, so that meant that either someone was being brought in...or taken out. Considering that this corridor was dedicated to some of the worst bits of Human scum the Wizarding World had to offer, it wasn't often it had new inmates and the dog couldn't smell death, so it was unlikely that someone had died. This could be interesting.

The dog slipped out from under the bed and transformed into a gaunt, skeletal man with curtains of greasy black hair and sallow skin. Sirius Black stood and moved to the cell door, resting his head against the cold, black iron as he tried to see down the corridor. The first thing he saw was the silver light of a Patronus, followed by a group in red Auror robes, led by the limping form of Alastor Moody and a square jawed Witch with a shock of red hair pulled back into a severe bun. Now Sirius was really interested. Whatever was happening must be really important if Amelia Bones was here. He relaxed against the bars and got settled for the first bit of entertainment he'd had in 10 years.

However, it was all for naught as the group reached his cell and, much to his surprise, stopped.

"Sirius Black, by order of the Ministry, we are transferring you to the DMLE holding cells," said the red-headed Witch.

Sirius was so surprised he fainted.

* * *

When he came to, his first thought was that he had just had an extremely cruel dream or his sanity was finally starting to slip. However, that thought was banished an instant later when he noticed the lack of Dementor induced chill and screams, both mental and physical, along with the fact the bed he was laying on actually had a mattress.

He opened his eyes, only to have to immediately shut them again as the lights in his cell burned them. It took a few trys, but eventually his eyes adjusted to the light enough that he could actually see without being blinded. When he could, he looked around and nearly broke down in tears when he realized that yes, he was indeed in the Auror holding cells. Admittedly, he knew them better from the other side of the bars, but he'd seen them often enough to recognize them. There were only two reasons that he would have been transferred. The first was unlikely as, had the Ministry decided to execute him, they would have done it in his Cell and the second, while unbelievable after all this time, was also exactly what he had hoped for. He was finally getting a trial! At that thought, he really did break down. He was going to be free! He could finally expose the rat traitor! He could finally see Harry and apologize to him for being a horrible Godfather!

* * *

On the other side of the bars, hidden by the enchantments on said bars, a pink haired trainee Auror, better known as Nymphadora 'DON'T CALL ME THAT' Tonks, stared at the man she'd believed for most of her life was responsible for the deaths of Lily and James Potter, the people she had considered an aunt and uncle.

"Sickle for your thoughts?" grunted Moody, her mentor as he stumped up beside her.

"Are we sure about this?" asked Tonks, "I mean, after all these years…"

"It was Frank Longbottom who told Madam Bones about this and Phoenix Wright is the one on the case," said Moody, cutting her off, "I truly have no reason to doubt either of them. If they believe that Sirius Black in innocent, I am inclined to believe them. Hell, from what I hear, Wright, his assistant and Bones spent a full night and day searching the records and were unable to find any record of a trial. Even if the Ministry Archives are a total mess, they should have found SOMETHING. Instead, all they were able to unearth is a report of his arrest and an order to transfer him to Azkaban."

Tonks frowned.

"But for that to happen…" she said.

"It would shine some very bright lights on things that a great many powerful people don't want seen," said Moody, "That's why we're here, to make sure that Black doesn't have an...accident while waiting for his Trial."

Tonks bit her lip. She still wasn't entirely convinced, but she'd do her job. Besides, there was one good thing about this. Chances were that Lord Longbottom would be bringing Harry along and it had been far too long since she had last seen the kid.

 **And done. Sorry for the wait, but I genuinely had no idea what I should do for their day out. Eventually, I just decided to admit it and move on.**

 **I...truly have no idea where Phoenix Wright came from considering I've never played any of the games. As such, I have no idea how accurate he'll be, but one thing that will be appearing is OBJECTION!**

 **So, what do we think, should I pair Uiharu and Neville together or should this just be puppy love? Truth be told, I have no idea where that idea even came from, it just sort of happened.**

 **Speaking of, I'm not sure why I gave Uiharu Pingu print panties, but it was probably because of the alliteration. And I couldn't think of any other adorable characters who's name begins with P. Well, there is Winnie the Pooh, but...actually, I don't need to point out why that would be a bad idea.**

 **Oh, before I forget, I'm aging Tonks up a year so she wasn't at Hogwarts last year. Considering what I have in mind, it wouldn't make any sense that she didn't at least try to approach Harry during the year.**

 **And with that, its time for me to sign off. By my estimate, we have one, maybe two more chapter of the holidays to do and then it'll be time for the start of the Second Year and the introduction of a character who will either have you lot praising me for my creativity...or hunting me down with pitchforks and torches. Either way, I'm looking forwards to your reactions. Don't forget to leave a review!**


	19. Chapter 19

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **For some reason, a lot of people seem to think I'm going to be shoving the paring now. When the characters are 11 and 12. Yeahhh, no. Any pairings won't be happening until 4th year at the earliest. Also, I'm having some serious trouble finding accurate timelines of events, so any issues can be written off as a case of this being a different world and Outsider tomfoolery. Anyway, Enjoy!**

Chapter 19

Following the reveal that Frank apparently had Phoenix Wright on the case, the next few weeks passed by relatively quickly. I'm not sure whether someone was blocking it, the Ministry was that incompetent or if thats just normal when it comes to criminal trials. Still, its not like I had nothing to do in that time. With all four of us off school, Neville, Saten, Uiharu and I spent a lot of time together and quickly became very good friends. Neville still had a tendency of stuttering whenever he spoke with Uiharu, made worse when they were alone, and Uiharu was still oblivious to the crush he had on her, despite the teasing Saten and I heaped on them.

* * *

Since we needed to head back to get mine and Neville's school stuff anyway, Frank agreed that I could tag along to watch Sirius' trial. Before that though, my and Neville's birthdays rolled around and were celebrated at an excellent sushi bar. After a night of good food, good fun and good company, I returned to my room to find Lizzie chasing something around the room, knocking things over and making a total mess.

"What the…"

My hands snapped out and I caught both troublemakers, one by the back of its pillowcase and the other by the scruff of her neck. I sighed as I realized that I was holding a scared looking Dobby as his legs kept going like the clappers and Lizzie kept snapping at him. It took a moment for them to realize that I'd got a hold of them.

" _Harry, your back!"_ chirped Lizzie, wriggling out of my grip and hopping up onto my shoulder.

"Whats going on?" I asked, "And who's the House Elf?"

" _No idea,"_ said Lizzie, growling at Dobby.

By this point, Dobby apparently realized that he wasn't moving and opened his eyes. He glanced around and let out a squeak at the sight of me.

"Harry Potter!" he said in a high-pitched voice that forced me to suppress a slight wince, "So long has Dobby wanted to meet you, sir . . . Such an honor it is. . . ."

"Rrrrright," I said, "If I put you two down, are you going to keep running around?"

Dobby shook his head and I dropped him. He landed on his feet and quickly fixed his pillowcase while keeping a weather eye on Lizzie as she glared at him.

"Now then, what do you want?" I asked as I sat down on my bed.

"Dobby has come to tell you, sir . . . it is difficult, sir . . . Dobby wonders where to begin. . . ." said the House Elf.

"I find the beginning is usually a good start," I drawled.

"Ah, of course sir," he gasped, dabbing his face with a corner of the grubby pillowcase he was wearing, "Harry Potter is valiant and bold! He has braved so many dangers already! But Dobby has come to protect Harry Potter, to warn him, even if he does have to shut his ears in the oven door later. . . . Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts."

I stared at him blankly.

"Alright," I said, "And why not?"

"There is a plot, Harry Potter!" said Dobby A plot to make most terrible things happen at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year. Dobby has known it for months, sir. Harry Potter must not put himself in peril. He is too important, sir!"

"Yeah, screw that," I said, "Mortal danger sounds like fun!"

Dobby gaped at me at that. I snickered at the look on his face.

"Only joking," I said, "In all seriousness though, I honestly don't care. I'm more than capable of taking care of myself and I need to stick around at least until I've sorted my OWLs...or someone pushes me to far and I tell the entire world to go fuck itself. Plus, I have friends there."

"Friends who don't even write to Harry Potter?" asked Dobby.

"Oh, so you're the one whos been intercepting my Owl mail," I said, making Dobby freeze, "I thought it was Dumbledore, so I had Hermione switch to Emails."

Dobby looked stunned, before a sad look crossed his features.

"Then Dobby has no choice," he said and darted for the door.

I sighed and closed my hand as I teleported him to my hand, resulting in him once again dangling from my grip by his pillowcase.

"Yeah, sorry, no," I said, "As annoying as the Wizarding World can be, I'm not quite ready to leave it behind. Now, I'm gonna say this once. Leave me alone or I'll make this seem like a vacation."

Dobby vanished from my hand.

" _Where did you send him?"_ asked Lizzie.

"About 10000 meters above the Pacific," I said.

The Dragon blinked owlishly at me.

"What? He'll be fine. He'll probably pop away as soon as he realizes where he is."

" _And if he doesn't?"_

"Why should I care?"

" _Good point."_

Now, don't get me wrong, Dobbys a cool character...in a story. However, I had no interest in being on the receiving end of his attempts to 'save' me. Hopefully, this will convince him that I didn't need protecting. I absently waved my wand and returned my room to its previous state. Yay for a complete lack of underaged laws that actually apply in Acadamy City! Hell, the Statute of Secrecy was basically given the finger here as well since many Magical feats could be brushed off as Esper bullshit.

* * *

Anyway, a couple of weeks after my birthday, our Hogwarts letters arrived, born by out of breath owls that I took pity on and teleported back to London to save them the flight. Alice took one look at the letter and let out a groan.

"Alright, what moron thinks that Lockharts books are in any way sutible for DADA class?" she asked.

"Considering how he acted in school, probably himself," muttered Frank.

Alice pulled a face.

"That doesn't bode well," she muttered, "Harry, Neville, make sure you do self study for DADA, alright? I highly doubt that anyone who plans to use Lockharts books is a good teacher."

"Noted," I said.

* * *

A couple of days after the letters arrived, we headed back to England to get our shopping. While Acadamy City did have a Magical district, most of what we needed (new robes, British school books and potion ingredients) were only available in the UK. Besides, we needed to head back for Sirius' trial, so it was basically decided that we'd be moving into the Longbottom manor for the remainder of the Summer.

After we arrived, the first job was getting our school supplies, which meant meeting up with Hermione at the alley. We arranged to meet at the Cauldron and were currently waiting for her while ignoring the looks we were receiving from the other patrons. Frank was going through some paperwork for Sirius' trial while scowling darkly. The longer it was delayed, the shorter the Longbottom Lord's temper got until he eventually completely lost it and stormed through the Floo. I'm not sure what he'd done, but the Prophet the next day announced Sirius' trial and Frank spent the next two days looking incredibly smug.

I was more interested in watching the people that came through. Seriously, the Wizarding World was home to a ton of interesting characters, usually Magicals coming off the street from the Muggle world wearing outfits that made me wonder how in the world the Wizarding World was still hidden or not locked in a mental hospital. I also spent some time chatting with some classmates and watching tiny, nervous or excited looking Firsties as they came through, including one girl with pale blond hair and red eyes of all things who was practically dragging a tall, black haired man in black robes. Seriously, the two were near complete opposites, but it was blatantly obvious that they were Father and Daughter.

Shortly after those two headed through to the Alley, Hermione arrived, looking annoyed.

"Hey Hermione," I said as she dropped into a seat next to me, "I haven't done anything to piss you off yet, so I feel no worry in asking you whats wrong."

Hermione snorted.

"I dare say you won't waste any time in utterly destroying my sanity," she muttered, "But if you must know, my brothers the problem."

"I didn't even know you had a brother," said Neville.

"Yeah, we don't get on well," said Hermione, "He's also a right arrogant brat who never fails to drive me up the wall whenever we speak."

"Younger?" I asked.

"Older actually," said Hermione with a sigh, "Look, I really don't want to talk about this. Lets just get our stuff so I can get my mind off it."

Neville and I agreed and headed out into the Alley as soon as Frank finished his tea.

* * *

Over the course of getting what we needed, we ended up running into a good number of friends and classmates, including Daphne and Tracy who we had a pleasant conversation with, a few of our roommates and Luvia, who introduced us to her younger sister, Miyu, a serious and oddly cold girl who was starting this year.

Then, we reached Flourish and Blotts…

"What the hell?" I said as I saw the massive crowd that was pushing and shoving to get in, "Whats going on?"

Frank cleared his throat and pointed at a sign in the window.

GILDEROY LOCKHART

will be signing copies of his autobiography

MAGICAL ME

today 12:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

AT FLOURISH AND BLOTTS

"Right, lets come back another day," I said as I turned to leave.

Before I could however, Hermione grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the shop.

"HEY, whats the big idea Hermione!" I yelped.

My friend looked back at me and I felt my stomach drop when I saw the sparkle in her eye.

"We can actually meet him!" Hermione squealed, "I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!"

"Oh hell, this is gonna end badly," I muttered, bemoaning my fate as the Longbottom males followed us in.

The crowd seemed to be made up mostly of middle aged witches and a harassed-looking wizard stood at the door.

"Calmly, please, ladies. . . . Don't push, there . . . mind the books, now. . . ," he was saying as he tried to control the crowd.

I'm not entirely sure how, but we somehow ended up near the front of the crowd, just in time to see Lockhart emerge from the back of the shop, flashing a grin that made some ladies in the front rows swoon and...dear god was he actually glittering? He flicked his curly, blond hair and smiled at the crowd, once more sparkling as, and I kid you not, a background of roses magically appeared. Seriously, I thought this kind of thing only happened in Anime! I paused. Wait, this world WAS an Anime world, so that could actually happen.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I muttered as I tried to take in the sheer unfiltered ponciness of the fraud.

"I know what you mean," said Frank, looking slightly green.

I stumbled as a short man with a camera shoved past me and started snapping pictures, causing clouds of dark purple smoke to waft into my face.

"Oi!"

I shoved the Camera man away as I gagged on the foul smelling smoke. The commotion seemed to draw Lockharts attention and he looked towards us. Then, his gaze locked onto me.

"It can't be Harry Potter!"

"Huh?"

The crowd parted, whispering excitedly as Lockhart dived forward, seized my arm and pulled me to the front. My eye twitched as Lockhart clapped me to his side.

"Nice big smile, Harry," said Lockhart, through his own gleaming teeth, "Together, you and I are worth the front page."

The camera flashed, catching the perfect shot of me tossing Lockhart over my shoulder as Lizzie sank her fangs into his ass. It took a while for the resulting chaos to die down, during which time I vanished into the crowds so Lockhart couldn't try grabbing me again. However, while I was strong enough to avoid being shoved over by the crowd, a small girl with blond hair wasn't and nearly ended up taking a trip into a large, teetering stack of books that was probably only held up by magic and prayers. I quickly caught her and pulled her out of the crush before she could get crushed by the books.

"Are you OK?" I asked as the girl tried to catch her breath.

"Y-yeah, I think so," she said as she straightened up.

I blinked as I realized it was the blond girl I'd seen come through earlier with her father. As she got a good look at me, the girl's eyes widened in shock.

"A-ah, your Harry Potter!" she gasped.

My eye twitched.

"Yes, I am," I said, barely restraining the urge to growl.

Her cheeks reddened at that, but before she could respond, Lockhart decided to speak up again.

"No no, I'm perfectly alright," said Lockhart, waving off the many middle aged Witches that were fussing over him, "I'm sure he didn't mean anything. Just excited over meeting me I'm sure."

My eye twitched and I resisted the urge to hit him with a Finn shot, which was one of the few Magecraft skills I'd managed to master using from my Crest (WOOT, Gandr Curse is awesome!). He glanced around, apparently searching for me, and looked a tad disappointed that he couldn't find me. However, he quickly regained his equilibrium and plastered his nauseating smile on his face.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make," he said, "I am delighted to announce that this year I shall be serving as the DADA teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

I let out a groan. Why oh why couldn't that have been something that had changed? This was not going to be a fun year.

"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" said a voice from behind me that did my already fraying nerves no favours.

I straightened up and found myself face-to-face with Malfoy, who was wearing his usual sneer.

"Famous Harry Potter," said Malfoy. "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" said the girl next to me.

"Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!" drawled Malfoy.

The girl went went scarlet as Neville and Hermione came over with Lockhart books in hand.

"Oh, hello Malfoy," said Neville in a carefully neutral tone.

"Well, I'm surprised to see you here Longbottom," sneered Malfoy, "I wouldn't have thought they'd let a Squib like you back into Hogwarts."

My eyebrows shot up.

"You do know that Neville did better than you, right Malfoy?" asked Hermione before I could say anything.

Malfoys face contorted into a scowl.

"Who asked you," he snarled, "You filthy little…"

"Mr Malfoy, do watch your language in public," said an unfamiliar voice.

The girl grinned.

"Daddy!" she yelled as she threw herself at the man in black who had just emerged from the crowd.

The man caught her with ease.

"Hello Pumpkin, have you got everything?" he said.

The girl nodded, but I didn't hear her reply as I turned to look at him properly and my eyes widened as I recognized him. I hadn't got a good look at him earlier, but now there was no doubt about it. The man before me was Kiritsugu Emiya and the look he was currently giving Malfoy did NOT bode well for his future health. Malfoy scowled and opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Lucius emerged from the crowd and cut his son off with a hand on his shoulder. I noticed that he seemed to be eyeing Kiritsugu werally, a stance I honestly wished I could mimic.

"Good morning Xenophilius," he said.

" _Wait, what?"_

 **BWAHAHAHAHA, oh, aren't I mean! Oh, how long have I been plotting this little twist, I'm almost sad its finally here!**

 **Since I've already addressed the potential relationships between characters up top, I won't rehash it. I would however like ideas for who I could pear Sirius up with.**

 **So, Harry meets Dobby and sends him packing. He'll be back though, although his attempts to 'help' Harry will be even less effective than the ones he makes in canon.**

 **Hmm, I wonder who Hermiones big brother could possibly be? Well, seeing as Neville has a connection with the Clock Tower, logically, I would give the Muggleborn a connection to the Science Side...or possibly just someone from the 'A Certain whatever' world. Hmm, who could it be? Hehehe.**

 **KIRITSUGU IS A WIZARD! More on that later, but its apparent that Illya isn't canon in any way shape or form...and neither is everyone's favorite ditzy girl, Luna. Well, she is, but ditzy in a different way. I wonder if you can guess what this version of Illya is opening the way for?**

 **Speaking off Kiritsugu and Illya….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT SORT OF REACTION THIS GETS! Come on people, lets see your reaction, leave me reviews and vindicate me! Until next time on this utter shitshow!**


	20. Chapter 20

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 20

OK, now I was really confused. Was this a case similar to Daphne and Tracy where they just resemble another character? Could be, but considering that Kiritsugu and (I glanced at the girl who could only be Luna) Illyasviel HAD to exist at this point, that would be one heck of a coincidence. Plus, neither of the apparent Lovegoods even remotely resembled their ditzy canon selves. I suppose it could be a case of the Kiritsugu look-alike sharing the name, but Xenophilius isn't exactly a common name.

I stifled the urge to scream and instead shook my head, hard. I'd think on this later, for now I should settle in and watch Lucius facing down a man who looked like the Magus Killer. Even if it turned out not to be Kiritsugu and just a doppleganger, I could still imagine Lucius going down to an Origin Bullet.

"Lucius," said Kiri...whoever it was, "I trust you are doing well?"

"Splendidly," said Malfoy sr., "Although I would be doing better if the Ministry would stop conducting raids on my home."

"If you had nothing to hide, you wouldn't have any reason to complain," said Xeno.

Lucius scowled.  
"Come Draco," he said, "Forgive me Xenophilius, but I have a lot to do today. See you at work."

"Of course," said Xeno.

Lucius beckoned to Draco and swept from the shop. With the arrogant blonds gone, the tall Wizard turned to us, his flat gaze sweeping over us until it came to rest on me. His eyes widened minutely at the sight of my eyes, but other than that he didn't react.

"I saw you help my Daughter young man," he said, "If you hadn't, she could have been badly hurt. Thank you for that."

"It was no problem sir," I said, drawing some odd looks from my friends at my respectful tone.

Normally, I wasn't really one for showing respect, but until I had genuine proof that the man before me wasn't the Magus Killer, I'd make an exception. No need to antagonize someone like that after all.

"No need to be so formal," said Xeno, "Not when I owe your Mother and Grandfather my life."

I blinked a couple of times at that as Xeno eyed me curiously.

"Then again, I have a feeling that that debt may well have been repaid," he said, "Ah, sorry, I'm being rude. I am Xenophilius Lovegood and this is my daughter Luna."

He patted the girl next to him on the shoulder as she waved shyly.

"Um, nice to meet you," I said.

"Likewise," said Xeno as he shook my hand.

As he did, his coat fell open slightly, allowing me to catch a glimpse of a holstered gun at his hip. A custom Thompson Contender to be precise. My head snapped up, just in time to see him give a very slight smirk. Yeah, he meant for me to see that.

"Kids, what are you just standing here for?" asked Frank as he emerged from the crowd, "Lets…"

He trailed off as he saw Xeno, his eyes widening slightly, before he scowled.

"Kiritsugu," he growled.

Welp, that clinches it. The Magus Killer looked surprised at Franks appearance, but quickly shook it off and smiled.

"Actually, I've left that name behind me," he said, "Now I'm Xenophilius Lovegood."

Ohhh, this won't end well for someone. Probably me in all honesty. Frank raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked simply.

Xeno sighed. I took a quick glance around and, upon noticing that no one was looking at me, sidled closer to listen in. I really wanted to know what in the hell was going on.

"After the war, I nearly died," he said, "I was exposed to what amounted to concentrated evil that infected my Circuits and would have killed me had Lily and Dr Evans not been willing to help me. They saved my life, but at the cost of permanently removing my Circuits. I'm not a Magus any more, hell, I was lucky to keep my Core! After that, all I wanted to do was retire and raise my daughter in peace."

I don't think the adults knew I was listening since my friends were busy getting to know Luna. Frank shot a look at the blond girl.

"But isn't she…"

Xeno grimaced and nodded.

"How the hell did you get Old Man Acht to let you take her?" asked Frank.

"With great difficulty," said Xeno, "I ended up having to convince him that she was a failure in terms of turning her into the Lesser Grail. It didn't help that the thing that cursed me was one vindictive bastard and nearly killed her, wiping her memory in the process."

"Let me guess, Lily helped again?" asked Frank.

"That woman was a damned genius," said Xeno, "I have no idea how, but she somehow managed to transform Luna into a normal Human child. Technically, shes 19, but for all intents and purposes, shes a normal 11 year old girl."

I shot a look at the blond who was currently babbling away about something at Hermione, who was starting to look rather ruffled. Considering how quick Luna was talking, I'm not to surprised by that, although considering Hermione sometimes caught a bad case of verbal diarrhea when faced with something new, I'm surprised she was having that much trouble. Still, I caught the tail end of the rant and was able to deduce that Luna was talking at Hermione about her favorite Anime. Which from the sound of things was magical...girl...anime. Aw crap. I really hope Zelretch didn't find out about this and give her Ruby...I nearly jumped out of my skin as the sound of laughter echoed through my head and I swore violently in german.

"HARRY!" yelled Hermione, looking scandalized, "Language!"

"German Hermione," I groused, "And you'll have to excuse me but I think I just gave the Troll ideas."

That earnt me some confused looks, but I didn't elaborate. I really didn't want Xeno gunning for me because I pointed Zelretch at his daughter.

* * *

The next day dawned bright and early with Frank dragging me out of bed at six in the morning, despite my sleepy protests, and ordered me to get dressed in the smart robes with the Potter crest on the heart Alice had bought for me the previous day. Once dressed and breakfast had been eaten, I was ushered through the Floo. Now, I had never traveled by Floo before but I quickly discovered that it was way worse than any of the other magical methods of transport because, on top of the nauseating spinning, upon reaching the end you were shot out of the fireplace with impressive force. So, when I reached the destination, I was fired bodily from the grate and slammed into a large board that was set up in front of each fireplace with a cushioning charm on it.

"OK, I think I'm gonna be sick," I muttered as I got to my feet.

"You'll be fine," said Frank as he vanished the soot from my robes, "Come on, lets go."

We headed in, pausing to get our wands weighed and headed through to the lifts. We had just stepped through the grated doors when a loud voice called out.

"Hey, hold that...WHOA!"

I turned, just in time to catch a pink topped ballistic missile. Thanks to training and an instinctive application of Reinforcement, I managed to prevent us from falling with just a slight step back. Lets see, spiky pink hair, Auror robes, unnaturally bright green eyes and clumsy as all hell. Yep, that'd be Tonks.

"Whoo, thanks for that kid," said Tonk.

"No problem," I said as I set her back on her feet.

Tonks looked up and her eyes widened when she saw my face.

"Hey, your Harry Potter!" she said.

I gave her a flat look and she looked sheepish.

"Sorry, that was stupid," she said.

"That it was," I drawled.

A throat clearing from an amused looking Frank drew attention over to him.

"Not to interrupt, but what are you doing here Nymphadora?" he asked, "I thought you were supposed to be guarding Sirius?"

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" snapped Tonks, her face and hair turning a delightful shade of red.

Frank raised his hands in surrender, but I could see the faint smirk on his lips. Tonks let out a huff of irritation.

"Moody sent me up to guide you down," she said, "He thinks someone might try attacking you."

"Paranoid old...who in there right mind would attack us in the Ministry?" growled Frank.

Tonks shrugged.

"No idea, I'm just following orders," she said.

She turned to me.

"Anyway, its nice to meet you properly Harry," she said, "I'm Tonks. Just Tonks. Use my first name and I'll hex your balls off."

"Nice to meet ya Tonks," I said, "So I take it your a Metamorph?"

"Oh, you noticed that?" asked Tonks, changing her hair and eyes to an exact copy of mine, "Not many people know about Metamorphs before meeting me."

I shrugged.

"I like reading," I said, "So, how far can you go?"

Tonks smirked and shifted her face into a wolfs snout and her ears into cat ears.

"Cool," I said with a grin, "Do they work?"

Tonks switched back and shook her head.

"Nah, its just cosmetic," she said.

"Thats a shame, imagine how useful having a bats hearing would be," I said, "Although, I wonder if you could make them work?"

"How do you mean?" asked Tonks.

"Well, rather than just changing your external body, have you ever thought about changing your insides?" I asked, "You could try altering the internal makeup of your eyes and ears to increase their sensitivity or possibly even give yourself the ability to see in the dark or even Infrared or UV light. If you could do that, the possibilities are endless!"

I glanced at my companions and realized I was getting blank looks. Apparently neither Frank or Tonks had any idea what I was talking about.

"Never mind," I said.

At that moment, the lift reached its destination and the grate opened to reveal the dark corridor that lead to the entrance of the Department of Mysteries and Minister Fudge speaking to a tall man who looked rather out of place in the Wizarding Governmental building. Why? Well, for starters, he wasn't wearing robes. Instead he was wearing a long, purple coat that was open enough to show a good portion of his chest and normal looking trousers. He had short, black hair with golden bangs and a small goatee. As the doors of the lift opened, both men turned and I was immediately pinned in place by a pair of violet eyes.

Just like the first time I met Voldemort in the forest, the world around me seemed to drop away, leaving nothing but me and the man. Unlike with Voldemort however, rather than a sense of evil, darkness and bloodlust, this man was giving out nothing but vague interest. Oh, he was also leaking power, but in his case, the amount of power dwarfed even that of Zelretch by a factor of insanity. Sure, Zelretch technically had an unlimited amount of power to draw on thanks to the Kaleidoscope, but his own power was nothing to sneeze at either. This man blew that power out of the water. Then, the man blinked and the illusion vanished.

I let out an explosive breath and staggered back a few steps.

"Harry, are you OK?" asked Tonks worriedly, "What happened? Your sweating like crazy."

I dragged my hand over my forehead and, sure enough, it came away damp.

"I-I'm fine," I said, "But...who is that guy?"

Tonks followed my point and frowned.

"Thats Enoch Croaker," she said, "Hes the head of the Department of Mysteries."

I narrowed my eyes. That explained a lot, but if he was Human, I'd happily eat my Cloak.

"Ah, Lord Longbottom, hello," said Fudge as he approached.

"Good morning Minister," said Frank smoothly, shaking the useless mans hand, "I trust everything is sorted?"

"A-ah, yes, of course," said Fudge, wringing his hands nervously, "Fear not sir, we will get to the bottom of this travesty."

"I hope so Minister," said Frank, "Sirius is a dear friend and I hope to see justice done today."

Fudge nodded shakily, before turning his eyes on me. I suppressed the urge to sigh as his eyes widened and he started babbling.

"Ah, Mr Potter, its an honour!" said Fudge, holding out a trembling, sweaty hand, "I'm Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic."

I really didn't want to shake it, both because of the sweat, but also because I really didn't like the cowardly little shit. At all. Still, I had to be polite, so I hide my grimace, sucked it up and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you Minister," I said nutrily.

Fudge's smile didn't shift, apparently completely missing the barely suppressed disdain I had for the man. It was apparent that I wasn't fooling Croaker though if the slight smirk he was wearing was anything to go by. Fortunately, Fudge quickly excused himself and hurried off down the stairs towards the courtrooms. As soon as he was gone, Croaker turned to me with a smirk.

"Well, that was an impressive show," he said, "If I didn't know better, I'd almost believe you didn't hate that mans guts."

"To be fair, its more of a complete and utter lack of respect," I said, "I consider him to be beneath my disdain."

Croaker let out a bark of laughter.

"HA, now I see why Zelretch has taken such an interest in you," he said, "I think I'll need to keep an eye on you as well, little Outsider."

I gave him a sharp look.

"How do you know about that?" I asked.

"Well, the Department of Mysteries isn't quite what it appears," said Croaker, "You might say we've...fallen somewhat."

I frowned.

"Whats that supposed to...wait…" I trailed off as I thought about what he had just said.

Then, my eyes widened at the exact same time as Croaker's smirk as I realized exactly what he was getting at.

"Oh hell, your Azazel!" I blurted out.

Azazel threw back his head and laughed as twelve black wings snapped open.

 **BWAHAHAHAHAHA, I'M BACK BABY! Sorry for the wait, but I couldn't figure out how to do the trial scene. Now I've got some ideas from reading other fics, so that should be coming in the not too distant future.**

 **At the risk of repeating myself, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE BEST FALLEN ANGEL IN ANIME HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! I know I said that the DXD route wouldn't be happening, but I never said that DXD wasn't a part of this world. To be fair, my original intention was to have Croaker be someone from either the Clock Tower or Necessarius, but then I had this idea and, well, Harry gets to deal with another obscenely powerful troll. How much impact DXD will have on this story is up for debate though, although I may have Harry get 'invited' to some of the bigger events.**

 **Speaking of, can anyone guess what I plan to do with Illya/Luna? Lets just say that Harry will likely be in tears by the time I'm done with this year.**

 **Hehe, alright, I need to sign off before I laugh my guts up. Please leave me a review!**


	21. Chapter 21

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Since it was giving me so much trouble, I decided to simply skim over the trial scene. Sorry for those who wanted to see that. Enjoy!**

Chapter 21

Well, this is quite the conundrum. I had no idea whether I should be focusing on my Godfathers trile or the fact that a FUCKING FALLEN ANGEL was sitting across the room from me. It had been a few minutes since I'd met Azazel and the perverted old Angel had done something to Frank and Tonks that resulted in them forgetting my (completely reasonable) reaction to figuring out who he was and his wings. To be fair, they had pulled their wands on him, but people sprouting wings isn't exactly normal, even in the Wizarding World. After he'd done that, he'd sauntered off with the promise that he'd be keeping an eye on me and expected great things from me, a statement that scared me even more than the idea of Zelretch letting Ruby loose in Hogwarts.

"Oh god, bad thoughts!" I yelped, shaking my head.

"Are you OK Harry?" asked Frank, "You've been out of it for a while."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, "So, whats going on?"

"Well, Phoenix has basically obliterating the opposition and even managed to slap Bagnold and Crouch with accusations of illegal imprisonment. Now Dumbledores making a fool of himself."

"Eh?"

"He's currently making the argument that Alice and I are unsuitable guardians for you thanks to our time in St Mungo's," said Frank.

"But...Alice is just my Magical Guardian," I said, "Grandpa is my actual Guardian, right?"

"Thats why hes making an ass of himself," said Frank, "He brought up the fact hes a Muggle, but since he's the one who left you with the Dursleys…"

"And just where would you propose Mr Potter be left instead?" asked the Judge.

"Why, with his Muggle relatives of course," said Dumbledore with a kind smile, "Family is important and he will be safe there."

There was complete and utter silence as everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore as they tried to figure out how in the hell me being with the Dursleys was any different than being with Grandpa. Even the diehard Dumbledore supporters were giving him looks that suggested they thought he was going around the twist.

"Right, thats it," said the Judge, "Case dismissed. The Longbottoms have been found mentally sound by a accredited Mind Healer and as Mrs Longbottom is Mr Potters sworn Godmother, we have no legal recourse to change that. Court adjourned."

He flicked his wand and the judges podium went dark as everyone else in the room started filling out.

"Well, that was interesting," said Frank, "Come on Harry."

He led me out of the courtroom and into a side chamber where we found Sirius talking with a man in Healer robes. As we entered, Sirius looked over and his eyes widened. The Healer glanced over and smiled.

"I'll leave you alone," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow Lord Black."

He gave a polite nod and left.

"Have fun," said Frank as he shut the door, leaving Sirius and I alone.

For a moment, Sirius and I just stared at each other. Then Sirius opened his mouth.

"If you say I look like Mum and Dad, I'll hex you," I said.

Sirius blinked, then snorted.

"Yeah, I guess you must get that a lot," he said, "Now quit standing around and sit down."

I took the seat across from him. The awkward silence once more fell over the room until Sirius spoke up again.

I'm sorry," he said.

I blinked in confusion

"What are you apologizing for?" I asked.

"For being a complete idiot," said Sirius, "I...I made a promise to my blood brother that I would protect you, take care of you if something happened to them, but I blew it! I should have taken you from Godrics Hollow that Night instead of going after Pettigrew!"

He looked up at me with pleading eyes.

"I know I have no right to ask this of you, but please, give me another chance to make it up to you."

I stared at him for a moment, before I let out a huff and gave a rueful smile.

"I guess I should have seen that coming," I said, "But you don't need to worry, I don't blame you. You did what you thought was best at the time, its not your fault that Bagnold and Crouch were paranoid and Dumbledore wanted you out of the way."

Sirius scowled at the mention of the old man, but didn't say anything. Instead, we spent some time talking and getting to know one another.

* * *

After the trial, the rest of the holidays flew by. Sirius spent most of it in St Mungo's undergoing treatment for 10 years of Dementor exposure, but considering I spent most of it working my way through my course books (minus Lockharts stuff obviously. Not only were they useless, but they were extremely poorly written to the point where they made 50 Shades of Gray look like Shakespeare), I had plenty to do. He did manage to show up for the trip to the Platform though.

One trip through the Floo later and we met up with Hermione at the platform as she passed through the Barrier. Considering we were early, it didn't take long to find a free compartment where we stowed our stuff and headed back out to say goodbye to our families, reboarding the train as 11 approached and the Weasleys came barreling onto the platform.

* * *

The trip to Hogwarts was uneventful, although I'm pretty sure I caught a brief glimpse of a blue Ford Anglia flying alongside the train a few times. Tracy and Daphne stopped by to exchange greetings and pleasantries, but they weren't able to stick around for long. After arriving in Hogsmeade Station, we waited until the crush of students died down like the previous year, before clambering off ourselves and making our way over to the carriages. I wasn't to surprised that I could see the Thestrals.

* * *

Fortunately, the trip to the castle wasn't long and before long we were sat at the Gryffindor table, waiting for the Sorting to begin. Mcgonagall led in the First years and I couldn't help but smirk when I caught sight of Luna bouncing on her toes and talking the ears off Miyu Edelfelt and a girl with red hair who was looking around with the wide eyed awe of a Muggleborn. One song about the Houses later and the sorting got under way.

I wasn't really interested in anyone other than Luna since this version of her didn't seem the type to end up in Ravenclaw. I did however note that Miyu ended up in Ravenclaw when she was called up. When it was Luna's turn, she pelted up to the front and jammed the Hat on her head. Then….

"HOLY SHIT, YOURE HIS DAUGHTER?!" shreaked the Hat, making the entire hall jump at the unexpected yell.

"You know my Daddy?" asked Luna.

"You could say that," said the Hat, "Hmm, very interesting…"

He trailed off and for a moment, there was silence, before the Hat snorted.

"OH, this is gonna be fun," he said.

He turned on Luna's head and shot a look my way.

"I suggest you stock up on headache potions Mr Potter, this ones gonna cause you no end of trouble. GRYFFINDOR!"

I blinked as all eyes turned on me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll see," said the Hat, "Now, lets continue."

Mcgonagall shook off her confusion and took the hat of Luna's head as the hidden Homunculus ran over to the table and sat down in the seat that mysteriously opened across from me.

"What was that all about Harry?" asked Hermione.

"I don't wanna know," I groaned, "But something tells me it'll have something to do with a certain old Troll with a penchant for making my life hell."

I suppressed a shudder as an echoing chuckle sounded inside my head.

* * *

The rest of the Sorting went without issue, other than a short chuckling fit the Hat was hit with when sorting 'Pennykettle Lucy' (who turned out to be the redhead Luna was taking at when they entered and ended up in Hufflepuff) and an outright gut wrenching laughing fit when sorting Ginny Weasley. He was still chuckling merrily to himself as Mcgonagall carried him away.

A short speech from Dumbledore regarding the usual stuff later and we we settling in to enjoy dinner, interrupted only by a loud crash from outside that Snape left to investigate and was probably Ron slamming into the Willow.

* * *

I was proven to be correct when the rumors started flying and, about 15 minutes after we all returned to the Common Room, a smug looking Ron entered the Dorm, swanning about like a conquering hero.

" _He looks like he shit himself,"_ said Lizzie from where she was lounging on the back of my headboard.

I grunted in agreement as Ron pranced around the room, basking in the attention being heaped on him by Seamus and Dean.

"You lot do realize that Ron damn near shattered the Statute of Secrecy with that stunt, right?" asked Neville, who looked as annoyed as I felt.

The three other boys glanced at one another and Ron started advancing on Neville, a sneer on his face.

"Whats that supposed to mean Longbottom?" he sneered as he tried to loom over Neville.

Considering that Ron was built like a beanpole, it didn't work, even if he was taller than Neville.

"I mean that you have no idea how this little performance of yours isn't going to reflect very well on your family," said Neville, "Especially since your Father works for the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office and yet apparently created a flying car. Do you have any idea how much trouble hes going to be in?"

Ron paused and a look like he was constipated crossed his face, before he paled rapidly.

"Oh Merlin, I'm in trouble," he muttered.

"He just realized that?" I muttered.

" _I'm surprised he realized it at all,"_ said Lizzie, " _Anyway, we're gonna need to be up early tomorrow, so…."_

I nodded and wished Neville goodnight, before shutting my curtains with a flick of my wrist.

 **And done. A tad short and a bit disappointing for the length of time between updates, but I'm hoping this'll help me break the writers block.**

 **Is anyone surprised that this Luna/Illya got into Gryffindor? Considering what the version shes based in is like, it shouldn't be that surprising.**

 **I wonder if anyone will notice the gag I inserted? Don't worry those that do, I won't be including that world. It's been way too long since I've read them to do so.**

 **And with that, I'm done. Please leave a review on the way out!**


	22. Chapter 22

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 22

The next day dawned bright and early with Neville and I heading down to breakfast where we found Hermione already there reading a book on string theory that was propped up on a milk jug.

"Morning," she said as we sat down.

"Morning," I said, "Do you actually understand any of that?"

"Not a word," said Hermione with a sigh, "And this is the simplest book on the subject I could find."

"Whats string theory?" asked Neville after reading the cover of the book.

"Well…"

"Can this wait until after breakfast?" I asked hurriedly, "I don't want a headache this early in the morning."

Hermione pouted, but nodded.

"Fair enough," she said and replaced the book with Voyages with Vampires.

That wasn't much better. Still, so long as she didn't try and make me read that trash, I could live with it. What I couldn't live with was the ragged looking feather duster that came shooting out of the sky and landed in my weetabix. My eye twitched as milk and bits of semi-liquid cereal dripped off my hair.

"Ronald, is this menace yours?!" I hissed as I fished the half dead owl out of what had been my breakfast.

"Errol!" said Ron in surprise, "Whats he doing here?"

" _Dinner,"_ hissed Lizzie, who was also dripping with milk.

The elderly owl snapped awake at that and started flailing in my grip, before I tossed him down the table to Ron, where he dropped his burden and took off before Lizzie could make good on her threat.

"Oh no…" gasped Ron when he saw the damp red envelope in front of him.

"Hey look everyone, Weasleys got himself a Howler!" said Seamus.

"You'd better open it, Ron," said Neville in a disinterested tone, "It'll be worse if you don't. Actually, on second thoughts, go ahead and ignore it."

"Blimey, spending time with Alice sure has given you a ruthless streak," I said.

"Well, its expected of me," said Neville with a smirk, "I might not bear their name, but I still have Barthomeloi blood in me."

I shuddered at that.

"Good point," I muttered.

Further conversation was cut off as the Howler suddenly exploded, sending the hall into utter silence as Mrs Weasleys magically amplified voice echoed around the room, shaking dust from the ceiling.

"— STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE —"

Mrs. Weasley's yells, a hundred times louder than usual, made the plates and spoons rattle on the table, and echoed deafeningly off the stone walls. People throughout the hall were swiveling around to see who had received the Howler, and Ron sank so low in his chair that only his crimson forehead could be seen.

"— LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU COULD HAVE DIED! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED — YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME."

A ringing silence fell. The red envelope, which had dropped from Ron's hand, burst into flames and curled into ashes. A few people laughed and, gradually, a babble of talk broke out again.

"Well, that was interesting," I said as I worked a finger into my ear to try and get rid of the ringing.

" _Hurbble,"_ groaned Lizzie, who was flat on her back with swirls in her eyes.

"Is she alright?" asked Neville, poking the incensed Dragon worriedly.

"She'll be fine," I said.

* * *

I was proven right when Lizzie recovered a few minutes later after we got our timetables and headed out for our first lesson, Herbology with the Hufflepuffs. The three of us headed out together. Hermione seemed to be stuck somewhere between annoyed, incredulous and curious over the Howler, annoyed due to the noise, incredulous over who would actually put someone through something like that and curious over how they were made. As we neared the greenhouses, we saw the rest of the class standing outside, waiting for Professor Sprout. We had only just joined them when Sprout came striding into view with an armful of bandages and a grinning Gilderoy Lockhart, who was still sparkling. Seriously, what kind of self respecting man sparkles?

"Oh, hello there!" he called, beaming around at us, "Just been showing Professor Sprout the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow! But I don't want you running away with the idea that I'm better at Herbology than she is! I just happen to have met several of these exotic plants on my travels . . ."

"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" said Professor Sprout, who looked like she was considering feeding Lockhart to a Venomous Tentacula or something.

There was a murmur of interest. We had only ever worked in greenhouse one before and greenhouse three housed far more interesting and dangerous plants. Professor Sprout took a large key from her belt and unlocked the door. I caught a whiff of damp earth and fertilizer mingling with the heavy perfume of some giant, umbrella-sized flowers dangling from the ceiling and promptly sneezed.

I blew my nose and was about to follow my friends inside when Lockhart's hand shot out.

"Harry! I've been wanting a word — you don't mind if he's a couple of minutes late, do you, Professor Sprout?" said the ponce.

Judging by Professor Sprout's scowl, she did mind, but Lockhart completely ignored the way her fingers were twitching in the direction of her wand.

"That's the ticket," he said and closed the greenhouse door in her face.

I scowled and glared at the ponce. I really didn't want to spend any more time around this cowardly scum than I had to .

"Harry," said Lockhart, his large white teeth gleaming in the sunlight as he shook his head, "Harry, Harry, Harry."

"Thats my name, don't ware it out," I said, just barely keeping the growl out of my voice.

Lizzie on the other hand had no such restraint and was openly growling at the idiot, flaring her wings threateningly. Unfortunately, it seemed that Flophart was as lacking in survival instincts as Ron and Malfoy and so he ignored the angry apex predator on my shoulder. Instead he laughed and patted me on the shoulder condescendingly.

"Its good to see your alright Harry," said Lockhart, "I admit, I was worried that you'd have done something silly, like joining your friend flying that car to school."

I blinked.

"What?"

"Gave you a taste for publicity, didn't I?" said Lockhart, "Gave you the bug. You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn't wait to do it again."

"Ur, actually…"

"Harry, Harry, Harry," said Lockhart, reaching out and grasping my shoulder, "I understand. Natural to want a bit more once you've had that first taste — and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head — but see here, young man, you can't start doing just anything to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, all right? Plenty of time for all that when you're older. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! 'It's all right for him, he's an internationally famous wizard already!' But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"

He glanced at the my forehead where the remains of my scar could just be seen, completely ignoring the way Lizzie was eyeing his fingers like she was trying to decide which to eat first.

"I know, I know — it's not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most-

Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have — but it's a start, Harry, it's a start."

He gave me a hearty wink and strode off, leaving me to stare after him, completely nonplussed.

" _Can you hit the ponce with a Gandr Shot?"_ asked Lizzie.

I snorted and shook my head.

"Maybe later," I said, "For now, lets get to class."

" _And thats my cue to leave,"_ said Lizzie, _"I'll see ya later."_

She spread her wings and flew off as I turned and entered the Greenhouse.

"Sorry about that Professor," I said.

"Don't worry about it Potter," said Sprout, "I know what he's like unfortunately. Just join your group and we'll get started."

I did as I was told and joined Hermione and Neville around our normal workstation.

"We'll be repotting Mandrakes today," said Sprout, "Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?"

* * *

The lesson was relatively interesting, although I had to wonder about the convenience of this. Mandrakes were relatively expensive and, although part of the curriculum, it wasn't often that the school was able to get enough to do a practical lesson on them. It made me wonder if maybe Dumbledore knew what was coming this year. Still, hopefully with the lack of confrontation with the Weasleys, Malfoy senior hadn't been able to plant the Diary.

Anyway, By the end of the class, I, like everyone else, was sweaty, aching, and covered in earth. Everyone traipsed back to the castle for a quick wash and then the Gryffindors hurried off to Transfiguration.

As usual, with the help of my Occlumency and an understanding of the material, I was one of the first to get it and spent the rest of the lesson trying to help Neville get his head around it. The boy had improved in virtually every lesson since getting his own Wand, but Transfiguration remained his weakest subject, other than Potions. Even when Snape wasn't a foul git, he still managed to make Neville nervus to the point that I had regulated him to prep in every lesson.

Still, Ron was having far worse problems. He had patched up his wand with some borrowed Spellotape, but it seemed to be damaged beyond repair. It kept crackling and sparking at odd moments, and every time Ron tried to transfigure his beetle it engulfed him in thick gray smoke that smelled of rotten eggs. It made me glad we were sitting across from him since Pavarti and Lavender were starting to look rather green from the exposure to the stuff.

* * *

"What've we got this afternoon?" I asked as we sat down for lunch.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione at once.

"Why," demanded Neville, who had glanced at her timetable over her shoulder, "Have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?"

Hermione blushed furiously. I sighed and decided to nip this little infatuation at the bud.

"Hermione, I assume that you've read all of Lockharts books, right?" I asked.

"Professor Lockhart," corrected Hermione, "And yes. Haven't you?"

"Nope, not after I realized that Lockhart had no understanding of sentence structure, grammar, punctuation or even basic spelling," I drawled, "Plus, if you actually take a moment to think about the events he claims happened, you realize that some of the events happened within an incredibly short space of time in places that its impossible to get to quickly. Plus, more than a quarter of the spells hes claimed to used either don't exist or don't do what he claims."

Hermione looked surprised.

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"He's a fraud," I deadpanned, "Check for yourself if you don't believe me."

Hermione's face went through an impressive gambit of emotions, before she dove into her bag and pulled out a fell set of Lockharts books and started flipping through them, muttering and making notes on a bit of parchment.

"Whas that really necessary?" asked Neville, "You know she'll be doing that for ages now."

I shrugged.

"Better she breaks this infatuation now before she humiliates herself," I said.

I turned to get some lunch when…

"Hi Harry!"

FLASH!

I blinked rapidly to clear my vision and stifled a groan when I saw a small, mousy haired boy stood across the table from me with a large camera in his hands.

"All right, Harry?" he said breathlessly, "I'm — I'm Colin Creevey, I'm in Gryffindor, too!"

"Um, hi Colin," I said.

D'you think — would it be all right if — can I have a picture?" said Colin, raising the camera hopefully.

"I thought you just did," I muttered.

"So I can prove I've met you," continued Colin eagerly, apparently not hearing me, "I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You-Know-Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead…"

He eyed my forehead.

"...and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures'll move!" he continued and drew a great shuddering breath of excitement and said, "It's amazing here, isn't it? I never knew all the odd stuff I could do was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it'd be really good if I had one of you..."

He looked imploringly at me.

"Maybe your friend could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?"

"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?"

I groaned as Malfoys loud and scathing echoed across the hall courtyard. He stepped right behind Colin, flanked by his two bookends.

"No Malfoy, I am not," I growled, "Now bugger off before I turn you into a platypus again."

Malfoy went purple at the reminder and stalked away, muttering under his breath.

"As for you Colin, I strongly suggest that you take anything you read or hear about me with a grain of salt. Most of what you hear is either hyperbole or outright false."

I ignored the forlorn look that crossed Colins face and got to my feet.

"I'll see you guys in class," I said and walked away.

 **And done. This was sort of a filler chapter with nothing really that interesting happening. With that in mind, I think I'll cut this AN short and just tell ya'll to review!**


	23. Chapter 23

Outsider Chronicles: Screw Fate!

A lot of people believe that being reborn as your favorite character would be fun, but I wonder how many of you actually think about what that would mean? It wouldn't be cool, it'd be annoying and, quite possibly, lethal. Awe well, at least I finally get the chance to tell that manipulative old man to go fuck himself.

 **And here we go with some more bullshit. Enjoy!**

Chapter 23

" _Are you alright?"_ asked Lizzie as I stalked through the halls.

I stopped and took a deep breath.

"I'll be fine," I said, "I just...I wish people would stop jumping to conclusions about me."

Lizzie scoffed.

" _Thats likely,"_ she said.

I just grunted in response. I stopped and lent against the wall, looking out the window next to me over the Lake.

"Its only going to get harder," I muttered, "I'm pretty sure the Dairy hasn't made it into school, but even so, I can't let my guard down."

" _What are you going to do if it is here?"_ asked Lizzie.

"Good question," I said, "I guess it'll depend on who is targeted and how everyone else reacts. If they pin the blame on me...they can sort it out for themselves."

" _Ouch, thats cold,"_ said Lizzie.

"And I should care, why?" I said, "I mean, I could easily get into just about any school in Academy City or hell, even the Clock Tower if I wanted, although that would probably be a bad idea considering I'm basically a walking miracle with Avalon in me, if these idiots push me too far I can and WILL leave them to burn."

Lizzie stared at me with wide eyes.

" _Holy Tiamat, are you sure you're not part Dragon?"_ she asked.

"I do have Dragons Blood," I said.

"Good point."

I snorted, before letting out a sigh as I glanced down at my wrist.

"Well, looks like its time for Lockharts lesson," I said, "Joy…"

Lizzie just rubbed my head with her wing as I headed off to the DADA classroom.

* * *

I arrived at the same time as the rest of my classmates, brushing off my friends worried questions with a smile and a 'I'm fine' as we sat down. I really wasn't looking forwards to this…

It began just as badly as I imagined, with the sparkling ponce entering the classroom with all the flourish and posture of a peacock. Oh, and he was still bloody sparkling. He reached forward, picked up Neville's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking mug on the front.

"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly, although I stayed resolutely silent, although in fairness that was because I thought I might be sick if I opened my mouth. Neville didn't look much better and Hermione looked like she was busy reevaluating everything she thought of the ponce (again). Lizzie on the other hand had crawled under my desk and was busy vomiting into Ron's bag if the sounds coming from below the desk was anything to go by.

"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books, well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about, just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in —"

When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes — start — now!"

"What the bloody hell..?" hissed Neville, staring at the questions.

"I second that notion," I muttered, before picking up my quill and beginning to write.

"You're actually doing it?" asked Neville incredulously.

I showed him the answers I had so far.

1\. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite colour?

Vomit Green.

2\. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?

To be chased by a horde of bloodthirsty, middle aged fangirls.

3\. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

Putting his underpants on the right way around.

Neville snickered and immediately started doing something similar. Hermione noticed and looked somewhere between disapproving and amused.

* * *

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the 'tests' and set about marking them. It was obvious when got to Neville and mine because his face went through a variety of colours and expressions that was rather interesting to watch.

"Ahem, yes, well," he said, looking shaken, "Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully as I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples, though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!"

He gave us another roguish wink and I had to resist the urge to blast him with a full power Finn shot. Or see if I could teleport internal organs.

"Now, to business!" said Lockhart

He reached under his desk and pulled out a covered cage.

"Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

I have to admit that the ponce knew how to play the crowd as most people in the room leant forwards as Lockhart placed a hand on the cover.

"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice, "It might provoke them."

As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.

"Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."

Seamus Finnigan let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.

"Yes?" He smiled at Seamus.

"Well, they're not — they're not very — dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.

"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus, "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"

I had no doubt that was true, but I also had no doubt that they were hardly dangerous and could be dealt with fairly easily. They were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.

"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!"

And he opened the cage. It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like

rockets. Two of them seized Ron by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, up-ended the waste basket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window; within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Ron was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.

Neville and Hermione dove under their desks the moment Lockhart opened the cage, but I didn't bother. Instead, I tapped into my Crest and formed a quick Bounded Field that served as a solid wall of air that more than a few Pixies slammed face first into like bugs on a windscreen.

"Come on now, round them up, round them up, they're only Pixies," Lockhart shouted.

He rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed,

"Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped sprinted up to his office and dove inside, slamming the door behind him.

"HARRY, QUIT SITTING AROUND AND DO SOMETHING!" roared Hermione.

I sighed and got to my feet.

"Fine, but remember, you asked for this," I said, "Lizzie, if you don't mind."

The Dragon poked her head out from under the desk and let out a shriek that rattled the windows in their frames. The response was immediate as the Pixies froze and turned towards us.

"Right, now I've got your attention, you have a few choices," I said, "Option one, you can stay and be Lizzies lunch."

The Dragon grinned, showing off her razor sharp teeth.

"Alternatively, you can leave through the window and make a new home in the forest," I continued, "Or I can open the idiots door and you can have some fun before leaving."

The Pixies immediately gathered in a huddle and started giving off an odd buzzing sound. After a moment, one of them stepped forwards and held up three fingers. I grinned and pointed my wand at Lockharts door, which creaked open. The Pixies immediately took off and shot through the gap before it snapped shut again. A moment later, a girlish scream echoed from inside.

"And that my friends, is how you deal with a swarm of Cornish Pixies," I said, turning to the class with a grin.

Hermione, who's face had steadily becoming redder as my 'solution' became clear to everyone, finally snapped.

"GOD DAMN IT HARRY!" she roared.

I just burst out laughing.

* * *

Following the disastrous first DADA lesson, things mostly calmed down. After my scolding of Colin, he hadn't approached me again, although I had made a point to apologize to him and explain my dislike of my fame. It wasn't his fault he got swept up in the 'Potter fan club' after all. As an added bonus, after I explained the actual reason why I was famous without hyperbole or the myth that had been added to the story, he had given me a very confused look and outright said that he thought the entire thing was stupid. My response had been to burst out laughing.

In other news, through no fault of my own, I had acquired a redheaded shadow. As expected, Ginny had developed a rather annoying habit of popping up wherever I was. I think she had somehow got her hands on a copy of my timetable or something. It didn't help that Lockhart was just as bad and he was far more aggressive in trying to talk to me. Eventually I resorted to using my Cloak and a multitude of secret passages to avoid the annoying fraud.

* * *

October quickly rolled around and more and more people were turning up to classes with steam spewing from their ears from Pomfrey's Pepper up potions. Classes were going well for us all, although Lockharts were as useless as ever. As an added bonus, no hissing in the walls and thanks to Ginny's apparent overexposure to pepper ups, I could see her coming a mile away thanks to her impression of the Hogwarts express. As such, I was in a good mood, despite the driving rain, as I made my way back to the Common Room after some time studying in the Library.

". . . don't fulfill their requirements . . . half an inch, if that . . ."

I paused as the sound of someone muttering to themselves floated into my ears. I turned the corner and saw Nearly Headless Nick floating in the hallway, gazing out the window morosely

"Hello, Nick," I said as I approached.

"Hello, hello," said Nearly Headless Nick.

"Are you OK?" I asked, "You look down."

"Ah," Nearly Headless Nick waved an elegant hand, "a matter of no importance. . . . It's not as though I really wanted to join. . . .Thought I'd apply, but apparently I 'don't fulfill requirements'..."

In spite of his airy tone, there was a look of great bitterness on his face.

"But you would think, wouldn't you," he erupted suddenly, pulling the letter back out of his pocket, "that getting hit forty-five times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the

Headless Hunt?"

"I guess so," I said, "But isn't there anything that could finish the job?"

Nick sighed.

"Maybe, but I honestly don't know," he said, "It is difficult to find such things when one is trapped in one place."

"Hnn, I suspect a Conceptual Weapon might do the job," I said, "Maybe a Black Key or something similar. Perhaps a Magician could have something that could work. Hmm…"

Nick blinked at me.

"My word, you actually know something that could do it?" he asked.

"Maybe, but there's no easy way to get hold of them," I said with a shrug, "Sorry."

Nick sighed.

"I knew it was too good to be true," he muttered.

"Still, at least you can say that you're tougher than whats his face from the Headless Hunt," I said.

"Huh?"

"Well, he was probably executed by guillotine, right?"

Nick nodded.

"One quick chop and it was over. You on the other hand held on for 45 swings before you died. Who's the better man now?"

Nick stared at me for a moment, before a slow smile crossed his face.

"Your right," he said, "Thank you for that my boy, you've cheered me right up!"

"Think nothing of it," I said, "See ya."

"Wait a moment Mr Potter," said Nick.

"Hmm?"

"I'm holding a party down in one of the roomier dungeons for my 500th Death day," said Nick, "Friends will be coming from all over the country. It would be such an honor if you would attend. Mr. Longbottom and Miss Granger would be most welcome, too, of course — but I daresay you'd rather go to the school feast?"

"Actually, that sounds kinda interesting," I said, "A chance to learn about history from people who experienced it first hand...make sure theres some food there for the living and you got yourself a deal!"

"My dear boy!" said Nick happily, "Harry Potter, at my deathday party! Oh, thank you for this, it means a lot!"

He floated away, chuckling to himself. I sighed. Me and my bleeding heart. Well, at least tonight would be fun...right?

 **And done. Phew, finally! Christ, this fought me every step of the way, but its done now and this story is back in action! I hope...**

 **So yeah, Harrys already starting to get annoyed with the Wizarding World. It won't take long for him to reach his boiling point.**

 **And with that, I'm done. I feel like not much is happening in these chapters...eh, things'll pick up I'm sure. Anyway, don't forget to review!**


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